92 Pacific Boulevard
“Not often enough,” Tanni complained. “Everything’s going to change and I don’t want it to.”
Tanni sounded like she had as a little girl, needing her mother’s comfort.
“Would you like a hug?” Shirley chanced asking.
Her daughter glared as though the offer had offended her.
“A hug wouldn’t hurt,” Shirley added.
Tanni shrugged. “I suppose so.”
Shirley put down her knitting, then stood and walked over to her daughter. She couldn’t remember the last time Tanni had permitted her to show any affection. An involuntary sighed escaped as she slid her arms around her daughter.
To her shock and delight, Tanni hugged her back.
“You’re going to do just fine,” Shirley said. “And so is Shaw.”
Tanni leaned her head against her mother’s shoulder. “I hope he does.”
“I know you do.”
“But I’m afraid,” Tanni whispered. “What if he’s so successful he doesn’t want anything to do with me?”
Shirley wasn’t sure how to reassure Tanni. She couldn’t promise that wouldn’t happen and some part of her actually hoped it would.
Tanni broke away and straightened.
Shirley returned to her knitting; Tanni stayed in the room. After a couple of minutes, Tanni said, “The school passed around a notice from Grace Harding, the woman who runs the library.”
“A notice for what?”
“The library’s looking for volunteers to work with kids and dogs,” Tanni told her.
“Dogs in the library?”
“That’s what it said. Ms. Harding is bringing in dogs from the animal shelter and letting children with reading problems read to them. A lot of kids at school say it’s silly, but I think it’s a great idea.”
“Why would the library need volunteers? Don’t they already have quite a few?”
“I’m not sure, but this is something I’d like to do.”
“Okay. It sounds interesting.”
“There’s a meeting next week and I want to go.”
“I’ll be curious to hear more about it.”
“I’ll let you know.” Tanni started to leave. Halfway across the room, she stopped and glanced over her shoulder. Then, in a casual tone, she said, “Thanks for listening, Mom.”
Tears welled up in Shirley’s eyes. “You’re welcome,” she whispered.
A year after losing her husband, it almost felt as if she had her daughter back.
Twenty-Six
Saturday evening, after spending eight hours on her feet at the cash register, Christie was tired. Bone-deep tired. For months, day after day, it’d been nothing but work and school. She couldn’t even remember her last visit to the Pink Poodle.
They’d had exams that week and Christie decided she deserved a small reward. She’d done all her assignments, studied hard and become proficient with both a camera and a calculator. One beer wouldn’t hurt, and it would be good to reconnect with her friends.
She pulled into a parking space, and out of the corner of her eye saw a limo at the back of the lot.
No. It couldn’t be. James? Had he come looking for her? Was he waiting there on the off chance she’d show up?
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d dropped by the Pink Poodle, but it would be the last! Climbing out of her car, she slammed the door and marched toward the parked limo.
Rapping hard against the dark windows, she didn’t immediately realize the vehicle was empty.
She rubbed her knuckles. If James wasn’t in the limo, that probably meant he was in the bar. That was fine with her. She’d flirt with her friends and ignore him, a prospect that filled her with renewed energy.
Walking into the tavern, Christie first spotted Kyle, a divorced plumber. Several other guys were there, too, mostly sitting at tables. A few of them were playing pool.
“Hey, look who’s here.” Kyle lifted his beer mug in salute.
“Christie!” Bill slid off his stool to give her a hug.
Larry, who worked the bar, automatically got her a draft.
It didn’t take her long to find James. He sat alone in a corner of the room. That wasn’t a beer he had, nor did it resemble a mixed drink. From the looks of it, he was sipping a soda.
“Where’ve you been?” Kyle asked when Christie slipped onto the bar stool next to her old friend.
“Oh, around.”
“I heard you been taking college classes,” Larry commented, setting the frothy mug in front of her.
“Yeah, I decided it was time to get serious about a career.”
If James had noticed her, he didn’t give any sign.
Bill sidled up next to her.
“What’s with the guy in back?” she asked, pointing at James.
“We call him the Professor,” Larry said and his voice fell to a whisper.
“Does he come here often?”
Kyle shrugged. “Once or twice a week.”
“Been comin’ by every so often for the past couple months. Never says a word. All this time and none of us even know who he is.”
“He’s James Wilbur,” she said automatically. She hadn’t meant to acknowledge him. Her problem, one of many, was her inability to keep her mouth shut.
“You know him?”
Rather than lie, she took her first sip of beer while she tried to come up with a reasonable response. “Not really. I thought I knew him at one time, but I was wrong.” She wasn’t sure how much sense that made—at least to them.
“Hey, just a minute.” Kyle glanced from Christie to Bill, and then to Larry. He held up one finger. “I remember him.”
“He’s the guy who hung out in the parking lot before Christmas.”
Larry nodded in recognition. “The guy in the limo!”
“Is it out there now?” Kyle asked. He and Bill hurried to the door. “Yup,” Kyle told them a moment later. “Sure is.”
“Looks like he finally worked up the courage to step over the threshold,” Christie said, playing along.
All three men laughed, causing a few of the other patrons to turn in their direction.
“You might want to say hello,” Larry said.
Christie shook her head. “Why would I do that?”
“You said you knew him. He’s been pretty morose, sitting there nursing his Diet Coke.”
Diet Coke. The man was as skinny as a rail and he drank Diet Coke? For some reason she couldn’t explain, the thought made her furious.
“Sure, Christie, go say hello.” That was Kyle, throwing in his two cents’ worth.
“I’ll bet he’s been waiting for you all this time,” Bill said in a teasing voice.
“Oh, puleese.”
All three grinned.
“Hey, he looks like he could use a friend.”
Talking to James hadn’t been part of her plan, but when the guys urged her to go over, she found the suggestion irresistible. At this point she didn’t have a clue what she intended to say. It’d probably end up being something stupid. But even knowing that wasn’t enough to stop her.
James didn’t look up as she approached, which sort of ruined things. She didn’t wait for an invitation to pull out a chair and join him.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded.
He answered by lifting his Diet Coke and taking a sip.
“What’s the matter, have you forgotten how to talk?”
“No.”
James had always been a man of few words, but never fewer than now.
“The guys said you’ve been coming around for a while. Any reason?”
“You.”
She rolled her eyes. She hated one-word responses. “Would you care to elaborate?”
“No.”
“Fine. If that’s the way you want it.” She sat sideways in the chair, crossed her legs and made idle circles with her foot. It felt good to sit after spending so many hours on her feet.
James ignored her and she ignored him. After a few minutes, she could see this wasn’t going anywhere, so she started to stand. His hand shot across the table, stopping her.
“What?” she snapped, shaking herself free. If he wanted to limit his responses to one word, she’d do that, too.
“Stay.”
“Why?” She wondered how long this could continue. Not long, she decided. “Stay? You treat me like I’m your pet dog.”
“Please stay.”
Two words. Well, that was an improvement. Slight, but an improvement nonetheless.
Silence stretched between them. James was the one to break it. “I came because I felt close to you here.”
“I hope you know I didn’t stay away because of you.”
“I realize that. You’ve been taking business and photography classes. Teri told me.”
Her sister the traitor.
James looked directly at her then. “Is it so hard to forgive me?” he asked quietly.
Rather than explain, she simply nodded.
His mouth tightened. “I’m sorry for you.”
Christie raised one hand to her chest. “For me?”
James shook his head sadly. “Haven’t you figured out yet that no man will ever love you as much as I do?”
“Right,” she muttered sarcastically. “Trust me on this, Mr. Chauffeur, plenty of men have claimed undying love, just like you did, and then walked out. You’re no different and you proved it.”
“If you’d be willing to let me have a second chance, I’ll prove otherwise.”
“Sorry, I’ve handed out all the second chances I plan to give.” She sounded definite and sure of herself, but she could feel her resolve weakening.
He hesitated, then shrugged in resignation. “That’s a shame.”
“Oh, yeah, I’m going to regret this, right? Well, I’m way past regret, James Wilbur or whatever your real name is. Way, way past that. I’ve already suffered all my regrets—the day you ran off.”
He nodded and stood.
She flinched involuntarily when he reached out to run his finger down her cheek. His touch was light, a caress. “We would’ve had beautiful babies.” With that he walked away.
She wanted to shout after him that it was a B-movie line—but she was paralyzed, her breath locked in her lungs. When she’d managed to exhale, she vaulted out of her chair and ran outside. James was halfway across the parking lot.
“Wait just one minute!”
Silently he turned to face her.
Christie stabbed her finger into his chest. “That was low and completely underhanded and…and cruel. And you know it!”
Because, clichéd line or not, he’d struck her weakest point—her desire for a baby. He knew this about her because she’d been honest with him, confided all her hopes and failures and dreams. It was the one thing he could’ve said that was guaranteed to send her running after him. If Christie hadn’t been so angry, she would’ve broken into sobs. Her longing for a child had been shoved aside for so many years that whenever it surfaced the ache became unbearable.