A Need So Beautiful (A Need So Beautiful #1)(23)
Author: Suzanne Young

Harlin’s hand slides beneath my heavy sweater as I work on undoing his belt. When he pushes my bra strap off my shoulder, I freeze.

What was I thinking? I’m missing a huge patch of skin and if Harlin sees—oh, God.

I push his hand away and shake my head. “I can’t,” I say, trying to catch my breath.

“What?” He doesn’t seem to understand and comes back toward my mouth, kissing me.

“Stop,” I say softly.

He does. Harlin’s eyes are glassy with desire as he moves back, his belt nearly undone and his shirt off. “Charlotte,” he says, his voice raspy, “if you’re not in the mood, I understand. But if . . . things have changed.” He pulls his eyebrows together as he considers his words.

Harlin is never one to be insecure, but the last few months, I’ve been gone a lot. I knew he’d start wondering sooner or later. This was what I was afraid of.

“My feelings haven’t changed. It’s nothing like that.” I put my hands on his chest and then hug myself to him. “I . . . I . . .” I’m a freak? I’m not sure I’m human anymore? What can I say? “I have to go somewhere right now. Can we talk about this later?”

I glance up to see him looking past me, at the door. “Sure,” he says with a nod. “Whenever you can pencil me in.” His jaw’s tight and the expression on his face is cold. But I can’t explain to him about my shoulder. I don’t even know what it is.

“Harlin—”

“Did you really get hit by a car?”

My eyes snap to his, but he won’t look at me. “What?”

“You’re so secretive. Did you really get hit by a car?”

“Yes.”

He swallows hard. Then he looks at me, his eyes troubled. “You’re lying to me about something, Charlotte. I know you are.”

I can’t answer. I want to tell him everything. I’m thinking that maybe I should try. “It’s not what you think,” I start. “When I saw Monroe, he—”

And it’s like I’m punched in the gut. A crushing pain fills my belly and I double over, falling to my knees on the floor. Harlin yells my name, but I can’t answer. The room is spinning. I feel like I’m dying.

I collapse on my side, unable to get any air. I claw at my throat and feel Harlin next to me, trying to hold me. I don’t know what’s happening. This is new and I’m terrified.

It’s not a Need.

Harlin has to open a window, get more oxygen in the room. I’m suffocating. I turn over on my side and reach my hand out, stretching for the glass across the room.

A scream gets caught in my throat. On the other side of Harlin’s window, crouched down on the fire escape with her hand on the glass, is Onika—the woman in black. Her coat and boots are slick as rain starts to pour down around her. She smiles at me as she traces her gloved finger down the window. And then my vision blurs and I go dark.

“We really should stop meeting like this.”

My eyelids flutter and I’m standing on the bridge near the railing where Onika’s perched. It’s not raining here, but the clouds cover us in gloom. “What’s happening?” I ask. I clench my stomach, but before I can even think about the sickness there, it’s gone.

“You passed out on the boy’s floor. He’s cute, by the way.”

I stare at her and then look around at the empty road, the empty city. It’s like we’re the only living things left. She smiles as if reading my thought. With an agile movement she hops down from the railing, her boots slap on the pavement.

“Why this bridge?” she asks. “My crossover was supposed to happen off a tower in London. It was a building where I lived for a long time.” She seems lost in a memory.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say. “I’m not taking us here.”

“Of course you are, love. These are your visions, not mine. This is where the big moment will happen!” She fakes enthusiasm and then lets the expression fade away with a smirk. “The crossover. The spreading of the light.” She laughs. “Or in other words, the place where you’ll die.”

A shudder runs down my body and I step back from her.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not here to hurt you.” She leans against the railing, looking relaxed. “Actually, I’m here to help you.”

“How?”

“Well, for starters, I can help you get your skin back.”

My eyes widen. “Really?”

She nods. “We can make a deal. I have a lot of things I can teach you. You don’t have to go gently into the light, sweet Charlotte. Believe me, there’s no fun in that.”

“You’re like me? But you didn’t go into the light?”

“Not exactly like you, but close enough.”

Suddenly my entire world is illuminated and I feel like I’m being pulled out of my body. But when my eyes open, I’m on Harlin’s floor, staring up at his terrified face.

I remember the woman in black, Onika, and search for the window. But she’s gone. Harlin brushes my hair away from my face and checks me over. I hold on to him as he stays on the floor with me, wiping my tears.

“You passed out,” he murmurs, reaching to slide his shirt back over his head. “I thought you stopped breathing.”

“I’m okay,” I say, but my throat still burns. This time the dream doesn’t fade completely. I can still remember that Onika said she could save my skin. She said I didn’t have to go into the light. “I think I need to see Monroe,” I say.

Harlin pulls back to look at me. “Are you kidding? Charlotte, you need to go the hospital. This is serious.”

“I know. But Monroe has my records. He’ll know how to treat me.” I stagger, trying to stand, and Harlin straightens me.

“Baby, please.”

I turn and look into his eyes, see the confusion, frustration. And I see the distrust. But this is my chance. I have to find out if Monroe knows about Onika, and I have to find her again. I have to fight the Need.

“Let’s go,” I say softly. Harlin stares back, but then he puts his arm around me and helps me to the door. Even now, with him angry at me, I feel protected by him. I feel him.

Harlin grabs my green jacket and as we open the front door, Jeremy is there, his key poised to unlock the door. He has a bagel in his mouth and a surprised look on his face.

“Hey,” he says suspiciously as he straightens and takes the bagel from between his teeth. “You two all alone in there?”