A Rescued Heart(16)
Author: Natalie Replogle

“Ava,” he said, interrupting her. “I’mnotTim. I know that you had such a horrible experience with him and for that I am truly sorry, butI am not Tim. The past is the past and there is nothing we can do to change it.”

He had never spoken with such frustration toward her. It made him mad to be compared to another man, and especially to Tim.

He paced back and forth to blow off steam before positioning himself to stand in front of her. “You and me,” he took his finger and pointed back and forth between them, “that is what matters. This is now.”

“It’s easy to say that now, Matt.”

“Why?”

“Because our relationship is new and exciting.”

“Compared to old and comfortable?”

“Don’t make fun.”

“I’m not.” He ran his fingers through his hair, not sure where to go from here. “I’m not saying that I’ll never hurt or disappoint you, because I’m only human. Iwillfail you, Ava. As for the future, Idon’t know what it holds. I know what I want it to be, but for now, I only know that I love you.”

She looked down and moved the sand around with her foot. Her silence was killing him. “I’m scared,” she finally whispered.

He exhaled, keeping his frustration in check. “I know. If you’re upset because you’re afraid then you need to hear and understand that I’m not going anywhere. You have to trust that God, not me, will take care of your heart. However, if you’re upset because you don’t have the same feelings in return, than please just put me out of my misery.”

He turned and walked down the beach a few steps, keeping his back to her and rubbing his forehead with his fingers. He needed to breathe and remember that Ava was still weighted down from the bondage of her past, but it didn’t take away his feelings of weakness, doubt, and potential rejection.

Matt didn’t know what else to do but pray. This relationship wasn’t going to work on Matt’s efforts alone. Ava needed to trust God before she would ever be able to trust him. It would be a process and she would surely stumble along the way, but was she ready? Was he pushing her too soon?

Her arms slid around him from behind as she laid her head on his back. They stood motionless surrounded by a chorus of grasshoppers until she kissed the back of his neck and walked around to face him.

“Matt, I’m sorry I took a beautiful moment and ruined it. Everything you just said to me was true and I’m sorry that I allowed my past to affect what we have right now.”

She touched the side of his face. “I panicked because my feelings for you are so real and intense, but you’re right, I don’t need to be afraid. I know there will be times that I’ll struggle and be tempted to let those negative thoughts in, but I’m hoping that you’ll still be there right beside me, encouraging me along the way.”

She flashed him her puppy dog eyes and he couldn’t resist. He pulled her into his arms. “Ava, of course I’ll stand alongside you. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to want me.”

“I love you, Matthew.”

He closed his eyes in relief and then opened them, smiling. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.”

“Can you humor me and say it again to me? I want to really enjoy it this time.”

He grabbed her around the waist and lifted her off her feet so they were eye level. “I love you.” Then he kissed her like it was the first time their lips had met.

Ava walked along the eight-foot table, doing a mental check list that every detail had been set for the abuse support group meeting. The aroma of spaghetti and garlic bread made her stomach rumble. The group had their meetings once a month at the church and a few women from the congregation volunteered to bring in dinner for everyone. They all had different gifts. Whether they spoke to the group, watched the kids, counseled, or brought in food, each service held importance.

Tonight’s meeting had been sparked by an idea Ava had at the last planning session. As ideas bounced around the room, Ava voiced that it would be useful for the women if they attended a meeting that touched on the side of the law enforcement. Most women in the group had already made steps to hold their abusers responsible for their actions. However, the women had started to invite other women that were caught in ruts and hadn’t yet broken free from their abusers. They needed support and encouragement as they teetered on the fence on what to do.

Ava’s idea came to a unanimous vote of yes, and she had the resources to make it happen. Tonight Matt and a fellow officer were coming to talk to the group. They wanted to encourage the women that the law was on their side by showing that they cared about their safety and wanted to help and to share what steps needed to be taken when pressing charges and how to file for a restraining order.

Her heart melted as she remembered the conversation she and Matt had had earlier in the week about which points needed to be highlighted and stressed. He wanted the women that came tonight to be as comfortable as possible.

Matt came up with the suggestion that he should bring a female officer with him, that it might help break the ice. That maybe the women in the group would respond better and feel more comfortable with a fellow woman in the room. He also proposed that he come in civilian clothes and not drive his squad car. It might make some of the woman nervous to see him in uniform and the squad car parked outside the church.

Just one more reason why she loved him. Wow. She loved him. Ava was still trying to get used to that fact. She caught herself smiling at the thought of him. Checking the wall clock, she scolded herself for not staying on course as she noticed that the group would be trickling in soon. Making her way toward the lobby to welcome the women, she met up with Matt and his fellow officer.

Ava wished she could run up to him and hug him like she wanted to, but they both agreed it would be best to keep all public affection at bay. “Ava, this is Officer Linda Caldwell. Linda, this is Ava.” The women shook hands.

“Hi, Linda. Thank you so much for coming.” Ava stood next to Matt while their arms brushed. It would have to make do.

“Once Matt told me about your group and what you wanted to be shared, he couldn’t keep me away. I think this is great. These women need all the help and support they can get.”

“Yes they do. If you follow me I can show you into the room where the meeting will be held.”

“Could you show me to the restroom first?” Linda asked.

“Oh sure.” Ava pointed toward the hallway. “Three doors down on your left.”

Ava turned back toward Matt, silently praying for the women that would be walking through the doors any minute. Praying that lives would be changed, revelations would be made, and the Lord would be seen. One thing was for sure, all of this put her past and present into perspective. These women were trying to get away from horrible men while Ava had been pushing away the best thing that had ever happened to her.

Matt’s voice broke into her thoughts. “What are you thinking about? You look a million miles away.”

“Just praying. My heart breaks for these women.”

“God can do great things in their lives. He can make beauty come from ashes.”

The entrance doors opened exposing the newly arrived guests while Linda returned from the bathroom. Matt motioned for Linda to follow him. “We can head into the room and get set up while you are greeting. Over in the fellowship room, right?”

“Yes. I’ll meet you there.”

Once Ava felt confident that everyone had arrived she made her way into the fellowship room, shocked to see all the tables full. It was great to see the old and new visitors mixed together. Kim and Tessa shared the table with Matt and Linda. Ava was glad that Kim made good on her promise to come. Plus, it was nice to see Tessa. She had been missing her so much since school had been out.

Ava filled her plate and made her way over to the table and sat down next to Tessa. After dinner Ava corralled all the kids and took them to the room they had set up for them while the meeting took place. This was Ava’s department, her way to give to the group. She and a few volunteers watched the kids to allow the mother’s the freedom to attend the meeting without any distractions.

She did no counseling with the kids. She would leave that up to the professionals. Her job was merely to spend time and play with the kids. If something came to her attention that needed to be addressed she would pass it along to the pastor.

She counted fifteen kids total. The age range spread out from toddlers to preteen, which made the activities hard to plan for the evening. They set up the room to have one side for the younger kids and the other side for the older. A television had been placed in the corner with a Wii set up and ready to be played. Someone in the church had donated it to the youth group and they kindly offered for the kids to use it during the meeting.

Ava laughed over the excitement the older boys had over it. Most of them would never be able to afford to get one. At least they would have a place to come and play one.

The evening progressed without a glitch until one boy became angry when he didn’t get his turn. Ava had been playing with a few toddlers on the floor and didn’t make it to over to the boys in time before a wrestling match broke out with fists flying.

Ava rushed over, trying to pull the boys apart while dodging any hits that lost their aim in the scuffle. The teenage girls who’d volunteered to help with the kids looked shocked, standing off to the side, mute with wide eyes. Having no other choice but to get help, she turned toward the girls, “Brittany, go get Pastor Rick!” The teenage girl turned and exited out into the hallway while the other girl went to console the younger children that got upset over the fight taking place.

Ava pried the boy on top off first and held him back while the other boy stood up, wiping the blood off the corner of his mouth.

Despite being flustered, Ava was able to keep her voice calm as she said, “Boys, this is not how you handle your anger. Hitting is not acceptable.”

The older elementary boy glared at her. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Maybe not, but I can remind you that we have rules here and expect you obey them.”

The younger boy that stood behind her crossed his arms. “Hitting is what you do to get people to listen to you.”

Ava let out a long sigh, realizing the challenge she stood up against and one she didn’t feel confident to handle. These boys had probably seen things she could never fathom. Sadness weighed on her heart to see their home life magnified through what just happened. Just more proof that if there wasn’t a stop to it now, the chances grew that they would grow up abusing others around them. The sins of the parents could easily fall from one generation to the next, an evil cycle that held no end in sight.

The pastor walked into the room with Brittany at his heels. “Ava, how can I help?”

“Sorry to bother you, Pastor Rick, we had a situation, but it seems to be under control now.”

Pastor Rick looked between the two boys and understood the underlining of her concern between the cut lip on one and the darkening black eye on the other. “I see. Well boys, it looks as if your faces need to be looked at. Why don’t you come with me and I’ll see if I can get you cleaned up.”

Remorse filled the boys’ faces as they followed the pastor. Ava was certain the situation would be handled. Pastor Rick had a skill of meeting people where they were and getting to the root of the problem. Ava had a few counseling sessions with him after Tim dumped her. She had firsthand experience of how he cared and wanted to help people.

Half an hour after the boys left, the meeting finished and the mothers came to get their children. Not having a lot of time to talk, she took a quick moment to ask what Kim thought of the meeting as she picked up Tessa. Her response came across positive and she said that she would be back next month. The newfound friends hugged before they departed. Ava played with Tessa’s pigtails as she promised Kim she would call her tomorrow.

Once all the kids had been picked up she headed to the fellowship hall to meet up with Matt and Linda to see how the meeting went. Hopefully it went better than her night. Linda sat at a table, deep in discussion with a woman while Matt kept a quiet stance in the corner, trying to stay out of sight, Ava assumed.

She came to stand beside him. “How did it go?”

“Good. I think Linda is making headway to convince this lady to leave her husband and stay with family until he can get the help he needs.” He looked down at her as he crossed his legs at the ankles and slid his hands into his pockets. “I’d ask how your night went, but Pastor Rick gave me a quick rundown.”

“Yeah, I could use a little detox.”

“How about some ice cream instead?”

“Sold.”

Love is a strange thing. It can make a normal life feel incredible and take someone from their lowest moment to their highest, and then back again, all in the blink of an eye. Love can make someone a better person or create a monster thriving on acceptance. It can make a person feel vulnerable and strong all at the same time. Love is free and yet full of worth. It can cloud judgment or give wisdom beyond years. Love can capture someone’s heart or break it into a million pieces.

Love and freedom were luxuries that Ava hadn’t experienced in a long time. She had begun to wonder if the road she had traveled had become so broken that she was doomed to a life entangled in lies and fear. But now she felt like a new woman, allowing herself to start breaking the bondage that weighed her down. Her healing may not be complete yet, but she could breathe in that scent of freedom that pushed up through the cracks.

She was in love.

God had taken her crushed heart and given her the capacity to not only love again, but to live. For two years she had just been walking through the motions, getting through each day. Now she had been given a second chance at love and living a life in His freedom.