A Rescued Heart(18)
Author: Natalie Replogle

The moment began to escalate and boundaries crumbled, setting them up for failure. Without warning Matt jumped off the couch. Breathing heavily, he put his hands up in surrender and then placed them on his head. “I can’t be like this with you, Ava. I have to go.”

He walked over to his bag, picked it up, and walked out the door. “Matt, don’t go … ,” she called out after him as the door clicked shut. Ava sat in disbelief of how the evening had taken such a bad turn and began to cry. Her tears dripped with shame. She knew better.

Matt warned her he struggled to keep his desires in check, but instead of being supportive, she had been weak and made the situation worse. Guilt consumed all her thoughts. Was he as mad at her as she was with herself? Would he call tonight or ignore her the rest of the week?

She stood and went to the bathroom to get a tissue and splash water on her face. What did she do next? Should she call him, or just give him the space he clearly needed? Her questions were answered when she returned to the living room and found Matt leaning against the door. “Matt …” She slowly walked up to him but kept a space between them, afraid to touch him.

“Ava, I’m so sorry. I should’ve never allowed myself to be so close to you when I knew I was physically vulnerable.” He cleared his throat. “And I shouldn’t have walked out on you like that. I needed space to clear my head, but I can only imagine how horrible I must have made you feel.” He stepped forward and clutched her hands in his. “Forgive me.”

She lowered her head in remorse. “I’m the one who needs to seek forgiveness. I tempted you and for that I’m deeply sorry.”

“Don’t you dare blame this on yourself! I’m accountable for my actions,” he said while pointing to his chest. “We’re fine, Ava. We know our limitations now. We just need to keep a tight rein on our cutoff point before we have to worry about crossing our boundaries.” He stroked the side of her face. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Okay, I’d better go. Thanks for tonight.” Turning toward the door he looked back over his shoulder. “Hey, the good news is I didn’t get food poisoning.”

Sarcasm came through rich in her laugh as the tension between them disappeared. “Well, the night isn’t over yet. Do you want me to run to the kitchen and whip something up?”

“I think I’ll pass, I’ve already had enough excitement for the night and I don’t need an unwanted surprise in an hour.”

“Very funny,” she said while scrunching up her nose in mockery and pushed him out the door. “You’ve just cost yourself a night of making me dinner, ‘oh great one in the kitchen’.” Ava smiled, enjoying the ease between them.

“You just wait, Ava Williams,” he whispered through the crack of the door. “I’ll soon have you eating out of my hands for the rest of our lives.” He winked and disappeared down the hallway.

The food court at the mall buzzed with commotion while Ava waited at the table for Julia to return with her food. Ava wanted Chinese while Jules preferred Subway. Splitting up to claim their chosen meal seemed to be the best plan. Earlier they had shopped at a couple stores in hopes of finding a few good deals they couldn’t live without. Ava needed some new clothes for the upcoming school year and also kept her eyes open for a new outfit to wear on her next date with Matt. The break came at a good time as her stomach growled, pleading for nourishment.

Julia sat her tray down, pulled out her seat and sat down. “I guess I should have gone with you, the line took forever.”

“Yeah, but you will be rewarded for your healthy choice. These egg rolls are just going to show themselves off on my thighs.” Ava took a huge bite, savoring every calorie.

“So ice cream later is out of the question?”

“When have I ever turned down ice cream?”

“True.”

“I guess I’ll just have to go and work out with Matt sometime this week. Darn.” She swirled her fork in the noodles trying her best not to get such a huge bite in order to avoid having to suck in the stray noodles left outside her mouth.

She took a bite.

Nope. Not possible.

“Thanks again for changing your plans with Matt tonight to hang out with me.” Jules opened her fat-free pretzels and popped one in.

“No problem. I’ve missed our quality girl time.” Since she began dating Matt her free time wasn’t as accessible and along with Julia’s sporadic hours at work they just couldn’t get their schedules to coincide.

“Matt wasn’t upset?”

“Not at all.” She had plans to hang out at Matt’s apartment tonight, but Jules had called this afternoon with her request. Matt kindly understood and mentioned that he might call Derek to see if he’d want to go down to the shooting range.

“Good.”

“So what’s up? You don’t seem like yourself.” Jules wasn’t a needy friend by any means. Ava had taken care of that role the last two years. When she seemed off on the phone, Ava knew Jules needed to be her first priority tonight.

“I guess I’m just struggling with feeling discontent, and to be honest, lonely.”

The fact that Jules didn’t have a husband yet surprised Ava, shocked was more like it. Jules walked with grace and dignity—an all-around beautiful woman, inside and out. She was outgoing and funny and kindness overflowed from her heart. Ava wiped off her lips from the juices that the noodles left while entering her mouth. Next time no Chinese. “What happened with Scott? I thought you guys were starting to move into a more serious relationship?”

Jules was a pediatric nurse at one of the hospitals in the city and for the past year she had been interested in a doctor that she worked alongside. He constantly flirted with her and they spent almost every weekend together. The last she’d heard, he had hinted towards something more permanent.

“He was serious about leading me on. I guess he was taking out one of the nurses from the third floor also.” Jules placed her chin in her palm. “I really liked him Ava.”

Ava cringed. Her friend was hurting and she didn’t know how to encourage her. Their roles had become reversed and she needed to step up to the plate. “Oh Jules, I’m so sorry. When did this happen?”

“A few days ago.” Jules caught on to Ava’s shock that she just found this out now. “I didn’t say anything before because I just needed some time to lick my wounds.” Jules pushed away her half eaten sandwich. “I feel like a fool. I can only image the talk that is going on behind my back at work.”

Ava understood what drama could unfold at work when people felt the need to gossip. It could be cruel and relentless. She could pick out a few people at her school that could make the day miserable if they so deemed. No one needed an audience while recovering from a broken heart.

She had only met Scott once when he attended Julia’s surprise birthday party back in March. He seems like a nice guy.

He now just made her hit list.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but it sounds like you are better off.” Ava admitted. Jules would have been honest with her. She was required to do the same. It was in their best friend hand book after all. “However, it doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Is that why you’ve been feeling discontent?”

“It started awhile ago. I’m just not sure if I want to stay on the pediatrics floor anymore. It’s taking an emotional toll on me and I think I just need a break. I love working with the kids, but it just doesn’t seem … enough. Now with what has happened with Scott, maybe now is the time to take the change that I need.”

Ava sipped on her diet coke while listening. Julia’s declaration came as a surprise. All she had ever talked about since high school surrounded becoming a pediatric nurse. She waited for her time to intervene. “I think you can do anything you put your mind to. If you feel the Lord drawing you into a different area of nursing, go for it. As long as you are in God’s will, that is where you need to be.”

“That’s just it. I’m not sure what God’s will is for my life. I’m so confused with where I am supposed to be, with my love life and my job. Do I stay with pediatrics or go along the lines of ER or a scrub nurse in the operating room. I think I’m ready for a new challenge or maybe that’s just the confusion talking.” She laughed at herself. “I guess I sound like Lucy.”

Her announcement did sound like Lucy’s characteristics. “Yes, but you would have to change jobs about five more times to make those comparisons valid.”

“Ugh, why does dating and life have to be so hard sometimes? I just wish I could find someone as perfect for me, as Matt is for you.”

He was perfect for her. She needed to be better at proclaiming to him that very fact. Ava reflected on her hard and painful journey to meeting Matt. Sometimes God had to take you through the dessert to reach the springs. As God’s children we are not called to live an easy life, only one that loves and honors God. “You will. Just remember that His timing is perfect.”

“You’re right.”

“I just want you to be happy, Jules. You deserve it.”

A child at the next table over started to scream and broke up their conversation. Depth wasn’t as personal when you had to yell at each other to be heard. They smiled at each other.

“Ok, enough of me being Debbie Downer. Let’s keep shopping. I could use some retail therapy.”

Ava snuggled up in her oversized plush chair, sipping her herbal tea while engrossed in yet another book that had sucked her in during her summer break. She had stayed up late last night reading, unable to put down the mystery novel. She was hooked.

This morning she slept in, did some much-needed cleaning in her apartment, and after lunch rewarded herself for her hard work by spending a few more quiet hours with her nose in the book. Hoping this time she would finally finish the book so her life could go back to normal again and not revolve around “who done it.”

Even though it was smoldering outside with a heat wave that hit earlier in the week, she found comfort sitting inside in her air-conditioned apartment swallowed up in a blanket. She rubbed her hand over the fleece material, wishing Matt sat beside her so she could soak up the warmth from his body heat.

The phone rang and for a brief moment Ava considered not answering, but on the chance it could be important, she tossed the blanket off and retrieved her cell phone from the counter.

The number displayed was Kim’s. She answered quickly. “Hey Kim, what’s up?”

“Hi, Ava, sorry to bother you, but do you have a second to talk?”

Ava frowned, wondering when Kim would ever realize that they were friends … and friends always made time for each other. She was never a bother. A smile spread across her lips, hoping Kim would feel her sincerity.

“Kim, I’ve got the rest of the day.”

Ava heard her breath exhale, relief oozing. “Okay, well, if you are sure …”

“I’m sure. What’s going on?”

Kim started slowly, words drawn apart, hesitating. “I just wanted you to know that early this morning I went down to the police station and dropped the charges for Ray. But I did file for a restraining order.”

Ava’s heart sank at the thought of Ray being free, roaming around the city as he pleased. While working with the abuse support group, a few women had done that in the past to hopefully soften up their abuser, and to show kindness, with the hope that it would be reciprocated.

Usually it worked, but in a few cases the women ended up going to a shelter for a while until the guy calmed down or moved on. Ava hoped for the best for Kim, but the sick feeling that gnawed in the pit of her stomach didn’t spread confidence on how it would play out.

Kim didn’t need to know the depth of her doom and gloom over the situation. “That was a good idea about the restraining order. Have you considered getting out of town for a while?”

She didn’t like to think about Kim and Tessa leaving, but it was important to be proactive. Kim would be better off to be overly cautious than to have to come up with a last-minute plan that put her on the defense.

Ava massaged her forehead with her fingertips, trying to figure out the best strategy of action. She needed to call Matt. He’d know what to do.

“I’ve been thinking about that. My sister and I have just recently mended our relationship, so that’s an option. I’m sure Stephanie wouldn’t mind some company. Until I finalize my plans, I’ve sent Tessa to her friend’s house for a couple days.”

“Great idea.” It pleased Ava to hear the steps Kim was willing to take to protect herself and Tessa. She couldn’t believe the changes Kim had made in the short time that Ray had been in jail, as if she could finally see clearly.

Ava checked the time. “Hey, why don’t I come and take you out for dinner? We can discuss this then.” It seemed like a better plan to work out the options face-to-face and most important, away from Kim’s house. Plus it would give her time to talk to Matt and get his opinion. He dealt with this on a weekly basis, he would have better insight on how to keep Kim and Tessa safe.

“Okay, that sounds good. I could use a little sunlight in my day.”

“Just let me get cleaned up and I’ll be over. Look for me in about half an hour.”

“Thanks, Ava.” Kim’s voice broke and she cleared her throat. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Kim that is what friends are for. I’ll see you soon.”

They exchanged their good-byes. Ava placed a call to Matt. He didn’t answer. She had to settle with leaving him a detailed message about the situation and asked him to call her.