Accidentally…Cimil? (Accidentally Yours #4.5)(19)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Why would I do such a horrible thing? Simple. It was a well-known fact that the queen was Narmer’s right hand and the first human he’d ever made into a vampire. When he became tired of ruling, he made her the figurehead of his “good” vampire kingdom. Yes, I’d been keeping tabs on Narmer. Point was, however, I hated her. Loathed her. Which meant I had to help her find true love. As for Philippe—well, he was pure evil. A sick bastard with zero respect for human life who never got over the fact that his brother Narmer outranked him in this life or the past. That meant I had to help him.

See how horribly confusing everything was for me? Like equaled hate. Hate equaled BFF. Gray equaled pink. Good, bad. Bad, good.

One word: crazy.

“What about that f**king general, Niccolo DiConti? He will never step aside quietly and allow us to ruin the army he has amassed.”

I sighed. Why did everyone doubt me? “Now, now, Philippe. You just leave him to me.” I patted him on the arm. “Mr. DiConti will be quite busy for the next three hundred years locked in my piggy bank.” I flicked my wrist. “Now. Off you go! World destruction.” I actually felt a little excited by how well my counterintuitive, evil plotting was heading for once that I couldn’t help but do a little “Ode to Wonderful Me” clap. Next, I planned to hook the Obscuros up with Team Scab (aka the Maaskab, aka Mitnal’s legacy of skanky priests). The challenge was getting two extremely untrustworthy factions to trust each other enough to work together. After all, that had been Mitnal’s original plan. He’d simply failed to anticipate that Narmer would kill him instead of fight for him. Idiot.

Philippe dipped his head. “As usual, your abilities astound me. I am in your debt, Cimil,” he said and then disappeared, sifting to his next appointment.

“Stop staring; you’re ruining the moment.” I turned around and saw Roberto standing in a dark corner of the room with a look of disgust.

“You’re sleeping with my brother?” he barked.

“Well, yeah. How else would I get him to do my evil bidding?” I lied. “Or get him to tell me where you’re staying so I could arrange to have your house filled with chickens while you slept?”

Roberto marched forward, seething. “You truly have no moral standards, do you?”

“Nope. By the way… what is that smell? Is that chicken poop?”

He smelled fine, but the look on his face was priceless. If only I could’ve been there to see his expression when he woke up to four hundred chickens using his house as their personal toilet.

He growled. “Very amusing, Cimil. But your childish pranks will not deter me.”

Just wait until he finds out that I had his cistern filled with holy water.

“If I win this little challenge of yours,” he continued, “you will never spread your legs for another man again.”

How crude! And dammit! I really like it when he speaks dirty.

“Not sure I could give up Philippe,” I said to fan the flames my little lie had created. “He’s full of so many dirty tricks.”

“Then I will have to kill him,” Roberto said coldly.

Good idea. He’s awful.

Wait. Where did he get off?

“Whoa there, RoboPharaoh. What’s with plotting the death of my lovers? I agreed to sleep with you. Once! That was it. And you said you only want me so that you can learn how to break the ‘curse.’ ”

“That is correct,” he grumbled.

“So why are you acting like the jealous boyfriend?”

“I do not know! But you will not! Touch! Another!” he roared.

“Who do you think you are? You can’t order me around!”

He pushed his tall body against mine. “I can do anything I like. I am the most powerful vampire in the world.”

I stood on my tiptoes and met his glare. “The stupidest vampire in the world maybe!”

“Stupid?” His eyes turned into orbs of black, and when that happened to a vampire, it meant one of three things: they were angry, horny, or hungry.

Well, bring it on! ’Cause when I’m done with him, he’s going to want his mummy!

“I’ve met dirt smarter than you,” I seethed.

“Bitch.”

“Asshole,” I replied.

“God, you’re sexy when you’re angry.”

“You read my mind,” I growled.

Roberto slammed me into the wall with his body. Plaster rained down on us, and the room shook as his mouth connected with my lips, his tongue lashing and thrusting against mine, his h*ps eager and demanding as the rest of him.

“Dammit, woman, you make me so f**king crazy,” he said in a deep, gravelly tone.

I tore at his shirt and dug my claws into his shoulders before raking them down his back. I wanted to scratch him and bite him and f**k him like a piece of meat.

“Aaah!” he bellowed as my nails left a trail of raw flesh.

“You like that, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

He grabbed my hair in the back and pulled hard, forcing me to stare up at him. “Yes!” His delicious, angry lips slammed into mine.

My lips stung from the impact, and my body felt like it would burst into wild, magnificent, scorching flames of anger and lust. “I hate you.”

“I hate you more.” He released his grip and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing him to angle his hard shaft at the throbbing bundle between my legs.

He pressed himself into me, his pace aggressive and savage, while we mauled each other with our mouths. I’d never felt anything so insanely carnal. I couldn’t stop my body from what it was doing—grabbing and touching and scratching him closer.

His h*ps moved in a frantic rhythm, my h*ps following in perfect synchronization, our bodies knowing exactly what to do, what the other wanted, and how to please the other down to the precise amount of pressure to apply. Yes, our minds were out of control, swimming in a sexual frenzy, feeding off each other’s anger, but our bodies worked as one, sprinting toward that sweet, sweet finish line.

His hot, wet tongue slid down the side of my neck, and I felt the scrape of his teeth. “I want to bite you, I want to taste you.”

He could have said he wanted to shave my head or wear my panties, and I would’ve agreed. The erotic tension was at its peak. Just a few more pushes and… “Anything, anything you want, just don’t…”

He thrust forward one more time, and my body combusted with shock wave after shock wave of orgasmic pulses. I couldn’t breathe or move a muscle. Tiny flickers of light danced across my vision, and my heart thumped wildly inside my chest. Oh my gods, that was so magnificent.