Accidentally…Cimil? (Accidentally Yours #4.5)(20)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“I cannot resist. I must taste you,” Roberto said. I suddenly felt the sharp prick of his fangs.

In that moment, my mind kicked in. What am I doing? “Get off me!” I pushed as hard as I could, releasing a burst of pain.

Roberto had not been expecting it because he flew across the room and landed with a hard thump against the opposite wall. Several paintings and a beveled mirror crashed to the floor. Oh, well, they were Philippe’s.

Stunned, Roberto shook his head. “Why did you do that?

“I was finished.” I shrugged and smiled.

He sifted in front of me, clearly unhappy. “Well, I am not.” He reached for the hem of my neckline, looking like he was about to tear my dress in two.

I held up my hand. “Back off, stalker. You haven’t even made it halfway through the Cimi challenge. And a deal is a deal.”

“But I—”

“Nope.” I crossed my arms. “Touch me and the deal is off.”

“You are evil and cruel.” He scowled.

“Prrrreetty much.” Gods, this was so much fun! I wanted to do a disco dance and chant that I’d gotten my fortune cookie and he hadn’t. “But knowing you, you’ll have a new woman in your bed before sundown. Oops. I forgot. You like them in threes. One to screw. One to kill. And one to drink from. Or is that two to kill and one to screw. So confusing.”

Unchecked rage simmered in his eyes, but he managed to take a step back. “What is my challenge today?”

“Today…” You’ve been extra naughty. What shall it be? What shall it be? “You will tattoo my face on your back.”

“Vampires cannot be tattooed. Our skin is far too tough for a needle to penetrate.”

I flicked my wrist. “No one said my challenges would be easy. Off you go! And don’t return until you’ve completed the task.” I turned away, covering my mouth.

He growled. “Until tomorrow.”

Gosh. This was getting super fun.

* * *

The next night, Roberto did not return for another task. Nor did he return the evening after. “I guess he gave up?” said Other-me.

I looked up from my book, The Art of Whore, written by that crazy vampire queen. She really made me feel better about myself.

“Pfff,” I grumbled. “Not likely. He’s a stubborn, arrogant fool.”

“Cimiiil,” Roberto growled from behind.

Right on cue! I looked at the grandfather clock in the corner. “A little late, aren’t we?”

“I had to sift all the way to India to find a man they call the Needle.”

The Needle? Hell, that sounded scary, even for me. I turned my back. “Good for you. But you’ve lost. The deal was one challenge every day. You’ve missed two days.”

Roberto ripped off his white linen shirt and turned around. “Look at it. Do you have any idea how painful this was?”

I turned and gasped. “You have a full portrait of me on your back… riding on Minky?”

I. Love. It. It was the finest work of art I’d ever seen. And adding Minky was most certainly an extra-special touch.

“It’s horrible,” I spouted. “My nose looks funny.” Again, I gave him my back and returned to my book, feigning disinterest.

Roberto made a weird little noise. I imagined it was the sound of a vampire about to detonate. “You said one challenge for each day. You never said I had to do them one at a time, one day at a time.”

“True.” I made a little shrug. This was far too fun to quit now. “I suppose you can have three challenges.”

Roberto stood tall. “I am ready.”

“Great. You will go out and buy me the finest villa Spain has to offer. Then you will go to the town square, proclaim your stupidity, and declare your undying love for me.”

A flicker of a grin touched his lips, as if I were ridiculous for believing these tasks would come close to challenging him. “Done.”

“Dressed as a na**d clown,” I added.

His mini-grin melted away.

“And,” I said, “after you’ve done that, you will donate all of your wealth to charity.”

“What?” he barked. “Are you mad? Do you have any idea, woman, how much money I have accumulated over four thousand seven hundred years?”

I turned my head away, fighting a smile. Vampires were notorious hoarders of wealth—like me! Taking away their money was like removing a limb.

“You do not have to do any of these things,” I pointed out. “You may quit at any time.”

I heard the sound of his teeth grinding away inside his jaw. “I do not know the meaning of the word quit.”

“Sure. Just like you didn’t quit us,” I mumbled under my breath. “Ass.”

“I did not quit us. You left!” he roared.

I popped up from the couch. “Left? Is that what you think, you moron? I didn’t leave. I died! That little f**ker Mitnal plucked out my heart and used it to save you! To make you!”

“You lie,” he growled.

I stomped my foot. “Lie? I fought for twelve months to return to you. I was eaten by a shark! A f**king shark! Then I had to steal a fishing boat. Three times! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find fishing boats with a monkey’s ass of a chance of crossing an ocean? Do you? Impossible! That’s why they all sank! I had to swim the last thousand miles across the freezing Atlantic because someone had taken my Minky, and there was no other way. But I didn’t care. I was worried sick that that bastard was doing something horrible to you!”

“Y-y-you didn’t leave me?” he stuttered.

I gave him a push as bitter memories flooded my mind. “No!”

He stepped back with cold eyes. “I see.”

“Do you? Do you see, Roberto?” I fumed. “Because if you did, you’d know that I would have faced banishment to save you.”

Other-me tsked in the background.

Well, to hell with her! Err… me! Whatever. I was doing the best I could, but everyone had their breaking point.

He turned for the door and then paused. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know. Mitnal said you’d left me, that you’d planned to have me turned into a monster all along. The gods’ revenge for my arrogance. I killed him for saying that.”

“Well, thank the Universe for small favors, but you’re a fool to have believed I’d work with Mitnal.”

“Am I? I know what you’ve been up to, Cimil. I know you taught Mitnal’s disciples to use their dark gifts. You created the Maaskab. And the Obscuros.” Yes. They were two of the world’s most evil forces. The Maaskab, the twisted, powerful disciples of Mitnal and masters of dark energy. And the Obscuros, vampires who believed that innocent humans were their personal treats.