Accidentally in Love with…a God?(Accidentally Yours #1)(69)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Yes, yes. You arrogant toad. Of course you do. “But, you’re the god of what, exactly?”

He stepped in closer, pressing his body against mine. I wanted to retch. “I am the God of Male Virility,” he said proudly.

Perfect. Lucky me. “You are going to kill me? Right?” Death wasn’t sounding so bad compared to the other possible outcomes running through my mind.

“That will be up to you.” He flashed a sinister smile.

Baboon. “I’m guessing there are strings attached to the living option, ones I won’t like.” Come on, I know you want to make a sinister chuckle, I thought. Wait for it, wait for it…

Sinister chuckle.

Yep.

“Oh, I promise,” he explained. “All of the women I’ve laid with have thoroughly enjoyed every second, even your great grandmother.”

Double-eeew. Was my great-grandfather propositioning me? “Why in the world would I sleep with you?”

“Aside from the fact that I can show you pleasures only found in dreams…”

My nightmares.

“We have come to the end of an important era.”

He so needed a new title. Perhaps, God of Medieval Debauchery? “You mean you’ve finally realized you’re a complete ass, and you’re going to stop killing innocent women?”

He frowned.

“Yes,” I continued. “That’s right. I heard all about your lovely Scabs picking off the ladies. That’s so classy, by the way, but why go through all that trouble to make Payals if your army of Scaby losers just murder them?”

“Only the women who prove incapable of carrying my seed are ‘picked off.’ The priests do so enjoy a good hunt.”

I really wanted to hurt this man—being—whatever. He was a waste of good air.

“But the others,” he rattled on, “the ones who have the good fortune to carry a child for me, they get to live and raise my offspring.”

Oh, yes. Good fortune, indeed. Murderous, evil prick! “So you take innocent, young women—virgins—hoping their first baby will be a female like me?”

He made a low, gravely laugh. “You’re right, but don’t undervalue the firstborn boys. Ahhh, my boys,” he said stoically, “I send them to become Maaskab. It was quite the upgrade for that little band of archaic Mayan witchdoctors. With my blood and leadership, they’ve become most powerful. Such fun.”

I’d been right about the Maaskab. They weren’t entirely human. Oh, Christ! I thought. Was my uncle in California a Maaskab? What would have happened if I’d gone to live with him?

Put it in your “Can’t Deal With It Now Pocket,” I thought. Boy, that thing had to be getting full.

Chaam leaned against the cold, moist wall and crossed his arms. “But, they’re sadly lacking in the strategic thinking department, thus the reason we recruit leaders like Tommaso. Quite easy to do with the right catalyst.”

Catalyst? “You mean you killed his poor family?” I asked.

“Yes, but that didn’t quite provide the result we wanted. Luckily, we’ve discovered another more effective way to gain people’s allegiance.”

Oh, goody. Evil confession time, I thought. I really, really am going to die. Because bad guys only spill their guts when they’re about to slit your throat. “Yes? Go on.”

Chaam paused and smiled. “Okay,” he said cheerfully. “I’m so proud of this little tidbit that I must share.” He clapped his hands.

I suddenly realized that for once, Guy was wrong. His brother wasn’t more arrogant, Chaam was simply bonkers.

“We’ve discovered a way to liquefy the black jade. We can inject it into any human. They’re consumed with a hunger for darkness, and they must feed it, or the jade starts to turn on them.”

“You mean, it creates an addiction to being bad?”

“It’s damned brilliant!” he replied. “The jade has so many uses.”

Poor, poor Tommaso. He’d been injected with foul, demonic heroine. Somewhere, deep down inside, I knew he didn’t want to hurt me.

“Personally,” Chaam added, “I use it to polish my teeth.” He smiled and showed me his pearly white smile. “See.”

Boy, he really was bonkers. And evil. But, he did have nice teeth.

Chaam continued, “However, I have to admit, the jade can’t do everything. Fuel my weapons, for one.”

“The little jars?” I asked.

He had the look of joyful madness in his eyes. “Giant jars, Emma! Those little ones were merely prototypes. We ended up using those to create traps in the cenotes, or to distract Cimil—she always gets in my hair. Nosy bitch. But no matter, now we have four colossal structures filled with seventy years worth of the most potent energy I could find.”

He explained in horrific detail how he had the Maaskab kidnap thousands of women. And, with the aid of the black jade, he’d slept with them, taken the female children once fully grown, and then coaxed the dark light into their bodies through various forms of torture. All for the purpose of extracting their light, their life force. Their bodies, being part deity, made them more powerful than any human, and their humanity made them mortal.

He was creating Payals for biofuel.

I wanted to vomit. He was beyond evil. And medieval. And he was the poster child for debauchery. He was every single nightmare I’d ever had rolled into one. The poor women. He probably lulled them into submission with his pheromones to impregnate them, only to later steal away their children and kill the girls. His own daughters. Sick. Sick. Sick.

“So you’re going to torture me so you can put my tainted god-juice in your giant jars? Then what?”

“Well, my dear, this is where you get to make a choice. My vessels of destruction are almost filled now, and I have all the Payals I need. Once I release the energy stored inside the structures, darkness will sweep across the world like a giant tidal wave of decay—devouring any human flesh it comes in contact with.”

Oh. Oh, no. This was bad. Way bad.

“Those who take refuge inside the jade mines will be perfectly safe, but the rest of mankind will perish. In fact, my boys are busy sealing the entrances to mineshafts now. So…will you join them or become apocalyptic fertilizer for my giant jars?”

“Sorry?” I was still trying to grasp the situation. End of my family and friends? End of humanity? Everyone on the face of the planet, except for Scabs?

“This last structure, my pyramid, is waiting for a good topping-off.” He made a dramatic wave of his hand. “You can choose: die or have a life with me.”