Accidentally…Over? (Accidentally Yours #5)(28)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

She gave it a moment of thought, but the answer wasn’t something one could answer in a ten-minute car ride. Without a therapist present. And possibly some chocolaty carbs, wine, bread, and cheese. “I’m not sure. I just know running is stupid. Won’t solve anything.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Please?” she pleaded. This plan was silly. He had to see that. And taking her away from everything she loved was even sillier.

“I suppose,” he grumbled, “I could have the men put out signs—codes only I would understand—so if another version of me were to come upon them, I’d know to turn back.”

Ashli smiled. “By ‘code,’ you mean Latin. Don’t you?”

“What the infernum, woman, do you have against the mother tongue of all romance languages?”

“Really? Are you that old, you don’t know?”

“Fine. It’s antiquated. I will grant you that. As for your request to return home, because of the severity of the situation, I will only agree on one condition.”

“Yes?” she asked.

“You must obey me. Without question.”

That was a very tall order. “I barely know you. I’m not even sure we are really having this conversation or that you exist.”

“Timothy.”

“Sir?” said the driver.

“Am I real?” Máax asked.

“Yes, sir. Although you are technically banished, and we should not be helping you or speaking to you.”

“But I explained the calamitous gravity of situation, and because you know who I am, you are helping me regardless,” Máax pointed out.

“Yes, sir.”

“And how do you know I can be trusted?” Máax asked.

“You are the God of Truth,” the driver said.

“Ah! There you have it, Ashli. Proof that I am real and the God of Truth.”

The God of Truth? Wow. Impressive. She happened to be a big fan of his work. Honesty was highly important. But still, the strangeness of it all was… well, strange!

She groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “But I barely know you.”

“Then we will get to know each other,” Máax said before telling Timothy to turn around and drive slowly on the shoulder.

But what if she died again? Would she dream about this very moment like she dreamed about those other visits he’d made? None of which had happened yet?

Infernum, this is so freaky. Oh, great! Now I’m speaking Latin.

“And as it just so happens,” Máax added, “I do not plan to let you out of my sight, so there will be plenty of time for talking.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “Timothy, please activate plan D.”

“Plan D?” Ashli asked. “What happened to C?”

“Plan C involved taking you to my private island in Greece. Though it is patrolled by Cimil’s unicorn and quite safe, I doubt that we could get you there in one piece.”

Unicorn? “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I do not kid. My first island was destroyed by my sister Cimil. This one isn’t as large as Atlantis, but it is still nice.”

Atlantis? That was real? “I meant the unicorn, but—Wait, if Atlantis was your island, doesn’t that make you… What was that Greek god’s name? The ocean god.” Mythology was not her best subject in college. Yes, lots of cobwebs in that part of her brain.

“Like the other deities, I am known by many names depending on the culture. However, I believe you are referring to Poseidon,” he replied dryly. “But I never carried a giant fork. What preposterousness.”

Ohmygod. I am not actually having this conversation.

“It was a crude version of a surfboard,” he added. “And I didn’t carry the damned thing around like a scepter or make oceans gush from the ground with it. I rode waves with it.”

A surfing, invisible god? “I have heard it all.”

“You have? Because I assure you, the Greeks’ version of me and my thirteen brothers and sisters holds no bearing on reality. It was far more insane. That whole na**d Olympics thing: Cimil’s handiwork.”

Okaaaay.

“Cimil?” Ashli asked.

“My sister,” he explained. “However, we are not related technically. Deities do not have parents, although I do consider her my family and often wonder why. She is quite insane. Means well, but cannot help trying to blow up the planet.”

Eeeesh. For the first time ever, Ashli was grateful for being an only child. On the other hand, it sounded kind of fun to have such a large family. With powers. And immortal. Trying to blow up the planet.

Okay. Maybe not.

“So if you don’t have parents how were you born?” she asked.

“We do not really know. Similar to humans, we don’t remember our births. We simply recall small fragments of our early years, perhaps as a child might. When we grew older, we learned more and more about who and what we were. But everything we know comes from thousands of years of trial and error. Including the fact that we are bound to the Universe, slated to serve humanity for eternity. Not that there will be an eternity if we don’t determine how to keep you alive.” He paused. “Are you certain you do not know what it is you are meant to do?”

“The only thing I know is that the cosmos hates me and wants me dead.”

“You mustn’t take it personally,” he said.

Nooo. Why in the world would she take that personally? “Well, lucky for me,” she said. “I’ve always tried to focus on being grateful for what I have.” And right now, she was grateful for a place to call home. A place filled with memories of her family and as good a place as any to die if that was going to be the case. She just wished that her death didn’t mean the end of the world, too. Not that she actually believed it would end.

Okay. Maybe someday. But in twenty years? All because she didn’t do something?

“No, woman, you are mistaken,” he said, his voice filled with deep conviction. “We fight every step of the godsdamned way, every godsdamned moment, for every godsdamned inch. We never give up. We never given in. Complacency is the devil if there was a devil. Which there is not. There’s only Cimil. And her unicorn. And her very powerful vampire ex-pharaoh mate who wouldn’t know a smile if it bit him on his cold immortal ass.”

“Did you just say ‘vampire’?”

“I am nodding.”

She was glad he had pointed that out. “Okay. Now I’ve heard everything.”