Accidentally…Over? (Accidentally Yours #5)(40)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Of course, what did he expect? The Uchben knew Máax had arrived at Ashli’s house with Ashli, which meant everyone knew everything. There were no secrets among the Uchben.

“I know he’s here,” one of them whispered. “I can smell his overbloated ego.”

“Coming from a vampire,” Máax said, “I find that remark marginally amusing.”

A devious smile flickered over Niccolo’s lips. “Ah, Máax. If it isn’t my favorite invisible deity.” Niccolo’s European accent tinged his comment with natural sarcasm. “Don’t you look well.”

“That joke is as saggy as your thousand-year-old Italian ass. By the way, Cimil’s favorite flea market just called and would like you to return their Armani knockoff.”

“This is Hugo Boss. My wife says his suits make my ass look centuries younger. Do you really think it looks old?” Niccolo turned, lifted his blazer, and showed Máax the back of his pants.

Oh, gods. He was serious. “What do you want, vampire?” Máax asked.

Niccolo’s long dark hair pulled into a ponytail contrasted with his luminescent eyes. Eyes that flickered between apple green and aquamarine like a godsdamned happy meter. Did he have to be so pleased about coming to take Máax away?

“You know very well I’m no longer a vampire; however, it’s no skin off my unfanged teeth if you prefer to call me that. I happen to like vampires very much.”

The story of how Niccolo ceased to be a vampire was a very, very long one—involved Cimil, say no more—but his wife and coruler, Helena, was a new vampire.

“I repeat, what do you want?” But Máax already suspected the miserable truth.

Niccolo straightened his black tie and then gave his two men a knowing nod that sent them outside. “You and I both know why I’m here; the gods, your brethren and my allies, are calling for your immediate incarceration. And from what I understand, you have a lot of explaining to do.”

“I’ll explain myself when I’m good and ready, Niccolo. In the meantime, tell my brothers and sisters to…” Oh, what is that expression Cimil uses? Ah! “… Suck it.”

Niccolo laughed. “I love these modern phrases. Suck it. Circle twerk. Ear boner. Carpe noctem.”

Máax cocked one brow, not that Niccolo noticed. “I see you’ve been spending excessive amounts of time on UrbanDictionary.com.” It was also one of his brethren’s favorite places to learn new human phrases.

“Life as an immortal”—Niccolo shrugged—“it’s a journey.”

“I’m glad you see it that way because I’m going to tell you to f**k off.” Máax needed to sort things out with Ashli. Hell, if he was lucky, they might even make up. He’d heard that making up produced the best sex.

Niccolo sighed. “I am taking you, Máax. And the girl. Deal with those apples.”

Máax shook his head. Niccolo’s use of colloquialisms was always a bit off. Why did he insist on trying to be cool?

Never mind that, man. Think. What are your options? He could take Ashli and run, but his brethren would eventually find him; the gods’ connections allowed them to sense each other’s presence unless they took measures to block it. Obviously, Máax had no powers so he’d more or less be a sitting duck.

He could fight Niccolo and the vampires, but without his powers, he could not stop the vampires from sifting Ashli or himself away. Basically, it was a no-win situation. That said, he did like the idea of cracking a few skulls.

A fight it is.

Máax punched Niccolo squarely in the jaw, and he went flying across the kitchen, smashing into the cupboards.

Niccolo quickly picked himself off the floor. “Oww. What the hell did you hit me for?” He rubbed his jaw and pouted. Yes, pouted. But in a manly ex-vampire sort of way.

“Like I said,” Máax explained cooly, “you’re not taking us. Tell my brethren I will come and answer for my actions when I’m ready.”

Niccolo’s two vampires sifted into the room, hissing for a fight.

“No!” Niccolo held up his hand. “This is between us two duds. Wait outside.”

“Dudes. It’s dudes,” Máax said.

“Whatevers.” Niccolo flew toward him, fist cocked, but Máax sidestepped. Niccolo crashed right into the kitchen table. Máax laughed, thinking it would take the large man a moment to rebound, but Niccolo zeroed right in on the sound of Máax’s voice and pounced.

Máax fell to the floor and a fist landed right on his cheekbone. His vision twinkled with tiny little stars.

“Son of a bitch.” Máax threw Niccolo off and sprang up. Niccolo, too, popped up off the floor and stood with fists ready for action.

Panting, Niccolo said, “I understand your position, Máax; however, I cannot neglect the fact that I have a mate and a daughter who will both cease to exist if the apocalypse isn’t derailed. So the sooner you come with me, the sooner we can all figure this out.”

Great. Now Máax felt like a veritable douche. “Niccolo, I sympathize, but I’m not leaving with you.”

“Then we will take the girl. I’m sure you’ll come on your own, then.”

Máax’s blood fizzed. “Don’t you f**king touch her.”

“We would never harm her, Máax, but come to your senses. The end grows nearer with every passing second, and if you’ve truly derailed our last hope for salvation—”

“Very well. I will come with you, but I want twenty-four hours.”

Niccolo scratched his chin, mulling.

“Otherwise,” Máax added, “I will continue fighting. And you have to ask yourself how many of your suits and men you’re willing to sacrifice for a mere one day of difference.”

Niccolo ran his hand over his dark hair and blew out a breath. “I can give you until tonight. Four hours. But that is the best I can do, Máax. Then we will take you to the gods and sort out this shizzle.”

Máax cringed. Someone really needed to keep this ex-vampire away from UD.

“Agreed,” Máax said. “Now, f**k off.”

Niccolo dipped his head—“Aloha, mi amigo”—and left out the back door.

Great. Now what? He had four hours to work things out with Ashli, which included coming clean about his lie. But if he didn’t set the stage properly, she would never understand, never forgive him.