Accidentally…Over? (Accidentally Yours #5)(46)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Máax turned off the shower and stepped out, dripping all over the floor. The faint outline of his face expressed some level of distress.

“I… I…” Máax rubbed his jaw.

“Máax! Sixty seconds,” that man Niccolo’s voice echoed from downstairs.

“Dammit,” Máax grumbled. “I’ll hold them off. See you downstairs. You’ll find new clothes and undergarments in the closet.”

Oh no. He wasn’t sneaking away without answering her questions. “Máax, don’t you dare leave without telling me—” She blinked, and he was gone. A trail of little puddles confirmed it.

Sixteen

After a quick shower and rummage through the “Ohmygod, is this really a closet?” closet, Ashli dressed in a long stretchy red dress, which was a little too tight for her taste, but a far better choice than the lederhosen or giant teddy bear costume she’d found (she definitely needed to ask Máax about that later), and went downstairs to the living room. She nearly tripped on the last step but caught herself on the railing.

There, four men, all incredibly large with pale skin and unusually dark eyes, wearing leather pants and slightly snug tees, huddled around that Niccolo man, quietly talking. They looked like the kind of guys who ate hornets’ nests for breakfast. Or maybe knives.

Despite the eighty-degree weather, Ashli shivered in her matching red sandals.

“Máax?” She pushed a few stray locks of wet curls from her eyes.

His voice projected from the stairs behind her. “I am here.”

She jumped. “I thought you were waiting down here.”

Silence.

“Did you just shrug?” she asked.

“Perhaps,” he replied coyly.

She rolled her eyes.

“I merely went to check on you,” he explained, “but found the show much too enticing to pass up. Who knew that watching a woman dress could be as sexy as watching her undress? Especially when she puts on a black satin thong and matching bra, handpicked by a deity.”

The men in the room all made throaty, hungry, animal-like sounds.

Ummm. Okaaaay.

She shook her head. “You and I are going to have a chat about boundaries. And by the way…” She leaned toward him and whispered, “Are those…” She could hardly bring herself to say the words.

One of the men, thinnish, tall, and handsome with short dark, messy hair and warm brown eyes, pointed to his ear. “We can hear you. Vampire super-hearing. And you must be the notorious Ashli. It is quite an honor.” He bowed. “Not every day that a woman convinces a deity to give the entire human race the middle finger. How did you convince Máax to do it?”

“What?” She turned toward Máax—well, to where he last stood, anyway. She really did need to put a bell on him. “What’s he talking about?” Shit. “And are they really vampires? Blood”—she swallowed—“drinkers?”

An invisible hand stroked her arm from the expected direction. “Nothing to fear, my love. These vampires are good, complete ass**les and childish in every way including their addiction to Netflix dramedies and Foosball, but good. They only dine on those with evil souls.”

What the heck was Netflix? “Good to know, Máax, but,” she whispered, “we need to talk. Why is that vampire calling me notorious and saying you gave everyone the bird? Why do I feel like we are being taken prisoner?”

“Máax,” said Niccolo, “we really must leave. So please get your human under control.”

Huh? Had he just spoken about her as if she were Máax’s pet? “Excuse me, but I don’t recall the ceremony making any of you scary big dudes my keeper. And let me remind you, you’re in my house. Though it doesn’t feel like my house. But I’m told it’s mine. So you can all climb a tall tree and go scratch yourselves because I’m not going anywhere until someone tells me what the hell is going on.”

Niccolo and his men simply stood there staring, grinning like giddy fools.

These good vampires kind of remind me of clowns with all that smiling. So creepy! “Okay. Out! All of you big, weird, smiling men, errr, vampires whatever-the-infernum, just get out.” Ashli shooed them toward the front door.

“Gentlemen, I’m feeling inexplicably generous; let’s give them a moment to talk.” Niccolo glanced at her and held up his finger. “A moment. Nothing more. I have the sudden urge to write a love poem for Helena before I get home, and I’m due in five minutes. I promised my daughter Matty I would be home in time for My Little Pony.”

Huh?

“Oh. Can I watch?” asked the vampire with the kind eyes.

“Sure, Sentin.” Niccolo shrugged and headed out the door. “Winx is on right after.”

The men, errr, vampires, followed Niccolo outside. “I really like that Ashli,” one of them said, “she kind of reminds me of Helena.”

“Yes,” Niccolo agreed. “I think Ashli will get along splendidly with the rest of the girls. And she smells nice, too. Kind of sweet.”

Sweet? Who’s he calling sweet? She slammed the door behind them and turned toward the loud sighing sound. “Máax? I’m going to give you one chance to come clean. But I warn you, if I find out you withheld anything, you’ll never get my trust back again.”

The ground rolled violently beneath their feet, and Ashli stumbled to the side. “Crap. What was that?”

“A sign. The end is near.”

Máax stared at Ashli, feeling as though his heart might crumble like a high-rise in the big one, to use an apropos metaphor; however, it wasn’t because of the earthquake, though that certainly sucked. It is the lie.

He wanted to ignore the uncomfortable feeling, but frankly, he’d never experienced anything quite like it. His soul felt tainted. How long would he stand it?

Think, man. You never intended to keep the truth from her, anyway. You merely lied to get her here, to save her life. She will understand. She will forgive you when she hears that you did it out of concern for her well-being. You had no other choice.

Máax took a stiff breath. “Ashli, the truth is—”

“That was earthquake number eight! Sorry, bro!” A blur of leather pants swooped past him and swiped Ashli away.

“Dammit, Sentin. You f**king idi—” He felt a cool hand clasp his arm.

One moment he stood in Ashli’s living room, ready to spill the godly beans, and the next, he stood inside the Uchben prison in the center of the main floor where his brethren yelled from their cells. Rather loudly, he might add. Some hurtled insults at each other, some toward the line of vampires standing guard alongside a rather large contingency of Uchben. That’s right, Uchben—the gods’ human allies, each one sworn to obey, serve, and protect humankind and the gods.