Accidentally…Over? (Accidentally Yours #5)(57)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Cimil’s attention then went back to the game, and she flicked two more times, threw up her arms, and began screaming, “Boom! Fishedo! Victory is ours! The gods finally win!”

Fate ran around the table and began hopping up and down with Cimil; the two looked like rabid prairie dogs.

Furious, the priest pounded his fist down on the table. “You cheated, Cimil! You and your tricks. You grabbed an extra ball when no one was looking.”

Cimil’s turquoise eyes lit up. “I beg your pardon. We won fair and square.”

“Like hell you did, Cimil,” said the woman in the clown suit. “We demand a rematch.”

“No. We won. Deal with it,” Fate howled.

The four broke out shouting, and Ashli noticed the crowd beginning to grow uneasy. Brutus’s men closed in on the fighting four; it looked like Cimil was about to punch the priest. But suddenly, the priest reached out and smacked Cimil across the face. The room fell into a horrified hush.

Ashli felt herself being tugged back. It was Máax pulling her away. “This is going to get ugly.”

That large, scary vampire dude that had been guarding Cimil’s prison cell stepped between Cimil and the priest. “No one touches my woman.”

“You call that lying, thieving, cheating whore a woman?”

“Did I just hear that priest call Cimil a whore?” Ashli whispered in disbelief.

“Yes,” Máax replied, “but he’s not really a priest. He’s an ex-priest and has a thing for her. Sour grapes.”

Well, sour grapes are about to get squashed into sour wine.

The vampire reached down and grabbed the man by his neck. Brutus’s men descended on the vampire quickly, trying to break the two up, but apparently the multitude of vampires in the room did not appreciate anyone touching Cimil’s man. The vampires grabbed Brutus’s soldiers and flung them across the room like tiny rag dolls. Apparently, the gods did not appreciate that one bit because they stepped in and attacked the vampires. It looked like the immortal version of a WWF match, bodies flying everywhere, fists moving so quickly she saw nothing but hazy streaks.

“Leave, Ashli. Run!” Máax commanded her.

Ashli was about to obey when she glanced down at her chest. “Well, it’s worth a try.” She grabbed for her whistle, but something large slammed into her body, sending her flying a good fifty feet. She landed on her back with a thud, the wind instantly sucked from her chest.

“I told you! Watch where you f**king sift! I’ll f**king tear your head off, Sentin!” she heard Máax roar.

Can’t breathe. Can’t breathe. Oh, gods, can’t breathe. Not only had the wind been knocked out of her, but she couldn’t seem to move. “Máax,” she managed to grind out in a pathetic little whimper. “Máaaaax.”

But the room had erupted into an all-out brawl. Bodies flew so quickly from one side of the room to the other that they looked more like shooting stars. Grunts and screams layered over the loud dance music.

She looked up and saw a man hovering over her. His long dreads hung around his face like a curtain of black snakes. At first, she thought it was that Andrus guy, but when the lights pulsed, she caught a glimpse of his face. The man’s eyes were bloody-red pits, and his face was covered in mud or something dark. Real blood? The smell of putrid, rotting flesh instantly hit her. It filled her lungs and triggered her gag reflex.

Holyrefereebunnyangels! Save me. Why had she thought that? Ashli screamed, but no one paid any attention.

The creature smiled and a drop of his saliva dribbled from his mouth, hitting her on the cheek.

Ew. Ew. Ew.

The large creature effortlessly plucked her from the floor by the shoulders as if she were a wet rag. “You are pretty. You will give me many strong babies.” The monster’s voice sounded like a strange symphony of tortured souls screaming in agony.

Whatthefuck?

The monster reached one large, crusty hand around her neck and began petting her cheek. “My little love strumpet.”

What? No! “Help!” Why was no one noticing?

Because they’re too darn busy fighting over a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos! Idiots!

Ashli struggled beneath the monster’s icy grip; meanwhile, he dragged her toward the door.

“No. Let me go!” She clawed at his fingers, but this only made him cackle with joy.

“First, I’m going to”—the monster made a sickly slurping sound between words—“eat your juicy little legs so you cannot run away.”

What? My legs? Dear Lord! She tried reaching for her whistle, but the monster ripped it away and threw it to the floor.

“You wiggle too much,” he grumbled. “Me no like wiggly humans. Bad for my back.” The monster thumped her over the head with something hard, and she fell to the floor. The twinkling ceiling lights momentarily faded to black, but when her vision rebounded, she wished it hadn’t. The monster held a large blackened machete. He raised the weapon into the air, and in that moment, knowing she was about to die, or at the very least lose her “juicy little legs,” the only thing she wanted was Máax. To see him one last time. Her gaze flashed to the mess of brawling immortals in search of her god, but what she found was simply too horrific to bear. Vampires were ripping out the Uchben’s throats. The gods were decapitating the vampires. Blood, so much blood.

The ground began to shake with violent tremors. Ten. Number ten.

“Máax…” she gasped as she felt the monster’s blade come down on her flesh.

The sound of explosions and screaming penetrated Ashli’s mind, kicking her awake and immediately sending her into a panic attack. Oh, shit! The monster! She sprang to her feet and swiveled on her heels, hands defensively extended.

It took several moments to realize her legs remained intact and she was nowhere near that thing. Instead, she was inside a giant movie theater. Empty, dark, and creepy as hell. The sound of screaming once again grabbed her attention. She glanced at the screen horrified by the violence playing out. It looked like a clip from Saving Private Ryan, only set in a modern city. New York perhaps? Dead bodies, bloody and dismembered, lay over heaps of rubble. Buildings crumbled atop people fleeing with small children from whatever chased them.

Ashli held her hands to her mouth. What was happening?

“Nice. Isn’t it?”

Ashli gasped.

A petite blonde wearing a referee outfit sat next to the spot where Ashli stood.

“Who the hell are you?”