Accidentally…Over? (Accidentally Yours #5)(6)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

She shrieked.

Máax stared down at the hysterical, screaming woman. He was about to offer a few calming words, such as “Shut the hell up,” but then something peculiar happened.

What the fuu…? He stumbled to the side but caught himself. He’d never experienced anything so unusual, so potent. But what was it? It didn’t hurt. No, quite the opposite. It felt like a sack of f**king wonderful dropped on his head.

Máax looked at the woman once more, and it hit him again.

Click.

He gasped. She was doing this to him? How? There was no logical explanation, other than…

He lost his train of thought. Gods, she is magnificent.

Holy Christ! He stepped back and stared at Ashli. Is that… Am I…? He was drooling! Like a hungry dog!

The odd, euphoric sensation hit him again, nearly tumbling him over. Nothing in his seventy thousand years of existence could help him articulate the sensation. It was as if the damned woman had jumped inside his body, soldered herself to every molecule of his light, and then sucked away any rational thought. The hollow pit in his chest, one he hadn’t known existed, felt instantly placated. That spot now felt warm and mushy. The center of gravity shifted from beneath his feet toward the direction of the woman and began pulling him to her like a shooting star.

Oh, shit. She’s my mate? He took two more steps back. No. No. Hell no! But how? And why now? He’d never asked the Universe for a mate. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to be tethered to some… some weak mortal woman, or any woman for that matter. Where was the godsdamned logic in that? For f**k sake, he was a lone wolf—answered to no one and nothing. And he was invisible, went where he liked when he liked. (For the time being, anyway.) After he went on trial for his recent multitude of offenses, he’d be entombed for a very, very, very… yes, very f**king long time! And now this, this… woman had messed it all up! Filii canis! Now he was truly going to suffer. He’d have something to miss!

Then another truth dawned on him. Cimil set me up! Again! He was going to kill her. And, gods f**king dammit, did the woman—this, this, Ashli—have to be so godsdamned hot?

Infernum. Her beauty was beyond that of any deity. Dark golden-brown skin, hair like black-licorice ribbons wild about her face and trailing down her back, and exotic eyes, turning up in the corners like a feline’s. And her lips… Her lips were plump and full, just the sort a man longs to feel sliding over every inch of his—

Get a hold of yourself, man! But holy saints she was hot. What was he going to do?

Why don’t you start by saving her, ass**le?

Right. First things first, though; he had to get her to stop screaming. “Ashli, I command you to stop screaming.”

Her beautiful hazel eyes widened, and she bolted toward the dusty, narrow road that ran along the beachfront.

Sanguine ad infernum! She’s running away? “Ashli, I command you to stop. I won’t hurt—” A large silver bus came out of nowhere. “No!”

Three

“Cimiiil,” Máax roared.

“Máax, honey.” Cimil pulled down the front of her dress and Roberto dropped his hands. “I didn’t expect to see you back so soon!” Cimil snorted. “Get it? See you? Damn, I’m funny.”

“Have you completed the task?” Roberto asked. “You’ve only been gone for one minute.”

Máax tried to speak, but his red-hot anger and desire to punch something got in the way.

Cimil waved her hands in the air. “Máax? You still here?”

Máax cleared the rage-coated lump in his throat. “Yeah. I’m here.”

“What’s wrong?” Cimil placed her palms against the glass.

What was wrong? What was wrong? She had the impudence to ask what was wrong? “You set me up, Cimil! That’s what’s f**king wrong!”

Cimil began chewing her index finger. “Why, Máax,” she said in an exaggerated southern belle accent, “I do believe you’re vexed. But I assure you, sir, I don’t have the slightest clue what’s gotten your man-fritters in a pickle.” She fanned her face.

“Don’t start your bullshit, Cimil. You knew who she was, didn’t you? And you sent me to her! What the sanguine ad infernum were you thinking?” he roared.

“I was thinking,” Cimil replied, “that the doom clock is ticking, and it’s about time you met your media naranja, the other half of your orange, the hop in your scotch, the ohhhhh in your oh, baby. And don’t you speak Latin to me! I hate Latin. It reminds me of the time a bunch of witches threw me in a pot and cooked me! With carrots and onions, no less. Can you believe that? Not everything tastes like chicken.”

“I’m going to kill you, Cimil.” What had she gotten him into?

A mate? A mate? He didn’t want a damned mate!

“Now, now, brother—”

“You know I face entombment. For eternity! If we survive this!”

Cimil sighed. “Máax, I’m sorry—not really—but the woman must be saved regardless, and you’re truly the only god for the job. Besides, who’s to say you wouldn’t have met her anyway? She is your destiny, your fate—the good kind. And you’re right, who’s to say we all get out of this apocalypse alive? Don’t you want to experience true love just once before your time is up?”

True love? Being mated wasn’t true love. It was being shackled against one’s will. It was cosmic brainwashing. “So I may act like a pathetic, lovesick idiot, unable to control his physical desires even when in public? No, thank you.”

“Don’t know what you’re missin’.” Cimil sang her words and then did her strange little jazz hands move. “It’s magical. Besides, if you really, really don’t want her, you can always have what’s-her-face erase Ashli from your memory.”

What’s-her-face was their sister, the Goddess of Forgetfulness. Actually, that was a pretty good idea.

Roberto pulled Cimil close. “You are so sexy when you’re thoughtful, my love. I am going to bone you until your head spins.” The two began mauling each other with hands and tongues.

Love was so degrading. Why would he want that?

“Guys,” Máax said.

They ignored him as they grunted, ground, moaned, and slurped. Máax felt his immortal skin crawl.

“Guys!” he yelled.

The two paused and sneered in his general direction.