Accidentally…Over? (Accidentally Yours #5)(74)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

She sank into her chair and covered her face. “He’s right, Kinich. I let him in. You were gone—forever, I thought—and Zac was there for me, for us.” She rubbed her stomach.

Kinich nodded, and she knew what he was thinking: it had been his own damned fault. He would never blame her, not given all that he had once done to push her away. “But that does not excuse using his powers on me,” Kinich said quietly. “I could have killed you, Penelope.”

She nodded. No, there was no excuse for that.

She wiped her eyes and looked up at Zac. “Do you have anything else to say?”

“Only that I will never stop loving you, Penelope. You are truly the most remarkable, sexy, passionate woman I’ve ever known.”

Kinich growled.

“And I truly regret hurting you,” he added. “But what I did pales in comparison to the pain Kinich caused you. Yet you forgave him. I only hope you’ll forgive me, too.”

She bobbed her head, not in agreement, but to acknowledge she’d heard him. “You may go back to your seat until it’s time for sentencing.”

Damn, this sucked. And it would only get harder.

She blew out a breath. “I call Cimil, the Goddess of the Underworld.”

It took one hour and forty-five minutes to read the charges against Cimil who, by the way, looked utterly pleased with herself. She grinned like a madwoman the entire time in her bright red tango dress that matched her bright red hair, loose and wild, just like her mind.

The charges ranged from heinous to the downright unbelievable. The unjust imprisonment of generations of clowns—she hated their unnatural state of constant happiness—shoplifting Love Boat DVDs, tag switching at garage sales, operating a taxi without a permit, unlawful unicorn racing, switching Red Hot candies for suppositories at a retirement home, waterboarding sea turtles (looking for Nessy), spraying “Fucktard” on several ancient Egyptian ruins (she’d been fighting with Roberto that day), creating vampires, including the evil ones, aiding the Maaskab, entrapping her brethren, the invention of SPAM, and… well, the extinction of the dinosaurs. Hundreds and thousands of deaths of innocent humans along with millions of creatures.

“What do you have to say for yourself, Cimil?”

The room waited with bated breath.

Cimil shrugged. “Touchdown, baby!”

That was not what Penelope had hoped for. “Really? Touchdown. That’s it?”

“What can I say? I’m like those guys who scrape roadkill from the highway or clean out Porta-Potties. I do what I gotta to. And I leave the world a better place. Less stinky. You know.”

“But Cimil, that’s not an excuse.” Penelope had hoped with all her soul that there was some sort of logical explanation. Because despite everything, she liked the batshit crazy goddess. She’d saved Penelope’s life once. Not to mention her mother’s.

Cimil smiled. “Of course it is. I am the only one powerful enough, smart enough, and with balls big enough to make the hard choices.”

Un-frigging-believable. “But people died, Cimil, suffered, because of you. You broke Chaam’s soul, used him to murder hundreds of women. You created vampires! And the Maaskab!”

Cimil raised her index finger in the air. “Correction! The Maaskab created vampires. One of those bastard priests plucked out my heart to save Roberto and make him immortal.”

The room gasped.

Cimil glowed. “Well, the heart grew back. And I’d like to point out that the priest didn’t create evil vampires; he created plain old vampires. Vampires have free will just like humans. Bad apples are the result of an individual’s choice. Or hanging with Minky. In any case, their creation was not a crime.”

“How about aiding the evil vampires and Maaskab?” Penelope argued.

“Ah! All true!” Cimil replied. “But look at the joy and life that rose from the ashes. The Maaskab brought us their dark magic, the black jade that has enabled us to physically be with humans, to have children, families! Now we have the Payals, the result of Chaam’s evil detour, including Emma, the love of our brother Votan’s life. As for vampires, they have become our friends, our lovers, and have served as a constant reminder to us all that change is possible. Every disaster, death, challenge, and tragedy we’ve faced has made us richer, braver, wiser. Because of this, some of us have been able to find eternal love. So had I not played my evil role, we would have gone mad and destroyed the planet.”

“I hope you understand,” said Kinich, “that when I say this, I mean it. Bullshit! You’ve already admitted that you can’t see the future. I think you got lucky. I think you sought to destroy us all, to terrorize us for your own amusement, and it was by the grace and mercy of the Universe that balance was restored, that good came out of it.”

Cimil swiped her hand through the air. “Oh, pashaaaw! Do you not see? That is my role. That’s who I am! My job is to burn it all down! Burn it to the ground. So the Universe can build something new. I am winter. I am Sam. I like green eggs and ham.”

Roberto moved to Cimil’s side. “She speaks the truth, though not about the green eggs, obviously. However, I have witnessed the invisible force that compels her to destroy, even when her intensions are pure. I watched her for thousands of years as she refused to play her role, tried to do the opposite of anything her instincts dictated. It only made things worse, moved us one step closer toward annihilation.”

“I don’t understand. How do you know all of this?” Penelope asked.

Cimil took an accomplished breath. “The dead exist in a place beyond the confines of time. You all came to me from the future—one that no longer exists—but you, me… everyone was dead. My own self came to me and has been my constant companion for thousands of years, guiding me, telling how things ended so that I could try to change course. Apparently, that particular version of me was Roberto-less, extremely naughty, and did end the world. Of course, she saw the error of her ways—a testament to my good-hearted nature. She came to help me, put me on another path.”

“Is she here now?” Penelope asked.

“No. She’s been gone since the party,” Cimil said. “But it took me finding my true calling. I was not born to create harmony or peace, I’m much better at creating havoc. Which, ironically, creates harmony and peace. Damned. I do sound batshit crazy.”

“Slightly. Are you done?” Penelope said.