Allegiance (Causal Enchantment #3)(37)
Author: K.A. Tucker

But Caden wasn’t speaking. Dread tore away at my insides. This is it. He’s going to tell me he hates my guts. Or… I ran into the wall as I took a step back, feeling my eyes widen in sudden alarm. He was a vampire and he was angry and jealous. I had already experienced an angry, jealous vampire earlier. She tried to kill me. And now I was in a dark, hidden passage with another one …

My hands trembled, my heart pounded in terror. Was Caden about to kill me?

There was a moment’s pause where I couldn’t find a single appropriate word, fear swallowing me whole. Then too many words started tumbling out all at once. “Nothing happened between Julian and me! I swear it. I—”

My words died with a hard swallow as his hands found their place on my shoulders, pinning me against the wall. His mouth trailed lightly over my cheek, my ear, down to my neck, setting fire to my body. Speak, Caden! Say something! Please! But he remained silent. Not a word. It was the most unbearable form of torture.

And in that torture, my spirit, my resolve, my everything broke. “It’s okay, Caden. It’s probably for the best. I’ll be dead in a few days, anyway,” I sobbed, hot tears streaming down my cheeks, a flood of angst and heartache splintering the dam that had kept me together up until now. “Just know that I tried my best to do the right thing. But there’s no way. Someone always gets hurt. I’m so sorry it was you this time. I still lo—”

Caden’s mouth suddenly covered mine, ending all words, all thought. All ability to breathe. Pressing his body against mine, the level of self-control I had come to know about Caden disintegrated, his lips consuming mine with a new level of hunger. Not even my injured jaw mattered anymore. Caden was what I wanted. This was what I’d wished for. And this was probably the last time I’d ever have him.

Taking pleasure in the taste of his lips, I let my hands wander over his chest to his arms, memorizing every ridge, every muscle. Sliding up to his shoulders, my fingertips pressed into the deep ridges of his collarbone. With a groan, his fingers began to snake through my hair until they were tangled up near my scalp. Clenching his fists, causing a small bite of pain, his mouth slid to my neck. I let my head fall back, gasping with abandon, sinking further and further into Caden’s passion, drowning in him.

“Take me away from here,” I pleaded hoarsely. And suddenly I was cradled in Caden’s arms and we were moving. Running in darkness, running to freedom, away from Wraith, away from Bishop. Away, together. I burrowed my face in his chest, relishing the fleeting moment. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was dangerous, and yet it was the perfect last wish granted before I fully morphed. And died.

Biting cold seized my body as we burst out of the secret passage and into daylight. Through the blizzard conditions, up and down hills, with me in his arms as if I weighed nothing, Caden continued running at that impossible speed that only his kind could manage. I didn’t care where he was taking me. I didn’t care about the cold. I buried my face in his soft sweater, inhaling his clean musky smell. Bliss.

Abruptly, the harsh wind vanished, replaced by a smoky aroma and a crackling fire. Caden lowered me down onto a cushion of blankets and furs. With arms on either side of my head, he hovered over me, gazing down at me with those intense jade irises that I wanted to bind myself to forever. I had no idea where we were. I didn’t care, my eyes marveling over this being in front of me. My body trembled beneath him. I reached a tentative hand up to trace the line of his jaw. Quick, raspy breaths escaped my parted lips, creating a cloud in the still frigid air.

“You were worth waiting seven hundred years for,” he whispered, his words unraveling my last shred of self-control.

***

A faded, timeworn glass pane revealed the horrendous winter scene outside. I shuddered with the sight, quickly pushing it aside in favor of sheer ecstasy. Enfolded in countless blankets, reveling in Caden’s arms, my cheek resting against his bare chest, I let my eyes roam through the small building for the first time. “What is this place?”

“Looks like an outpost on the back of the property,” Caden answered. “I found it the other day. They probably used it for hunting. I don’t think anyone’s stepped inside here for fifty years.”

I could see what he meant. A hovel of wood planks, the shack’s roof was caving in and riddled with holes, allowing enough snow through to form a thin layer over three quarters of the space. Aside from walls to buffer the wind, a simple woodstove in one corner provided the only comfort. Without it, we may as well be laying outside in the snow bank.

“They won’t think to look out here for a while,” he whispered, his hand smoothing over my forehead.

I shifted forward so we were chest to chest and stared down at his beautiful face, adoration swelling inside me. And yet sadness too. The corners of his eyes pulled downward and underneath them was slightly purplish. Weariness crept into his features. I’d never seen Caden look worn out before.

“I’m so sorry that I put you through all that, Caden,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut before a fresh batch of tears spilled out. I didn’t want to cry. Not now. Not after …

“Hush,” Caden lifted his head enough to plant the gentlest kiss on the corner of my mouth. When he lay back down, his mouth twitched into a smile. “So you let me believe that you guys—”

“I’m sorry!” I cried, burying my face in shame. “I didn’t know what else to do!”

His arms enclosed around my naked back, pulling my face into the crook of his neck. “I would have done the same thing, Eve.”

“Really? Why?”

He shrugged. “There was no other way to explain why you seemed so guilty and you couldn’t tell any of us without risk to your friend. I get it, Eve …” His fingers traced circles over my shoulders and down my spine. “You’ve gotten pretty good at lying, you know.” My stomach churned, suddenly nauseated. But then strong hands slid down to sit on my thighs, instantly sparking renewed excitement. “You’ll make a good vamp when Sofie figures this all out.”

And out of nowhere, a heavy cloud obscured my happiness. Nausea. Elation. Despair. My emotions, bound to a yo-yo.

“I wouldn’t hold out hope,” I muttered.

“I have to,” he whispered, lifting his hands to caress my cheek. “I can’t last without you. I don’t want to …”

I pressed my ear against his heart, dreaming about what it sounded like when Caden had been human. Solid and strong, like he was.

A hand ruffled my hair. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I don’t want to spoil this for you.” He kissed the top of my head. We lay in silence for a long moment as I luxuriated in the feel of my skin against his.

“Nice boots,” he said out of the blue.

I glanced over to my clothes, strewn across the floor. “A gift from Amelie. She put them under the tree before she tried to kill me …”

“Hmm … maybe you should put them on. Now.”

I couldn’t stop the whine from creeping into my voice. “I don’t want to go back there yet.”

“We don’t have to just yet …”

“Well, then …” I lifted my head to look at him. “Why do you want me dressed?” A tiny but fierce spark of insecurity grabbed hold.

Flames danced in his pupils. “I don’t want you dressed. I just want you to put your boots on.”

“Oh!” Heat exploded in my cheeks. “Well …” Two could play this game. Taking a deep breath, casting away all timidity, I stretched out to grab one, goosebumps instantly flaring over my entire body from the chill. Sliding my hand inside the boot’s inner pocket, I pulled out the dagger.

“They’re perfect for hiding things.” I held the knife to Caden’s neck in a teasing way. “Put out or else.”

With a throaty chuckle, he leaned in, letting the blade push into the tender skin of his neck. My hand recoiled, my face marred with horror. That earned a bellow of laughter. “I’m definitely questioning my choice in Christmas gifts now,” he said, peeling my fingers from the handle. He pulled me back down against him forcefully.

“I love you,” I blurted out and then realized it was the first time I’d ever said those words to him out loud. I had meant to a thousand times and yet …

Now, though, it was time.

I heard the sound of my dagger clatter against the floor as he tossed it away. His hands gently cupped the sides of my face as he lowered my lips to his, our mouths finding each other, as if they were a matched set. “So …,” he murmured, suddenly somber, “about that demand.”

***

“Wraith is going to freak out when he realizes you’re not in the bathroom,” Caden stated, his fingers resting on the small of my back. I felt his Adam’s apple bob against my forehead as he swallowed.

“I don’t care,” I grumbled childishly.

“You will care when he’s handing you your toilet paper from now on. And it’s going to be hard to explain to Bishop why I needed to sneak you away.”

Too quickly, back to reality. I swallowed my sadness. “What are you going to tell him?”

Caden heaved a sigh of frustration. “I don’t know, Evie. This is so messed up. He’s my best friend and I want to put him through a wall every time he looks at you. Things are getting so damn compli—”

Suddenly, Caden’s body went rigid.

I knew before he told me. He rolled off the blankets and was pulling his jeans on before I could register his movements. “Get dressed. Quickly,” he ordered, yanking on his shirt.

The moment was gone. Our brief, intimate time together—incredible and surreal—dissolved as my snare tightened. I would do anything, give anything, swear anything, to freeze time for another hour so I could rest on Caden’s broad chest and listen to his voice lull me into false safety.

I was up in a heartbeat, resentfully yanking my sweater over my head, not wanting Wraith to find me lying naked in a pile of blankets and animal pelts. Or Bishop … That familiar gnawing of guilt attacked my insides with renewed strength. Seeing me here with Caden would send Bishop spiraling back to that dark world of misery and pain, tarnishing his false memories of our make-believe relationship.

But then I’d be free from another lie. Suddenly, selfishly, a part of me ached for Bishop to walk through that door. This whole nightmare circus would be over and I could go back to being with Caden again. Until I killed him …

Caden swept up the suspicious mess of blankets and threw them into a corner behind the wood stove. I barely had the zipper to my jeans pulled up before the door splintered open, bringing with it a gust of wind and snow. And Wraith. Soulless blue orbs rolled over me—calm, unperturbed, void of all emotion—so inhuman. They locked on Caden and I could almost see the order register in his head. Enemy. Attack. Kill. Behind Wraith, four wolves and Max watched curiously. I briefly wondered what they thought of this. Then I realized I didn’t care.

My demon guardian began closing the gap between him and Caden, arm outstretched, his long fingers stretching forward like deadly tentacles. I dove in between them and slapped his hand away.

“I waited for you by the bathroom,” he stated with what might have been a glare, if his normal look could be any more sinister.

“Sorry,” I grumbled, peeking over his shoulder in search of Bishop. When I didn’t see him, my guilty conscience swelled with relief.

“I waited and then realized that you were not in the bathroom anymore.” He stopped talking, waiting. Waiting for what? What could I say? Apologies meant nothing. And was I sorry? No. Not for a single second would I feel sorry.

“There are a million other bathrooms you could’ve used. You didn’t have to wait for mine,” I offered with a slap-worthy smirk.

“I do not require the use of restrooms,” Wraith explained in all seriousness, not getting the sarcasm. I shook my head with annoyance.

Max finally sauntered past Wraith into the outpost, the floorboards creaking under his paws. Some of us aren’t dead idiots, you know … you can’t just take off like that! Do you know how close Wraith was to killing every single one of us in that place, looking for you? Unlike Wraith’s monotonous tone, Max was perceptibly upset. Guilt tightened around my already fragile heart. I knew Wraith would feel nothing beyond his call of duty. I hadn’t thought of Max and the others. I thought of no one but myself. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

No—no! I hadn’t just “taken off.” This wasn’t just a whim. This was my life. Caden was my life and all of these lies were suffocating me! I quashed the guilt with a bolt of anger, gritting my teeth defiantly.

“Where’s Bishop?” Caden asked. “I’m surprised he’s not with you.”

Gone, Max answered.

The word screamed with wrongness. “What do you mean gone, Max?” My voice cracked and suddenly all kinds of thoughts whirled, making me clutch my stomach in panic. Had he seen us? Had he figured it out? I felt the blood seep from my face and I had to take a step back to lean on Caden.