Always Remember (Memories #2)(43)
Author: Emma Hart

I lean over and wrap an arm around her shoulders, letting her rest her head against me instead. She sniffs a little, and I squeeze her. “He’s lucky to have you, y’know. And I’m not just saying that ‘cause I’m your brother. He’s lucky he has someone that loves him as much as you do.”

“And to think of the damn fight she put up!” Jen shakes her head. “I thought I was gonna have to lock them in broom cupboard somewhere until she finally gave in and pulled down her panties for him.”

I roll my eyes, but her words elicit a half-laugh, half-sob from Lexy.

“You would have, too,” she mutters in response. “I didn’t think he’d come back to London with us. I still can’t believe he has sometimes.”

“Which is why sitting here sulking at us isn’t helping,” Jen sings. I glance at her, knowing what she’s thinking.

“Jen-” I warn.

She holds her hand up. “You need to go and tell him you want to be there.”

“He told me not to come over after classes. Which is why I’m here. And not there.” She sighs again.

Jen grins and stands up.

“What are you doing?” I look up at her.

“I’m going to see Alec.” She shrugs a shoulder. “Hey. Don’t look at me like that!”

“I’m not looking at you like anything, babe.” I grab her hand and tug her closer to me. “But I don’t think you should go if he wants to be alone. You know what Alec is like-”

“Exactamundoooo,” she sings. “I’ve known him all my life. Besides, he didn’t say I couldn’t go over.” She glances at Lexy and winks. “So don’t worry, Samuel.”

She bends down and kisses me quickly, skipping off towards the house.

“Uh, Jen?” Lexy calls. “How are you getting there?”

“Good point,” I mumble, turning my head round. “How are you getting there?”

Jen pauses at the doors. She digs her hand into her pocket and turns slowly, a grin spreading across her face. My keys jingle from her fingers. “I’m borrowing your car, Sam, darling.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to ask if you want to borrow something,” I tell her, smirking slightly.

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “Please may I borrow your car to go and see Alec, your almost definite future brother-in-law, Samuel, darling?” she asks in a sweet tone and batters her eyelashes.

Lexy giggles into her hand, sitting up, and I can’t help but laugh. I lean over the back of my chair.

“What’s in it for me?” I waggle my eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m not spilling all my secrets to you!” Jen winks and runs into the house before I can respond.

“Bitch,” I grumble, sitting down.

“It’s why we all love her.” Lexy smiles at me, reaching for her drink.

My lips curl up at one side, and I look out at the garden. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

JEN

I rap my knuckles against Alec’s door loudly. He doesn’t answer, so I knock again. Even louder.

Still no answer.

“Alec Johnson you get your mopey ass to this door right this second!” I yell through his letterbox. “I mean it.”

“I’m not in,” he calls back.

“Nice try, dumbass. Open the damn door before I open it myself!”

“It’s unlocked.”

I try the handle and the door swings open. Huh. Maybe I should have tried that first…

I walk into his flat, and he’s lying on the sofa in casual clothes. I raise an eyebrow when I see he’s watching Antique Roadshow.

“Any reason you’re watching this crap?” I ask.

“I’m not watching it. It’s just there,” he says dully.

I huff and stomp across the room, pressing the off button on his television. I turn, my eyes locking onto his, and walk towards him. I grab his arms and pull him up, grunting.

“Jesus freaking Christ, Alec, what are you made of? Granite?” I poke his arm. “Yep, that’s damn granite right there.”

He sighs and pushes himself up. “What do you want, Jen?”

“I’ve come to see how you are, bringing with me a bright rosy smile.” I tilt my head to the side and give him my cheesiest smile.

“Nice try,” he mutters. “Didn’t Lexy tell you I want to be left alone today?”

“Of course she did – but since when I did I listen to a single word you said?” I scoff.

“Fair point. But why are you here?”

“I’m here because your ass is droopier than Droopy Dog himself.”

“You do know what day it is, right?” His eyes slide to mine slowly, and there’s raw pain there. I’d bet anything memories are swirling behind them, taking over his mind just for today.

“I know.” I sit next to him on the sofa and hug my knees to my chest, resting my head on them so I can look at him. “But that doesn’t mean you have to be alone. He wouldn’t want you to be alone in your pain.”

Alec shakes his head. “He wouldn’t have wanted a lot of things I’ve done since he died. I still did them. This is my one concession.”

“Even if it hurts others around you? Because there are people that want to be here today, specifically the person that is the reason you’re in London. The person that made you change. Pushing her away won’t stop it hurting, Alec. Pushing everyone away today won’t stop that pain.” He closes his eyes for a brief moment. “I’m not saying you can’t feel, that you can’t hurt, because you can. Of course you can. You lost more than your father. You lost your best friend, too, and while we can’t understand that, we can still be here. Sitting locked up in this flat isn’t going to make you feel better.”

“You’re right, Jen, You can’t understand how much it hurts to lose him. And I hope you never have to understand it.”

“But we will, one day,” I remind him softly. “And when that day comes I know you’ll be the person first in line to comfort us. Just let us be here. I knew your Dad, too – remember? He’s the reason I don’t surf. Do you not remember him putting me on a surfboard age eight and shoving me out to sea because I refused to learn, hmm?”

His lips twitch a little. “You floated right to the rocks and climbed into them to hide. We all went crazy looking for you, until he realised what you’d done. Yeah. I remember.”