Bad Romeo (Starcrossed #1)(80)
Author: Leisa Rayven

I tense and try to move away, but he grabs my shoulders and holds me still. “Cassie, stop. Why is this freaking you out? No offense, but you didn’t seem too concerned last night when we nearly defiled your hallway.”

“For a start, what we did in my hallway was between you and me…”

“And Mr. Lipman.”

“… not splashed all over every tabloid in the city!”

I push on his chest, and he steps back to give me the space I need to breathe. His face is still aggravatingly serene, and I hate that he’s not joining me in my outrage.

“Since when do you care what people think?” he says. “There’s no hiding our onstage chemistry. Who gives a shit if they think we’re doing it offstage, too? For all they know, I’m actually fucking you during the sex scene.”

He doesn’t get it, and it’s because I’m not explaining myself clearly. Explaining it will hurt him. And yet part of me is totally okay with that.

“Ethan, for everyone who knows us … who knows our history … I’m going to seem like the biggest idiot in the world for letting you in again, and the kicker is, they’re probably right. They know how devastated I was when you left, and now I’m making out with you like nothing happened? How stupid must I be?”

That stops him short. The muscles in his jaw work overtime. “Cassie, I’ve worked really hard to be in a position to even think about trying to fix things with you. If I thought, even for a second, that I could possibly hurt you again, I wouldn’t be here. Can’t you just trust me on that?”

I shake my head. “No. And that’s the problem here. I don’t trust you, and I don’t know that I ever will again. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m always going to be waiting for the other shoe to drop. For you to get that dead, faraway look in your eyes and run. How can we possibly get back together knowing that?”

His gaze turns steely. “Knowing how we feel about each other … how we’ve always felt about each other … how can we not? Don’t even try to tell me you’ll ever love someone as much as you love me, because as arrogant as it is to say, that’s bullshit. And I feel the same way about you. Everyone else is just going to be second best for us. Don’t you get that?”

I take a deep breath, heart hammering.

We’re charging ahead in a rocket car, and I have no idea if we’ll end up in paradise or smashed into a tree.

History would suggest the tree.

“Maybe we should just … step back,” I say. “Get through opening night, then … I don’t know. Reassess.”

He laughs, short and scoffing. “Reassess. Right.” He runs his hand through his hair.

“Ethan, reporters can insinuate whatever the hell they like, but when they ask if we’re a couple, I’m going to tell them no, and it’s going to be the truth.”

I see a flicker of pain in his eyes, but he’s still not angry. I want to scream in frustration, because that statement should have sent him storming away in a fit of rage. Instead, he’s staring at me with an intensity that curls my toes. He moves toward me and puts his hand on the wall next to my head before leaning down until our noses are almost touching.

“Cassie, us agreeing to take a step back is totally different than you pushing me away, which is what’s going on here. Let me save you a lot of effort by telling you that you can’t get rid of me that easily. I can’t live without you, and more importantly, I don’t want to. So you go ahead and freak out all you want. I’ll still be here when you’re done. Understand?”

He stares at me until I nod to acknowledge what he’s said. Then he looks at me for another few knee-buckling seconds before saying, “Good.”

With that, he walks away and disappears back inside the theater.

Later that day, we do a series of press interviews in which we both deny being romantically involved. Based on the reactions of the interviewers, it’s clear no one believes us.

SEVENTEEN

SICK & TIRED

Six Years Earlier
Westchester New York
The Grove

I sigh and turn over in bed. Again.

And again.

And again.

I look at the clock: 1:52 a.m.

Dammit.

I grab my phone off the nightstand and check it.

Fully charged. No missed calls. No messages.

I don’t know why I’m so surprised. Did I really think my little speech in the rain was going to wash away all of his insecurities? Even I’m not that naive.

And yet, here I am at two o’clock in the morning, hurt that he hasn’t called or texted.

I dump my phone back on the nightstand, then turn over and shut my eyes.

Just stop thinking about him. If he comes around, he comes around. If he doesn’t …

Well, if he doesn’t …

I pull my legs up to my chest to try to suppress the ache that’s growing there.

If he doesn’t … life will go on. I’ll be okay.

I’ll be okay.

I lie in the darkness repeating that same phrase over and over again, and even when sleep eventually claims me hours later, I still don’t believe it.

“Wow, you look like crap,” Ruby says as I shuffle into the kitchen.

“Thank you.”

“He didn’t call, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Idiot.”

“Yep.”

I plunk myself down at the kitchen table as Ruby places a plate of grayish scrambled eggs in front of me.

I look at them dubiously.

“Don’t start with me,” she says. “Even I can cook eggs.”

“Really?”

“Dunno. Never done it before. Still, I’m sure they’re delicious.”

I scoop some into my mouth as she opens the fridge. I almost gag. I’m not sure how someone can screw up eggs so badly, but Ruby has managed it.

“Good?” she asks over her shoulder.

“Awesome,” I say with a full mouth. “You should have some.” Why should I be the only one subjected to this torture?

“You going to call him?” she asks as she pours me some juice.

“Nope.”

“Good girl. You’ve done all you can. Let him come to you.”

I swallow thickly around the eggs and my paranoia. “And if he doesn’t? Come to me, I mean.”

“He will.”

“But what if he doesn’t?

“He totally will.”

“Ruby, dammit, what if he doesn’t?”