Bad Romeo (Starcrossed #1)(98)
Author: Leisa Rayven

“I’ll never get tired of seeing that,” he says and shakes his head. “It’s freaking ridiculous how someone else’s orgasm can give me so much pleasure.”

He collapses onto his back, and I kiss down his neck, to his chest, then press my lips over his heart to feel how fast it’s pounding. I notice how it speeds up when I reach between us and take him in my hand.

“Ohhhhh, God…”

The feel of him makes me want him even more. Like I’m holding the exact shape of my need. I wonder if I’ll ever see anything more magnificent than Ethan in the throes of pleasure. I highly doubt it.

“You are so beautiful,” I whisper.

He opens his eyes, and for just a moment, I think he lets himself believe it.

I kiss him. His response is hungry and desperate, and I’ve never needed anything more than I need him inside me. He either needs it, too, or he finally understands my relentless determination, because he grabs his jeans off the floor, tugs his wallet free, and pulls out a condom.

I’ve never seen a man put on a condom before, and although it seems like it wouldn’t be an inherently sensual act, watching Ethan do it is incredibly arousing. He moves quickly, hands sure and confident, and a shiver runs up my spine.

We’re going to have sex.

I’m going to lose my virginity.

For the first time in my life, I’m going to have another person … a man … Ethan … inside my body.

I’m overcome by a wave of nerves. For so long, I’ve sworn black and blue that my virginity was nothing more than a burden, but as Ethan kisses me and rolls between my legs, the reality of what’s about to happen dawns on me.

I tense up. He’s so close to where I’ve wanted him for months.

He stops and frowns. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “Nothing. I just—”

“We can stop. We probably should…”

“No! God, no, please.” I touch his face. “I’m just … this is kind of a big moment, you know? I didn’t think it would be, but it is. After this … everything will be different.”

His expression darkens. “I’m going to hurt you.”

“I know. But it has to happen, right?”

He doesn’t answer. Regretful already.

“When it comes to that part, just do it, okay? Quickly. I’d rather it be fast and over with than all drawn out.”

He pauses as his fear builds. “Cassie…”

I wrap my arms around him and pull him down. He kisses me deeply, but the sound he makes almost feels like a protest. As if he wants to stop but can’t.

“I’ll be all right,” I whisper and stroke his face. “Don’t worry.” He’s pressed against me, and I can feel how hard and ready he is. I kiss him once more. “Ethan?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really glad it’s you.”

He swallows and nods, and when he kisses me again, I feel him reach between us. I hold my breath. There’s pressure, much more than with his fingers, and it increases as he pushes forward. He doesn’t get far. We grunt against each other’s lips before stilling, forehead to forehead.

“You okay?”

I nod. “Don’t stop.”

He moves again, and the pressure starts to burn. When I close my eyes against the pain, he stops.

“No. Keep going. Please.”

“Look at me.”

I open my eyes and see strain and worry on his face. “Just keep looking at me, okay? Don’t think about the pain. Be with me.” He moves forward again until he can’t go any farther. I grunt in frustration. He pulls back before he thrusts with more force, and this time, it really hurts. I groan, and he tries to distract me with his mouth.

“You feel amazing,” he whispers against my lips. “I knew you would but … Jesus.” He thrusts again, and I cry out when a sharp pain shoots through me. I dig my nails into his shoulders.

He stops for a second, but I urge him on.

When he pushes forward, it hurts. Muscles and tissues stretch and ache. A flash of panic hits as I think he’s not going to fit.

God, no. What if he doesn’t fit?

He rocks back and forth and manages to go a little deeper each time. His brows furrow in concentration, and he alternates between asking if I’m okay and kissing me.

“I’m sorry it hurts,” he whispers. I grit my teeth when he moves deeper. “I never wanted to hurt you. Ever.”

Another thrust. Then another. I push out a long breath, and so does he. Then his hips rest against my inner thighs, and I realize … he’s inside me.

Fully.

His body joined with mine.

Finally.

I look up at him in surprise. The pain has been replaced by a throbbing burn, but it doesn’t stop my mind from being blown. Everything he’s feeling is reflected in his eyes. Joy, shock, lust, love, regret, elation. Like this, he’s an open book. Nothing hidden or buried.

Just us. Joined in so many more ways than just the physical.

It’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.

Full to overflowing with him, I can barely breathe. This is what I’ve waited for. What I’ve craved for months. I understand why he’s been hiding from these feeling all this time. They’re too powerful and too scary. If you never see paradise, you don’t know what you’re missing.

But we see now. Both of us. He’s been blinded from seeing, and as much as he wants to look away, he can’t.

Neither can I.

“Cassie…”

“I’m okay.”

He moves a little then freezes. All of his muscles tense. “God … I can’t. You feel … unbelievable.”

He drops his head into my neck and just breathes. I hold him and savor the moment. Stroke his back. Take in the all-over rightness of him.

I’d thought I didn’t want special, but here it is. His face is pressed into my throat, and I can tell he’s trying to control himself. Being with him like this is more than special. It’s essential. I can’t imagine giving this part of myself to anyone else. I try to take a mental snapshot, because I know in the album of my life, this moment is irreplaceable.

He pushes up onto his elbows, and when he moves, he does it slowly. He watches me with a look of concerned concentration. I think he’s trying to hide how much he’s enjoying himself. Like it’s wrong he’s feeling pleasure while I’m in pain.

He needn’t worry. With each thrust, the burn diminishes, and after a couple of minutes, I’m breathless and arching from the deep slide of him.