Beautiful Disaster

around her granddaughter because that will just turn her into a dirty whore like her mother."

I have to fight hard not to snort my mouthful of coke right back out through my nose.

"So things between you and her haven’t improved since you had Mona?"

"No, me legally stealing her cuddly little boy and bearing his little demon spawn all within just a few months haven’t exactly made me her favorite person yet."

I nod – not much I can say to that. I’m glad that my mother in particular loves Bella, and while Charlie is still acting reserved and awkward around me, I’ve never gotten the impression that it’s me personally he doesn’t want in Bella’s life. I’ve only met Emmett’s parents twice, and both occasions have left me wondering how Em has had a chance to grow into the man he is, although I keep suspecting that Rose had an integral part in emancipating him from the prude, conservative life his parents clearly intended for him.

"Speaking of favorite persons, how’s Jazz?"

Rose’s toothy grin deserves no acknowledgement, and I don’t really get the impression she’s particularly interested in his well-being.

"I take it you know that he’s crashing on our couch."

"Everyone knows, Edward. Which you would know if you were checking facebook like every sane person in the universe."

Now that’s definitely news to me, but not really surprising. And I can’t even think of the last time I’ve looked at anything other than my missed calls and emails.

"Then you will probably know more about his current state of health or sanity than me, as you probably read his and Bella’s posts every day."

"Neither of them said anything about it. It was actually Jessica Stanley who posted it a few days ago. Clogged up my Farmville notifications for half a day. That skank."

The fact that she actually sounds offended for real makes me crack up anew, but then I catch her inquisitive gaze, which shuts me up quickly again.

"What?"

"Nothing. I’m just wondering how you’re doing with him hanging around."

"He’s really not that much of a hassle. And when I spend the next weekend working my ass off at the hospital again Bella at least has someone to keep her company."

"Like a dog, eh?"

I don’t comment on that as she clearly doesn’t expect me to, but before Rose can go on teasing me I steer the conversation back to the topic that’s concerning me a lot more.

"What did you mean about Alice and her practiced speech?"

"She was here already when you called, and of course she needed to know who it was I kept flirting with on the phone, so I told her that you were coming over. I still can’t decide if it was funny or just disconcerting how she blanched at hearing that."

Something deep in my gut clenches at her words, Rose’s playful tone aside, and I can see from the way she keeps looking at me that she knows how much Alice’s behavior concerns me. The fact that she sounds more serious when she goes on just underlines that.

"Just give her a little time, she’ll fall back into her usual chipper self soon enough. It seems like only a month ago that you complained that she keeps calling you to tell you stuff that doesn’t interest you at the worst of times."

"That’s because we actually had that conversation a month ago."

"Ah, how time creeps along when you never get any sleep anymore!" she retorts, then sighs. "But as weird as Alice’s way of dealing with things uncomfortable is, I can understand her this time."

"You can? That makes one of us."

"Seriously, would you want to talk with the guy who’s most likely to whack you over the head with the same ol’ ‘I told you so!’ when you already know that he’s right?"

Her words make me blink in irritation.

"I’d never say that to her."

"Not? You’d be right, too."

Her words make me halt, but while seemingly hungering for gossip, there is no guile to Rose’s interest.

"Correct me if I’m wrong, but as far as I know neither of them did anything to warrant me saying that. Of course it’s entirely possible that I’m missing something here as I barely know anything about what really happened between them. Nor do I particularly care."

"You don’t?"

Rose’s doubt sounds genuine.

"No, I don’t," I emphasize, and when she keeps scrutinizing me, I’m surprised that I even believe what I’m saying. "They are both my friends. Of course I’d rather see them happy, but some people are not meant to be together. Tough luck, but seriously, I don’t think it’s that much of a surprise that they didn’t stick together that long after trying twice before and not even making it over the weekend. Things might have been sketchy between us over the last months, sure, but I don’t think it’s my place to lay blame with either of them. And even if it was true, I’d never gloat into Alice’s face. You should know me better than that. And so should she."

The last part must have come out more dejected sounding than I want to as Rose reaches over and squeezes my shoulder, offering a warm if sad smile.

"She probably knows. Maybe it’s just too painful still? Maybe she just doesn’t know how to deal with rejection?"

"Rejection? She broke up with him."

For a moment doubt is adding to the queasy feeling in my stomach – what if everything Jazz has told us is really a lie? But then Rose smacks her lips and makes an offhand gesture.

"Any breakup is always full of rejection for both parties. I mean, we obviously all expected Jazz to fail to keep up anything more long-term than a few weeks – but can you remember Alice ever staying together with anyone for longer than that? I don’t. And her breaking them up just means she has to deal with the pain of it all with the certainty on top of it that it was she who hurt herself this much."

I want to protest, but try as I might, no words come to my mind. Of course Rose is right – Alice has been about as much into commitments as Jazz, and it’s entirely possible that until recently, no one really got under her skin like that. She hasn’t spent years pining after someone she’s considered out of her reach, nor has she ever had to deal with the person she wants most running off with someone else. Because the only time she ever got close to anything like that was when Jazz chose her in pretty much the most extreme way I can think of – and for the first time ever I feel like anything that has happened on that cursed Friday makes sense.

"It wasn’t about us – it was all about her."

Rose lifts one eyebrow at my words but I’m too caught up in my train of thoughts to explain, my mind racing the figurative mile a minute. Part of me wants to cling to what I have believed to be the one possible explanation for so long, but the more I mull things over, the harder it gets to deny that maybe, just maybe there is another option. As rash as Rose can be sometimes, she remains calm and just looks at me, a silent offer to be my sounding board if needed. And like so many times before I finally take her up on it. For whatever reason, it’s always been easy for me to voice my thoughts around her – maybe because her rash and no nonsense way conveys the kind of brutal honesty so few people know how to handle well.

"I was just thinking, the whole mess back in early summer – I think Jazz did that entirely for Alice."

The look she deals me could have withered a mountain, but when she sees that I’m serious, Rose clears her throat.

"Isn’t that what he has said himself before? To Bella at least?"

Momentarily I’m pissed off that she doesn’t share my enthusiasm about this new revelation, but then I get where I’ve lost her.

"He said so much crap to so many people about that day, I’m not sure he himself can still keep his stories straight. But that’s not entirely what I meant."