Beautiful Disaster

More groping and sloppy kissing ensues, but before long she pushes against my shoulders until I let her roll us over again so she’s perching on top of me, her hips grinding against mine while her pu**y grips my c**k hard.

"If you don’t mind, I’m gonna be on top. As much as I love you f**king the living shit out of me, right now you’re just not doing a good enough job of that."

Her words, together with the raising of one brow, make me crack up, but I don’t protest when she starts bouncing up and down on me.

"Excuse me if I’m not living up to your high standards, but I don’t remember the last two consecutive hours I’ve slept through."

"Yeah, that’s why all you need to do is lie back and let me do the work," she laughs, then grabs my hands and brings them to her tits, squeezing them until I get the hint.

"If this is what happens when you don’t get to f**k for weeks, I should take advantage of that more often."

Bella makes a face at my words, but the frown leaves her features when I stoke her ni**les with my thumbs, making her moan. The piercing are healing well and I can tell that she’s still very sensitive, not exactly a bad thing as I see it. She increases her pace, then shifts so that her torso is slightly reclined, her fingers digging into my thighs behind her body. I let go of her right tit to reach down and start rubbing her clit instead, drawing a most satisfying "Fuck!" from her.

She’s close to coming, and so am I, and I love getting lost in the moment of crazed need and lust – when suddenly the bedroom door swings open, admitting a somewhat distraught looking Jazz. My brain stutters to a halt and time seems to slow down in that comic way it always does in the movies, but somehow I can still see what is going on with clarity.

"Bella? I know you don’t wanna talk to me right now, but, look, I know I’ve been acting like a complete ass**le. And if you want to punch me again, go ahead, I know I deserve it for being such a delusional fool, but you can’t just ignore what I’ve said -"

That’s when he finally looks up, and taking us in as we are, stops short.

Panic races through me but it’s as if my brain is still disconnected from my body as I can’t move, which is probably a good thing right now. I still tense up, waiting for Bella to do something instead – scream, shout, throw something at him, hide under the bed – but when I can finally drag my eyes from Jazz gawking at us to her, my level of confusion only rises. She is completely calm with her eyes fixed on Jasper- except for her heavy breathing from exertion, her whole body shaking slightly with every deep breath she takes – but it’s the look in her eyes that twists something in my guts.

There is no confusion there, nor reproach, only a hint of simmering anger –

but as I keep watching it slowly leaks from her, gets swallowed by the predominant emotion present – lust. And that’s when I realize that she’s not horrified at all that he has barged in on us. Neither am I, I have to admit, and the reason I can tell so easily what’s going on inside of her is because the look on her face resonates with something deep inside of me that I’ve tried so hard to keep locked up and buried.

Jasper clearing his throat finally shakes me out of my brain freeze.

"I … I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were … ah -"

"Get the f**k out of here!"

My words come out flat and hollow, and after another stutter of something unintelligible Jazz finally gets the hint and walks out backwards, the sound of the door closing behind him echoing through the room with a final quality to it. My head snaps around back to Bella, and her gaze is defiant when I catch it.

"I think it’s obvious that we really have to talk," is what she finally says, frustration heavy in her voice. And f**k, I’m really starting to hate these words.

Chapter 25

" I think it’s obvious that we really have to talk."

I hate those words, but I know that they are true. We have to talk. We have to, but I don’t want to. That’s the only thing that my racing mind seems to agree on. Silence stretches between us, until Bella finally extricates herself from my lush grip. She ends up lying next to me on her back, and I can feel her gaze heavy on me, but I just keep on staring at the ceiling.

"Edward?"

Her voice is raspy with emotion, but something in me immediately snags on the note of frustration in her tone, and in response anger rears its ugly head inside of me. I try to fight it, but then I feel her fingers softly caress my arm

– or the spine of the dragon there, as she does a lot of late – and something snaps inside of me. I turn my head and glare at her.

"What?"

She shies away for a moment, clearly taken aback by my bitten off retort, but before I can wonder how much damage my impulsiveness has just caused a familiar stubborn set comes to her jaw, her eyes suddenly alight with rage in return.

"Did you hear me? We need to talk."

"It was kind of hard to miss. Particularly as it seems that was already the case before you jumped me to f**k whatever that is that we need to talk about out of your system."

Bella is seething now but somewhere she takes the strength to swallow her comeback before this escalates into a real fight, and while part of me really wants to scream and throw things, I’m also glad she tries to keep things civil. Acting like children is really the last thing we need now – I’m just wishing I could stop the urge to do so as easily as she does.

"Probably. Yes. But maybe my need to f**k you was more important than spending the next hour hurling insults and accusation at each other."

When I don’t reply she exhales loudly, then sits up as if staring down at me will lend her some kind of advantage.

"Okay, before the elephant sized misconceptions that are right now crowding this room start stomping us to mush, can we please just act like two adults for five minutes?"

"I was under the impression we were already doing that."

"No, you just sound like a rejected, snotty little boy."

Try as I might, my temper gets the better of me at that, although of course I know that she’s right. Which is not helping this, either.

"The first thing you say that actually sounds right, why shouldn’t I feel rejected when you so obviously still want to f**k him?"

"But so do you!"

In the momentary silence our heavy, angry breathing is deafening as we keep staring at each other, neither ready to look away or back down, but also reluctant to draw any sort of conclusion from this.

As before, Bella is the one who sees reason first, but considering that I feel like she’s had some time to prepare for this speech while I’ve gotten whacked over the head just now that’s only fair. She’s still angry but now frustration leaks back into her posture, and when she surges to her feet her motions are as clipped and ragged as her words.

"There’s no sense in this. Whatever I say right now just won’t get through to you."

I watch in silence as she gathers her clothes, then throws them into the hamper before she dons a simple tank top and sweat pants. Even dressed casually like that she looks positively regal when she turns to face me again, her lips pressed into a thin line while she throws me a haughty look.

"I’m not the one you need to talk to right now. You need to talk to Jazz."

"Oh, I don’t think so."

She only scoffs at my growl, then throws my own pants and a t-shirt at me.

"Right now I don’t give a shit about what you think!"

"Do you ever?"

"Stop acting like such a freaking idiot!"

It’s the first time that she actually screams at me, but contrary to most women, who look more comical than anything else when they throw a fit, Bella gets downright frightening. Some of the shock must have shown on my face as she calms down almost immediately, then hides her face in her hands for a moment, before she combs the sweaty strands back.