Beautiful Oblivion (Maddox Brothers #1)(53)
Author: Jamie McGuire

Raegan and her parents waved good-bye as I left for my shift. The Red Door’s parking lot was more concrete than cars, and the small crowd didn’t stay long. I was glad I was the only bartender. I barely had enough tips to make the night worth it.

Trenton texted me a half dozen times, still asking me to come over. They were playing dominoes and then watching a movie. I imagined what it would be like to be snuggled on their dad’s couch with Trenton, and was a little jealous of Abby that she got to spend time with the Maddoxes. Part of me wanted to be there more than anything.

When I checked my messages just after close, I saw that Trenton had texted with news that Travis and Abby had called it quits. Just when I didn’t think I could take one more disappointment, my phone rang, and Trenton’s name appeared in the display.

“Hello?” I answered.

“I feel terrible,” he said, quiet. He sounded terrible, too. “I don’t think I can slip out of here tonight. Travis is in pretty bad shape.”

I swallowed back the lump forming in my throat. “It’s okay.”

“No. It’s a lot of things, but it’s definitely not okay.”

I tried to smile, hoping it would carry over into my voice. “You can make it up to me tomorrow.”

“I’m so sorry, Cami. I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll see me tomorrow.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I promise.”

After we locked up, Kody walked me to my car. Our breath glowed white under the security lights.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Cami,” Kody said, hugging me.

I wrapped my arms around his large frame as best I could. “Happy Thanksgiving, buddy.”

“Tell Raegan, too.”

“I will.”

Kody began texting the moment he walked away.

“I assume that’s not Ray,” I said.

“Nope,” he called back. “It’s Trenton. He wanted me to text him after I dropped you off at your Jeep.”

I smiled as I hopped up into the driver’s seat, wishing I was on my way to see him.

When I got back to Bo and Sarah’s, the windows were glowing. They had all waited up for me. I hopped down out of the Jeep and slammed the door. I’d nearly made it to the front door when a car pulled up to the curb. I froze. It wasn’t a car I recognized.

T.J. stepped out.

“Oh, God,” I said, puffing out the breath I’d been holding. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Jumpy?”

I shrugged. “A little. How did you know where I was?”

“I’m pretty good at finding people.”

I nodded once. “That you are.”

T.J.’s eyes softened. “I can’t stay long. I just wanted to . . . I don’t really know why I’m here. I just needed to see you.” When I didn’t respond, he continued. “I’ve been thinking about us a lot. Some days I think we can make it work, but then I put those thoughts away when reality sets in.”

I furrowed my brow. “What do you want from me, T.J.?”

“You want the honest truth?” he asked. I nodded, and he continued, “I’m a selfish bastard, and want you all to myself . . . even though I know I don’t have time to spend with you. I don’t want you with him. I don’t want you with anyone. I’m trying to be an adult about this, but I’m sick of holding everything in, Cami. I’m sick of being the bigger person. Maybe if you moved to California? I don’t know.”

“We wouldn’t see each other even then. Look at the last weekend I spent there. I’m not your priority.” He didn’t argue. He didn’t respond at all. But I needed to hear him say it. “I’m not, am I?”

He lifted his chin, the softness in his eyes disappeared. “No, you’re not. You never have been, and you know that. But that’s not because I don’t love you. It just is what it is.”

I sighed. “Remember when I came to California, and I mentioned that feeling that doesn’t go away? It just did.”

T.J. nodded, his eyes floating around as he processed my words. He reached for me, kissed the corner of my mouth, and then walked back to his car, driving away. As the taillights disappeared when he turned the corner, I waited for a feeling of emptiness, or tears, or something to hurt. Nothing happened. It was possible that it just hadn’t hit me, yet. Or maybe I hadn’t been in love with him for a long time. Maybe I was falling in love with someone else.

Raegan opened the door before I knocked, and she handed me a bottle of beer.

“It’s Black Friday!” Sarah said from the couch, smiling. Bo held up his beer, welcoming me inside.

“Less than five weeks to Christmas,” I said, holding up the beer to greet Raegan and Bo. The thought of a Christmas alone made me feel sick to my stomach. Hank would close the Red, so I wouldn’t even have the option of working. I wondered how Felix would explain that away to the boys. Maybe he wouldn’t get the chance. Maybe Mom would kick him out, and the dust would settle enough by then that I could come home.

We sat in the living room chatting for a while, and then Raegan and I crawled into her pink, frilly bed. Posters of Zac Efron and Adam Levine still covered the walls. After we changed into sweats, we lay on our backs and propped our feet on the wall above her headboard, crossing our sock-covered feet at the ankle. Raegan clinked her beer bottle to mine.

“Happy Thanksgiving, roomie,” she said, tucking her chin to take a drink.

“Back atcha,” I said.

My cell phone pinged. It was Trenton, wondering if I’d made it home yet.

I tapped in the words “Staying w Raegan at her parents tonight.”

He replied, “Good. Huge relief. I’ve been worrying about you all day.”

I sent back a wink face, not sure what else to say, and then let the phone fall to the mattress next to my head.

“Trenton or T.J.?” Raegan asked.

“God, when you say it that way, it sounds awful.”

“I happen to know the situation. Who was it?”

“Trenton.”

“Are you worried about T.J. being in town at all?”

“This is so awkward. I keep waiting for him to text me that he’s heard all the dirty details about Trent and me.”

“It’s a small town. It’s bound to happen.”

“I’m hoping whatever brought him here is keeping him too busy to talk to anyone.”

Raegan touched her bottle to mine again. “To impossibilities.”