Beautiful Redemption (The Maddox Brothers #2)(54)
Author: Jamie McGuire

“Whoa,” Taylor said, looking to Thomas. “You’ve got your hands full with this one.”

“Liis has yet to figure out that it’s not about math,” Thomas said with a smile. “Love isn’t about predictions or behavioral markers. It just happens, and you have no control.”

I frowned. In the last three weeks, I’d had a glimpse of what Thomas described, and it was becoming obvious that it was going to be something I would have to get used to.

“So, you’ve only dated guys who didn’t make you feel too much,” Taylor said.

“Definitely no one I was…invested in.”

“Are you invested now?” Taylor asked.

Even from the back, I could see the grin on Thomas’s face.

“You’re going to let your little brother do your dirty work?” I asked.

“Just answer the question,” Thomas said.

“I’m invested,” I said.

Taylor and Thomas traded glances.

Then, Thomas turned to me. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve run the numbers. I’m not going to break your heart.”

“Oh,” Taylor said, “intellectual foreplay. I don’t know what the fuck y’all are talking about, but I’m feeling a little uncomfortable right now.”

Thomas smacked the back of Taylor’s head.

“Hey! There will be no molesting the driver on this trip!” Taylor said, rubbing the sting from the back of his head.

The plane left the runway just after sunrise. Flight was an amazing thing. In the morning, we could see our breath, and just being outside had hurt our skin. In the afternoon, we were peeling off layers and putting on sunscreen to shield our faces from the bright Caribbean sun.

Thomas opened the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the balcony of our second-floor room at The Ritz-Carlton where Travis and Abby were getting married—again.

I followed Thomas, resting my hands on the railing and scanning the scenery below. The grounds had been meticulously kept, and there were so many colors and sounds. The birds were calling to each other, but I couldn’t see them. The muggy air made taking a breath feel like effort, but I loved it.

“It’s beautiful,” I said. “Look through the trees. You can see the ocean. I would live here in a heartbeat if the Bureau had an office here.”

“We could always retire here,” Thomas said.

I looked up at him.

He cringed. “Too honest?”

“Is that what that was?”

He shrugged. “Just thinking out loud.” He bent down to peck my cheek and then returned to the room. “I’m going to hop in the shower. Wedding is in ninety minutes.”

I turned to take in the scenery again, breathing in the salty thick air. I had just agreed to try a relationship with him, and he was talking about the rest of our lives.

I followed Thomas into the room, but he was already in the shower. I knocked on the door and then opened it.

“Don’t say it,” Thomas said, scrubbing his hair.

“Say what?”

“What you’re about to say. You’re overanalyzing.”

I frowned. “That’s part of who I am. That’s why I’m good at my job.”

“And I accept that. What I won’t accept is you using it to push me away. I know what you’re doing.”

Anger, humiliation, and devastation hit me at once. “And I accept that you’re gifted at seeing people for who they really are but not when you point it in my direction and avoid using that talent on yourself.”

He didn’t respond.

“Thomas?”

“We’ve already been over this.”

“What Taylor said this morning, about how to get over someone—”

“No, Liis.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to ask.”

“Yes, I do. You want to know if I am using you to get over Camille. The answer is no.”

“Then, how did you get over her? You weren’t over her before.”

He was quiet for a moment, letting the water run forward over his scalp and down his face. “You can’t just stop loving someone. I don’t know how to explain it to you if you’ve never been in love.”

“Who said I’ve never been in love?”

“You did—when you said you’ve never had your heart broken.”

“A lot of people on this earth have been in love and haven’t had their hearts broken.”

“But you’re not one of them.”

I winced. “Are you over her?”

He hesitated. “It’s hard to explain.”

“It’s a yes or no question.”

He wiped his face and opened the door. “Baby, for the tenth time…I don’t want to be with her. I want you.”

“Would you still be with her if Trent hadn’t come along?”

He puffed out a frustrated sigh. “Probably. I don’t know. It depends on if she would have moved out to California like we’d talked about.”

“You talked about moving in together?”

He sighed. “Yes. Evidently, we need to talk more about this until you’re clear and you feel better about certain things, but right now, we have to get ready for the ceremony. Okay?”

“Okay. But…Thomas?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m never going to be okay with unresolved feelings.”

He looked at me with sad eyes. “Don’t do that. I’m sorry I talked about retiring here. It’s too soon. I freaked you out. I get it.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. This has been an ongoing conversation.”

“I’m aware.”

I glared at him.

“Liis…” He pressed his lips together, stopping himself from whatever he was about to say. After a few moments, he spoke again, “We’ll figure it out. Just hang in there with me.”

I nodded, and then he offered a small smile before pulling the shower door closed.

“Thomas?” I said.

He opened the door again, aggravation darkening his face.

“I just…I don’t want to hurt you.”

His eyes turned soft. He looked wounded. “You don’t want to get hurt.”

“Does anyone?”

“You have to weigh the joy against the risk.”

I nodded and then left him to finish his shower. The foliage and ocean were visible even from the middle of the room, and I tried to forget about my present worries and our future and everything in between.