Bit the Jackpot (Vegas Vampires #2)(37)
Author: Erin McCarthy

"Well, that’s disappointing," Seamus said. "I had hoped she’d know more identifying information. There were lots of foreign vamps running around Vegas twenty-eight years ago. It’s a good town to hide in."

Only half-listening, Cara looked from Jodi to the dancers on stage. Was this all there was for her? She had always taken pride inwho and what she was. At the moment, she felt nothing but a sick burning pit in her stomach that wasn’t hunger. It was anger. Despite all her efforts to be independent, liberated, and totally on her own, she felt two emotions that made her squirm.Embarrassment that men watched her dance and got aroused. And love, for Seamus.

Two traps she said she’d never fall into, and yet she was sitting there caught by both ankles, strapped helpless to her emotions, conventions, and nature.

She had become a stripper to pay for school, and to prove she wasn’t repressed. She was a virgin to prove she wasn’t a slut. And she didn’t date because she knew that if she loved a man, she would love with all of herself, and that was damn scary.

Her mother had been like that, and her mother had wound up alone.

Cara had loved Marcus and had thought he respected her, when in truth he had been having sex with everything thatwalked, everyone but her.

Obviously the man she had loved hadn’t been the man Marcus really was.

So clearly she was just bad at relationships, and didn’tknow what she felt, because honestly, how the hell could shelove Seamus? He had made her a vampire without consulting her, held her prisoner, and didn’t like her choice of draperies. She shouldn’t even like him, let alone love him. It didn’t make any sense.

But he was also the most amazingly kind, patient, and generous man she’d ever met. He took care of Ethan’s political campaign, he soothed Kelsey’s nerves, from day one he had tried to make her comfortable in his apartment, and he walked her dogs without complaint.

Seeing Dawn on the floor like that, having her own brief run in with a killer vampire, she realized she wanted nothing more than to stay with Seamus.Permanently.

Maybe it was shock. It had to be shock, because why else would she be thinking she loved Seamus and that she didn’t want to dance anymore? It didn’t make any sense to feel either one of those convictions. Yet she did.

While her entire sense of self was buckling and heaving like asphalt above an earthquake, Seamus paid their bill and patted his pocket for his car keys.

"Ready?" he asked, oblivious to her shocking revelations.

She thought she loved him. Wasn’t it written on her forehead? Throbbing across her chest? How could he just stand there and not notice?

Drowning in confusion, she reached for a life jacket.Anger. "What happened to my safety? Don’t you care that if I dance here tomorrow night the assassin will try to kill me again? I would be totally exposed and vulnerable."

He stared at her blankly for a second,then gave one of those male sighs that indicated he was willing to blame her behavior on PMS. "Can we talk about this in the car?"

Wrong move.She felt indignation rise with volcanic fury. "We’ll talk about it now."

Seamus sat back down, eyes wary. "I figured you could have a guard—me. I don’t want you to dance, but if you have to, then I’ll watch you."

That slightly mollified her irrational anger. She knew she was being unreasonable, but she couldn’t stop herself. She felt that if she didn’t cling to her fury, she would burst into tears. "Why would you tell me to go back to work if you don’t want me to?"

"Because if I told you no, you’d get mad at me. I was trying to let you make your own choice."

"By telling me to dance naked for strange men?"Maybe she did have PMS. She wasn’t sure about vampiric physiology but wasn’t it possible she could be having a hormonal surge of some kind? She felt on the verge of cracking, borderline hysterical.

Seamus just sat there. He didn’t say a word, just sat in the chair with his hands on the table, his blue shirt turning an orangish color when the pink lights reflected off it. She couldn’t read his expression.

"Well? Aren’t you going to say something?"

He shook his head. "No."

"What do youmean, no? I asked you if you want me to dance naked for strange men."

His jaw twitched but he remained silent.

"Seamus!"

"I’m not answering anything because no matter what I say it will be wrong. We’ve done this before and this time I opt out."

Cara was stunned to realize he was right. She was being a shrew because she had decided she loved him. That made no sense.

The corner of her mouth tilted up involuntarily. "Okay, let’s go home."

"Really?"He looked immeasurably relieved. He stood up and reached for her hand.

"Really."Everything suddenly made much more sense to Cara.Independence wasn’t achieved by dancing naked in defiance. It was reached through respect, and Seamus respected her enough to refuse to argue with her.Enough to never press his advantage after feeding and have sex with her.Enough to let her dance, despite his concerns.

"Let’s go home." So she could tell him she intended to dance only in private from then on. And show him exactly how she felt about him and those sexy blue eyes of his.

Seamus was getting good at bullet dodging. One minute Cara had been furious with him, the next she had been chattering away in the car as if nothing had happened. He wasn’t sure why he was even bothering to stay standing. Maybe he should just let a bullet hit him and take him down. Hadn’t he always said he wasn’t going to cater to another woman’s irrational whims?

Yet something made him stick to Cara. Something kept telling him that once they got solid ground beneath them, their relationship could be amazing. It already was amazing.

So when they got into the apartment, he decided they needed to be clear about what they were, what they were doing, where the future was headed. Not that Seamus knew how to approach the subject, or even how to articulate what he felt. He just did it the way that made the most sense to him. While Cara kicked off her sandals by the front door, he squared his shoulders and faced her.

"Ethan suggested you could have your own apartment. I told him no, because I don’t want you to move out. Really don’t want you to. But if you want to move out, I’ll understand that, and I’ll let you move out. I mean I won’t protest or pull vampire rank or be a jerk.If you move out.If you want to."

Yeah, that was clearing things up. He sounded like a vampiric Rainman .

She just looked at him, her hair falling over her shoulder, the dogs running around her, licking at her fingers. "I don’t want to move out."

"Oh, okay. Good." Seamus cleared his throat. Now what?