Blissful Surrender
Blissful Surrender (Bliss #3)(26)
Author: B.J. Harvey
Fuck it! Sean walked away and left me all worked up and confused as hell. Who says we can’t go to his f**king club and give him a taste of his own medicine? How dare he approach me in front of my colleagues and friends and get all possessive in front of Tanner, not trying to hide how jealous he obviously was, then dance with me. AND he didn’t just dance like an old pair of friends; he danced with me like he was my man, my lover … branding me and igniting my body with his touch.
How f**king dare he!
“That’s an awesome idea!” I exclaim, standing up and grabbing Tanner’s hand, wobbling slightly on my heels before he cups my shoulders to steady me.
“You okay, babe?” he asks, sounding concerned.
“Sure. Let’s do this. I know just the club.”
I lead Tanner outside the club, Kate and Zander bringing up the rear. I start walking down the street, hand in hand with Tanner as I try hard to ignore the fact that I feel nothing toward him. No spark, no warmth spreading through my body, no fluttering in my belly like when Sean is near. I know I’m probably leading him on, but right now I have one thing on my mind and that is showing Sean exactly what he’s missing, exactly what he walked away from.
“Where are we headed, Sam?” Zander asks, coming up beside me.
I don’t hesitate. I don’t even look up at him as I answer. I just keep striding toward my destination. The desire to see Sean again is all the motivation I need to walk three blocks in four inch pumps as I decree, “We’re going to Throb. We’re going to get drunk and have some fun.”
Drunk woman on a mission.
Get the f**k out of my way.
Chapter 13: “You Got The Love”
Sam
I scan the club hoping to catch a glimpse of the man that I can’t stop thinking about.
I’ve been secretly hoping that Sean is watching me on the dance floor and will sweep me out of Tanner’s arms into his. Wishful thinking obviously. I can’t sort my head out. I know I want him, but I keep waiting for him to make his move and he just hasn’t tried to seal the deal yet. He gets so far then pulls back, leaving me hot and bothered and aching for more.
One could almost think he wants me to go to him!
As soon as we walk in the doors of the club, I make a beeline for the bar and order a round of shots. Tanner then follows suit, ordering another round, and before too long my overactive mind has blurred edges and I’m feeling relaxed and carefree. But even in my tipsy state, I can’t get Sean out of my head.
He was so overtly possessive earlier in front of Tanner. And when he held me in his arms as we danced, the energy between us was electric. I mean, if there was ever another power crisis, just put Sean and me in a small room together and watch the kilowatts go through the roof!
My skin prickles with awareness and I instantly know he is nearby. No other man has made me so on edge. There is no one else on earth that I’ve ever felt this in tune with before; it’s disconcerting and thrilling at the same time.
Pony by Rihanna blasts through the sound system and Tanner takes the opportunity to move in close, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me hard against him. The dance floor fills to bristling, but the people are a blur. All I can feel is Tanner’s hard body writhing suggestively in time with the music and the all too familiar buzz in my head from too much vodka. My body is strung so tight I fear I’ll snap, and it’s that pent-up tension that sees me matching Tanner grind for grind, my hips swinging seductively with his as I lift my arms around his neck, tangling my hands in his hair and pulling the strands through my fingers. I close my eyes and for a moment I imagine it’s Sean I’m dancing with, that it’s his hands wandering over my body, the silky material of my dress sliding up slightly when one hand rakes against the bare skin of my thigh while the other cups my ass, holding me tight against him. I reopen my eyes as Tanner’s hands glide over me, remaining oblivious to the discomfort I feel the minute I lock eyes with Sean.
His sapphire eyes bore into mine from across the crowded club as he leans against the stairs on the far wall that lead up to the second floor and his office; the office where he’d told me I could find him if I needed him.
In my heart, I know I don’t want Tanner; it was never an emotional connection with him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a really nice guy, but he’s not him. When I think about it, nobody has even come close to him. My resolve to fight whatever feelings still rage between us is failing. Those deep blue eyes, that knowing smirk of his that tells me he’s thinking dirty thoughts and they all involve me, the way his touch relaxes and charges me all at the same time. My automatic supplication whenever he’s near.
I haven’t been able to admit that to myself until right now when I’m in the arms of another man, and in a club with an illicit reputation that both scares and exhilarates me as I stare into the eyes of the man that makes my heart race like no other.
Tanner and I continue to dance as Rihanna talks about doing it, but it’s the rest of the words that sink into my psyche about having a lover and needing no other.
Sean’s head tilts upward, his chin strong and unwavering. Even from across the room I can see that he’s tense, his rigid body unmoving, his jaw clenched so tightly that if I were closer I’d swear I could hear his teeth grinding. Frowning and shaking his head, he turns and speaks to the bouncer briefly before taking the stairs two at a time, striding away from me, away from us. Tanner buries his face in my neck, and when I feel his tongue on my skin I realize why Sean left.
I feel like I’ve been sucker punched in the gut.
I need to go to him, I need to show him that I want this, want him. Not Tanner.
“Sam,” A voice whispers in my ear, bringing me out of my haze. “You wanna get out of here? Any more of this…” Tanner murmurs as he grinds his hard length against me, “…and I’ll get arrested, even in a club with a perverted reputation like this.”
His words act like cold water. Pulling away, I take a step back while pushing on his shoulders to put a decent gap between us. His eyes narrow as he frowns down at me. “Sam, what’s wrong?” His hands covertly go into his pockets as he tries to hide his predicament. If I were in the right frame of mind I’d find it amusing, but right now nothing is funny. It’s like I’ve just been hit with a Mac truck of realization and there is only one man I want to see standing in front of me. The one man who I know is probably still watching this situation unfold, that’s if he hasn’t washed his hands of me. Seeing me in the arms of another man in front of him would do that. I know that the mere thought of Sean being with another woman, let alone touching her, kills me.