Blissful Surrender (Bliss #3)(7)
Author: B.J. Harvey

“I’m getting the impression you’re still a hard ass too. At work anyway …” His gaze drops to my mouth, not missing the moment I drag my tongue along my suddenly parched lips. It’s a nervous habit that I’ve never been able to shake, and it’s obvious that Sean remembers too because his eyes flare quickly before returning to mine. Putting his hand in his pant pocket, my attention is drawn to his chest, his hips, his ….

I shake my head and catch the slight curl of his lips into an irresistible smirk. Dammit, he’s still the master mind reader he always was. Right, Sam, snap out of it. You’re here to check on Ryan then you can go to Helen’s and get reacquainted with your friend Vodka.

Hang on.

What did he mean by ‘at work anyway’?

“You look well, Sam,” he adds, suddenly putting a crack in my armor with a simple compliment. “Had I known you were still in Chicago … well, I would have—”

“I’m just going to pop into Ryan’s room and make sure he’s okay.”

His body jolts and I definitely don’t miss the look of disbelief that shadows his expression. He studies my face, unnerving me to the core. “Do you have plans tonight?” His confidence is unmistakable as he waits for my answer.

An unexpected wave of warmth spread through my body from the fact that he wants to see me again. He’s gotten to me, just from a simple five minute conversation. I feel like I’m against the ropes with little to no options of winning. My eyes widen as I look at his lips again. “Yes.” My voice shakes slightly and the slowly growing smile on his lips tells me he did not miss it. “I’m going to my friends’ place for dinner.” I look down at my watch and realize that visiting hours will be over soon. “Sorry, Sean, but I’d better get to Ryan before visiting hours end. Great to see you again though,” I lie through my teeth. It’s f**king terrifying and thrilling at the same time.

He steps back, not appearing rattled or shocked by my act. “I see,” he murmurs. “Well, thanks for helping Ryan this afternoon. I know it’s your job, but he was knocked around a bit and it must have made him feel better knowing you were there. I own that club, so if there is anything you need … professionally, or any questions that need answers, please don’t hesitate.” He’s all business now as he pulls out his business card and hands it to me. I look at him and then the card before taking it in my fingertips. When my hands brush against his, the energy between us is palpable.

I adjust my purse on my shoulder and stand straight, almost eye to eye with this foreboding and gorgeous man from my past. In a split second that gives me no hope of evasion, he takes a step forward and wraps his arm around my waist, resting his hand on the small of my back and bringing my body close to his. Kissing my cheek, he brings his mouth so close to my ear that I tingle with the sensation of his warm breath on my skin.

“Until next time, Sammy …” He kisses a spot just below my ear, turning the tingle into a full body shiver of the good but embarrassingly obvious kind, before he steps away, pulling his arm away and walking down the corridor away from me.

I stand there dumbstruck, replaying the whole scene that just played out between us.

Then it hits me.

He could tell.

One look, a few exchanged words and a brief physical interaction and he could tell.

Fuck a duck and stuff me with a feather. I never could fool him, not with a simple fib or a lie by omission. He always knew. Right from the beginning he’d told me that he loved my backbone and sass but when it was just the two of us behind closed doors, I was his. Now the one thing I couldn’t admit to myself back then, the part of me he wanted to nurture, just revealed itself to Sean in all its glory.

But that’s in my past, and I realized a long time ago that as hard as you try, you can’t change what has gone before. You can only learn from it. And this time, Sean’s the one walking away from me, not the other way around.

Irony sucks ass sometimes.

I take a deep breath and walk down the corridor to the nurses’ station, asking directions toward Ryan’s room.

When I find him, he’s staring out the window looking lost. His vacant stare and downturned mouth seem unnatural on his face. This is Ryan, the guy who always used to liven up the mood of any room he walked into. He’s the happy go lucky to Sean’s intense and broody. The combination always made for a good time. But looking at the man lying in the hospital bed in front of me, all I can see is a lone man who looks like he’s lost everything.

“Ryan?” I say hesitantly. He slowly turns his head toward me and his body goes rigid in surprise, then relaxes again, although the wince I see cannot be missed. “How are you feeling?” My voice is still soft. I’ve had a lot of practice dealing with victims of crime, but something tells me that this is something else, something important that I’ve missed.

He shrugs his shoulders and turns his head back to the window. “Did you see my brother?” he asks, his voice flat and without feeling.

“Yeah, I did. Not my favorite thing in the world I must admit.”

“Why’s that? You two haven’t seen each other in what … ten years?” He still won’t look away from the window.

I sit down on the bed beside his legs and gently put my hand on top of the blanket to get his attention. “Ry, did something happen? With Sean?”

He slowly turns his head and stares at me as if I have two heads or something. His eye is almost swollen shut and he has a bandage around his head covering his wound. He studies me for what seems like forever before he asks, “Are you here as a friend or as a cop, Sam? Because the answer to that will determine my answer to your question.”

My eyes widen in surprise. I’ve never been asked that before so I’ve never had to consider it. But Ryan was my friend, Sean’s brother, and right now, I’m guessing he needs a friend. I shake my head. “As your friend, Ryan. Please tell me what’s going on so I can help you.”

He gives me the slightest of nods before taking a slow, measured breath. “Sean basically just washed his hands of me, just before you arrived.”

I gasp. No, that can’t be right. The two of them are the only family they have left. “No …”

He lets out a laugh then gasps in pain. “Shit, that hurts. Yep, my brother has finally had enough of my shit. He’s sick of being the father, the brother and the fixer-upper.” He looks back out the window and I know I’m losing him again.