Bloodlust

“It’s going to be alright, Mack,” Aubrey said. “You’ll see.”

“Says the person who found this place scary even when they were fucking undead,” I grumbled.

I let him lead me on, however, twisting left. Unfortunately this was in the direction the sound had come from. It’s okay, Mack, I told myself. It’s okay. It’s…

“It’s okay, Mack.”

I let out a small shriek. That had not been Aubrey.

My eyes wide, I searched the darkness frantically. There was something there. Someone there. I took a step towards the outline of the figure, and then Aubrey pulled me back by the scruff of my t-shirt.

“Don’t,” he hissed.

“But…”

The look in his eyes stilled me. I nodded. I’d probably just been hearing things. And seeing things. Aubrey took my hand in his and squeezed it. Then we continued on.

“I can feel the fire from here,” a female voice murmured.

I jumped about five feet in the air. Fucking hell. Iabartu had said those very words to me when I’d confronted her, half an eternity ago. But it couldn’t be her – she was very, very dead.

“Ignore it.” Aubrey tightened his grip on my hand.

“What is it? Who is it?”

“They’re drawn to you,” he said. “I don’t hear what you hear. The ones who passed this way before who have a connection with you are drawn to you. Only you can hear them.”

My chest tightened. He was talking about fucking ghosts. But that meant…

“Don’t get any ideas, Mack,” Aubrey said dully. “They’re not what you think.”

I was about to ask him what he meant when another voice spoke. “What do you call a human with half a brain?”

My heart rate increased. The human hating Brethren shifter who’d died on the beach in Cornwall. I swallowed and focused my attention on the real person in front of me.

“What are they then?”

“Not even what you would call souls. They’re just,” he paused, as if searching for the right word, “echoes. Reminders of what once was and is no more.”

“So where are the souls?”

“Deeper.”

We continued walking. I concentrated on putting one foot in front of another. I wasn’t sure if I should be trying to listen out or trying to block out the voices. I caught myself straining my ears into the silence. What if I heard John? Or Thomas?

“Giiiiiiiiive meeeeeeeee it!”

Jesus. That was the wraith, Tryll. I should definitely be trying to block out the sounds. Aubrey tugged at my hand, pulling me along, attempting to get me to move faster.

“Aubrey?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you hear?”

He sighed heavily. “You don’t want to know.”

I bit my lip. He’d been a vamp. He was right – considering what I was hearing, I definitely didn’t want to know what terrors Aubrey was being forced to listen to right now. I increased the pressure of my grip on his hand for just a second. I was still here and I was still with him.

The familiar voice of the painfully young Brock filled my ears. “You know Baldilocksh, you’re okay.”

I gritted my teeth and tried to stop the tears from welling up. Oh God. I couldn’t deal with this. To know that they were here but not here. I didn’t want to hear them. Any of them.

“You know what it’ll be like, Mack, more than anyone. I’ll always be labelled as the crazy one who might fly off the handle at any moment. It doesn’t matter whether I’m here or somewhere else. I thought I’d put all those troubles behind me, but I suppose I was wrong.”

Thomas. I squeezed my eyes shut. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop.

Then there was the most familiar voice of all. “It’s a wichtlein’s stone. Wichtleins do sometimes hang around old mines and tease the men that work there, but more often than not they are true harbingers of evil.”

I cried out in involuntary pain, stumbling and crashing down to my knees, my hand wrenching away from Aubrey’s. He pulled me back up to my feet.

“John,” I gasped. “That was John.”

“It’s okay,” Aubrey said softly. “We’re here.”

I gulped in air and looked around. It was still the same darkness, still the same place.

“Are you sure?” My voice came out as a squeak. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” His voice sounded distant. “You need to wait here.”

“What? No! You stay here. I’ll go.”

“You can’t, Mack.”

“You can’t fucking tell me what to do. You’re on my team, buster, not the other way around.” Clearly the stress was starting to get to me.

Aubrey reached out and touched my hair ever so gently. “You’re life. Everything about you is life. This place, where we are now, it’s all death. You won’t be able to enter.”

“Screw this place,” I snarled and pushed past him.

I smacked straight into some kind of invisible wall. A ward? Here? I growled. I picked at the scab on my index finger until it bled, then thrust it out towards the barrier and stepped forward again. My head crashed against it. I shoved my shoulder into it. Still, nothing. I turned at looked at Aubrey. He was just standing there, watching me.

“I was a vampire, Mack. I’ve been touched by death.” He smiled at me with a tinge of sadness. “And they’ll talk to me.”

“The dead? They’ve just been fucking talking to me! In fact, they wouldn’t bloody shut up!”

“That wasn’t a conversation,” he said gently. “I’ll find the right souls and find out what you need.”

And before I could say anything else, he was gone.

“Fuck!” I shouted out, slamming my hand against the wall.

I began to pace around.

“Come on then!” I shouted to the invisible voices. “Do your worst! What else are you going to say?”

Silence rebounded back at me.

“You think I’m afraid?” I shouted again. “Speak up!”

There was nothing. I couldn’t hear a goddamn thing. The place was so silent that if a single feather fell to the ground it would probably sound like a clash of thunder. And then someone spoke.

“You’re going to stay here for a while, Mackenzie. John will look after you. You’ll be safe here. Try not to get angry or lose your temper. You’re going to be on your best behavior all the time. No matter what though, don’t forget that I love you with all my heart.”

I slowly sank to the ground. My mother. She was dead then, after all. I buried my face in my hands.

*

I had no idea how long I was there for. It could have been five minutes and it could have been five hours. I didn’t hear any more voices; I was just alone in the darkness. When Aubrey finally did return, he was so silent that it wasn’t until he spoke that I realised he was there.

“Hey Mack.”

I scrambled to my feet, beyond relieved to see him. “Aubrey! You made it! Thank fuck.”

He smiled at me. “Endor’s hiding out in one of the dark planes. Dorchadas.”

“I’ve never heard of it. You’re sure?”

He nodded.

“That’s brilliant,” I said. “We should have come here from the very fucking start.”

I cursed myself and my own fallibility. I should have spoken to Aubrey earlier about the vamps. Idiot.

“Come on, then. Let’s go.” I turned and began walking. When I realised he wasn’t following me, I stopped and looked back. “What? Am I going the wrong way?”

“You’re going the right way, Mack. Just keep walking straight and don’t veer off the path. If you get lost, then call Solus to help.”

I stared at him. “You’re not coming.”

“No.”

“Why the fucking hell not?”

There was a kindness in his eyes that I’d not seen before. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean you bloody can’t?”

“Only the undead can walk with a foot in both worlds. I’m not undead. Not any more.”

I could feel the blood draining from my face. “I don’t understand, Aubrey. Get your arse over here now.”

He smiled again. “You do understand, Mack.”

No. I didn’t. He needed to stop dramatising everything so we could sodding go home. It was just like him to act this way.

“If anyone could just visit the dead whenever they wanted, don’t you think they’d always do it?” he said softly.

“But…”

“You can’t return to the world of living after you’ve been here. It’s not natural and it’s not right. Think about the creatures you’ve met in the past.” He smiled humourlessly. “The wraith, Tryyl. He should have just stayed dead. Think about how much better everything would have been if he had.”

“And vampires are fucking natural? Are they fucking right?” I exploded.

“Did you ever think they were?” His voice was calm and even. “They’re not. You know they’re not.” He stood there, watching me from only a couple of feet away. “You brought me back. You gave me my soul and my life whether you meant to or not. I’ve already lived long beyond my years as it is. This is what’s right, Mack.”

“You knew,” I said, staring at him. “You knew you wouldn’t be able to return.”

“I don’t need to return, Mack. I’ve already been saved. I even got to enjoy coffee and pizza properly first as well. And we’ll always have Russia.” He smirked slightly before turning serious again. “I owe you my life.”

“Before,” I said, “when you were in hysterics…”

“What? You’ve never been to a funeral and gotten a fit of the giggles?” He raised up one hand in a gesture of farewell. “Now go. Get the council together and go and find Endor. Kill him. And live the rest of your life. You deserve it.”