Born of Silence (The League Gen 1 #4)(30)
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

He stepped back to smile down at her. “Well, second luckiest. Personally, I think you have the number one slot. Want to trade?”

She laughed. “I love you, Mari. I really do. You’re such a special gem.”

Maris sighed wistfully. “If only you were a gorgeous man saying that to me, sweetie. Oh well… one day.” He sobered. “I love you, too, Zarya. Thank you for saving him today.”

“Team effort,” she reminded him.

He shook his head at her. “You have a hard time accepting praise, don’t you?”

“It makes me really uncomfortable.”

“All right, then. You suck. Now, I’m going to check on Ryn to see if he needs anything while he deals with the firestorm over this.”

Smiling, Zarya watched him leave. She really did love that man. But what she felt for him was nothing compared to what her heart held for Darling.

And she’d almost lost him today…

Worse, she was the biggest threat he had to his well-being and reign. Closing her eyes, she kept trying to blot out the image of the e-mail they’d received after his attack.

We are the Resistance and you are holding one of ours. There will be no peace and no quarter so long as you have her. Release Zarya Starska or we will burn the palace to the ground and destroy every aristo we find.

Protests had been breaking out steadily since the attack. Even now, there was a group of rabid protestors at the palace gates.

Because of her.

I have to leave him. In spite of what Maris said, and in spite of the pain it would cause her, she couldn’t stay here.

For the sake of Darling’s life, she would have to go. She knew it deep in her heart. But knowing what needed to be done and doing it when you didn’t want to were two different things.

I don’t want to go. She remembered how desolate she’d felt when Darling had gone missing. Remembered the nights of feeling lost and vacant. She didn’t want to go through that again.

But if she didn’t, he’d be dead, and then she would never be able to see him. Period.

I’ll either have to live a life without him in it, knowing he’s alive and well. Or live a life where he’s dead.

Either way, she lost. There was no choice.

Somehow she was going to have to find the strength to break his heart.

And ruin the rest of her life.

14

“What the hell are you doing here? And dressed like that!”

Zarya jumped at the strident tone that startled her out of her thoughts. Not just because it was so angry, but because it came from the last person she expected to burst into her bedroom.

“Sorche? What are you doing here? Who let you in?” Unless Maris gave clearance, no one was supposed to be allowed into the governor’s private wing without a full escort.

Her sister didn’t answer. Instead, she rushed across the room to take her by the arm. Sorche pulled her toward the hallway door. “Look, there aren’t any guards outside. I think we can make it out before anyone realizes you’re gone.”

Unsure if she should laugh or be insulted, Zarya gaped at her. “What are you talking about?”

Sorche lowered her voice to a tiny whisper. “I saw the news, okay? I know he’s holding you against your will, and—”

Zarya refused to let her sister haul her across the room. She twisted her arm out of Sorche’s grasp. “It’s not against my will.”

Sorche cocked her head. “The UCN said that he had mind control over you. Do you know who I am?”

Zarya gave her a droll stare. “My annoying little sister who has driven me insane since the moment she came into this world and threw up all over my favorite dress.” She placed her hands on Sorche’s shoulders and met her gaze levelly so that she could see Zarya was in full possession of her own mind. “I am here by choice, Sorche. That’s why I don’t have guards. I’m free to leave anytime I want to. I have the money and the means to leave.”

“Then why are you here?” Fear sparked in her brown eyes. When she spoke again, her voice was barely audible. “You’re going to kill the governor, aren’t you?”

“No.” Biting her lip, Zarya debated telling her sister the truth. While Sorche was extremely loyal, she could also be scattered, and extremely stupid at times. “I’m going to tell you something, but you have to swear on our mother’s soul that you will never, ever breathe a syllable of it to another living being.”

“Even Ture?”

“Even Ture.”

Sorche considered it for a few heartbeats. “Then it has to be good. Spill it.”

“Swear first.”

Sorche nodded eagerly. “Okay, I swear it.”

Now Zarya understood why Maris had hesitated with her. It was hard to let go of a confidence when you knew it would destroy the person you loved most if anyone else heard it. And while she trusted her sister, she was still afraid that by talking about this, she might do Darling harm.

But in the end, she knew she had to tell her sister the truth. Sorche wouldn’t accept anything else. So taking a deep breath, she forced the words out. “Darling is Kere.”

Sorche gaped at her disclosure. For several seconds, all she did was blink until she finally gasped, “Your fiancé Kere?”

“The one and the same.”

“The Sentella Kere who is wanted dead by the League and—”

Zarya placed her hand over Sorche’s mouth to keep her from carrying on. “You can’t speak of this, Sorch. To anyone but me. Ever. Do you understand?” It would mean Darling’s life if she did.

Sorche nodded, then pulled Zarya’s hand from her lips. Her gaze danced around the room as she came to grips with the truth as to why Zarya was still here. “So where were you for the last year? Honestly?”

She didn’t want to answer that, but she’d never liked lying to her sister either. “I was imprisoned.” She didn’t tell Sorche where because she didn’t want her sister to hate Darling for it.

“I knew it!” Sorche grabbed her arm again. “I’m getting you out of here.”

“Stop it!” Zarya snapped at her. “I can’t leave him until I know he’s going to live, okay?”

Sorche finally calmed down. “You really do love him, don’t you?”

“More than my life.”

Her sister rubbed Zarya’s arm, offering her comfort. “All right, but I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re okay. You hear me? While you might love him, I definitely love you.”

She smiled at her sister’s unnecessary concern. “All right. Now how did you get up here?”

“It wasn’t easy at first. This obnoxious doorman was interrogating me. Thoroughly. Then this odd guy, dressed in an outlandish orange getup dismissed him and asked who I was and why I wanted to see you.”

“Maris?”

“Yeah. He’s… different, isn’t he?”

Zarya laughed. “A little. So he showed you up?”

“Yeah.” Sorche swept a curious gaze from the top of Zarya’s head to her feet. “Now explain your clothes. I’ve never seen you in a dress before.”

Zarya shook her head as she looked down at the filmy, light blue dress she wore. It flowed around her in a whisper of silk—to quote Maris. Sorche was right, it wasn’t her usual style of a dark battlesuit. “It’s called a day gown.”

“Day gown?” Sorche pulled at the lightweight silk outer skirt. “I bet this thing cost more than a year’s tuition.”

Funny, Zarya had never put it in those terms before. Now she felt guilty for enjoying it. People were hungry and here she was, dressed up for no reason whatsoever.

Sorche sucked her breath in sharply. “I’m sorry, Zarya. I didn’t mean to ruin it for you. Please smile again. You look beautiful in it. You do and it’s about time you wore something really nice. I’m just not used to seeing you dressed like this. That’s all.”

She hugged her sister. “It’s fine. Now let me find Gera and get you settled in one of the rooms.”

Sorche hesitated. “You sure I can’t kidnap you?”

She cringed at those words. But most of all, she cringed at the idea of leaving Darling. Ever.

You have to. No matter how much she loved him, she couldn’t stay and endanger him. “Once I know he’s going to live, I’ll let you take me home.”

Fearing he was blind—and would remain so—Darling opened his eyes slowly. As he blinked, the world came into focus. Not perfect, but it was back to what it’d been before his attack.

He breathed a sigh in relief.

Thank the gods…

Who knew you could be so grateful for a hazy view of the world? But he’d take fuzzy over nothing any day.

He lay on his back with a weight draped over his chest. Glancing down, he smiled as he saw Zarya sound asleep there with her arms wrapped around him in a tight hug. Now that had to be the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. And it instantly set fire to his blood for many reasons.

Grateful to and for her, he brushed his fingers through her soft, mahogany hair.

She’d saved his life.

His head was still throbbing and much of what had happened was foggy, but one memory was crystal clear. The sound of her angry voice over the roar of the flames around him.

“Don’t you dare die on me, Darling Cruel! I swear I’ll follow you into hell to beat you if you do!”

He was a psycho bastard to have that mean so much to him. But it meant everything.

She really did love him.

And the truth was, he loved her, too. More than he could believe. More than he could stand at times.

For her, he would do anything.

So why did it have to hurt so much? Be so damned hard?

Because people let each other down. Always. No matter how much they love each other, someone always screws up.

And the more you love them, the deeper it stings…

It was a natural state of being. No one could ever live up to the expectations of someone else. Sooner or later, everyone failed and he was too tired of being disappointed to keep up the pretense that he wasn’t.

She didn’t disappoint you in this.

No, but it still didn’t erase the past when she had, and in a much bigger way.

Why couldn’t you have opened the door then, Z?

As bad as the fire had been, it was nothing compared to the months of hell her people had put him through.

Her actions today didn’t ease that part of him. You’re not perfect yourself, you know?

True. He’d done his own share of hurt where she was concerned. And she’d forgiven him for it, so why couldn’t he do the same for her?

Because I’m a monster.

Physically and mentally.

But worse than that, he was an ass…

Zarya came awake to someone stroking her hair. Happiness shot through her as she realized what it meant. Lifting her head, she stared into those deep blue eyes that belonged to the most important person in her world. Never had she seen anything better. “How do you feel?”

“Did one of you drop me on my head?”

She laughed. “We only thought about it. Is your sight better?”

Nodding, he turned his head to look at the clock. “How long was I out?”

She cringed, not wanting to tell him. But he had a right to know and it wasn’t like he wouldn’t find out eventually. “Well… let me put it to you this way. You should be having surgery right now.”

He handled the news better than she’d expected. It took a few seconds as he digested it, then he sighed. “Is it morning?”

“Yes.”

Darling ran through his mind the fact that he’d been out for two days. While it didn’t thrill him, there wasn’t anything he could do about it… other than shoot Syn.

Maybe later.

Right now, he wanted to focus on the soft body pressed against his and on other matters he needed to attend to. “What have I missed?”

She wrinkled her nose and gave a playful cringe. “Mostly family tantrums.”

His stomach tightened with dread. Please tell me they’re not here. Please… “Pardon?”

As always, his luck fled out the door faster than a thief who’d just tripped an alarm.

“Your siblings are all here. Under one roof. Now I know why you chose not to have them around you while you healed. They can be… interesting, as I’m sure you know.”

That he did. A multitude of adjectives went through his head for all three of them, and he was grateful she was being judicious and kind with her choice of words where they were concerned. Seldom was he so considerate. “I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with them.”

“Don’t be. Sorche’s here, too. I’d much rather deal with your family drama than mine.”

The catch in her voice concerned him. “Why is she here? Did something happen?”

Zarya shook her head. “She heard the same news report your sibs did and flipped out, thinking you were holding me here against my will. But I’ve got her calmed down and Gera gave her a room not far from Lise’s. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Your sister’s always welcome here.” Even though he’d never met Sorche, he felt like he knew her as much as he knew his own family. Most of all, since she was one of Zarya’s favorite topics, he knew how much Sorche meant to her. For that reason alone, he’d be more than happy to set her up with a permanent residence here in the palace.

He rubbed his hand over his brow as he heard a dull roar through the walls. “What’s that sound?” He would think it was his brothers and sister fighting, but there were too many voices for it to be the three of them.

And it wasn’t loud enough to be Lise.

“What sound?”

He squinted as he listened again, trying to decipher it. “It sounds like people shouting.”

“Oh.” She bit her lip before she answered. “It is people shouting.”

“And they’re shouting… why?”

He saw the reluctance in her eyes. “You know the old adage, a single drop starts the deluge?”

“Yeah.”

Zarya propped herself up on her elbow to look at him as she traced a small circle on his chest… one that was slowly making him crazy with lust as he wished she’d dip that hand lower and cup him. “Once word spread that you’d been attacked and were down, the people started rioting for every grievance they’ve ever had against you, your family, and their lives. Your gerents have no idea how to handle it, and Ryn is about ready to rally Tavali forces to put them down and shut them up—my paraphrasing, mind you. Ryn’s language was much more… colorful and descriptive.”

That sounded like his brother. When diplomacy failed, kill them all and let the gods sort it out. ’Course his wasn’t much better. In fact, the only thing that really separated their philosophies was that Ryn wanted guns while Darling preferred high explosives. “Where’s Ryn now?”

“Downstairs meeting with a group of social delegates.”

Well, that iced his raging hormones. Damn…

Darling groaned out loud. “That’s like asking a predator to guard prey.” And he was the idiot who’d appointed Ryn to the position.

What was I thinking?

Basically that he had no one else he could trust.

Cursing himself for that particular piece of brilliance, he sat up and ignored the pain that burned through him.

Zarya scowled. “What are you doing?”

“Going to save my empire while I still have one.”

She scooted off the bed to stop him. “You can’t. Syn needs to—”

“Zarya,” he said firmly, interrupting her. “Please. I can’t fight everyone at once.”

Growling her own frustration at him, she held her hands up in surrender. “Fine. What do you need me to do?”

“Help me dress.”

Zarya paused at his suggestion. The last thing he needed to do was walk into a room full of people who wanted him dead. People who were itching for a chance to assault him, verbally and physically.

A wicked smile curled her lips as an idea struck her on how to keep him out of harm’s way for a little longer.

She walked up to him and wrapped her arm around his neck, then pulled his head down so that she could nibble his lips while she gently scooted her right hand into his pants to fondle him. Her smile widened as she realized he was already hard and wet.

Pulling back, she whispered seductively, “Dress or undress you, my lord?”

Darling’s head swam as fire ran through his veins. Her fingers felt so good on him that it was hard to stay focused on duty. Especially when she dipped her hand down to cup and finger him.

Yeah, he’d much rather stay here with her.

Something that wasn’t helped as she sank down to her knees in front of him and opened his pants.

You stop her now and I’ll kill you.

But he had an empire to run. His id could wait.

No, I can’t.

Yes, it could.

His legs went weak as she took him into her mouth and unmitigated pleasure tore through his entire being. For a full minute, he reeled from it.

The voices outside grew louder, reminding him of the job that awaited him.

Fuck the empire and everyone in it…

Yeah, that would be an intensely bad idea.

He really hated that stupid notion of the “empire comes first” his father had drilled into him as he forced himself to step back from her. The sight of her licking her lips in an open invitation was enough to kill him.

Stamping down the fire in his blood, he narrowed his eyes at her. “You are devious. Don’t think I’m not on to you.”

Any other time, it would work. But he couldn’t allow her to distract him today or to know just how much power she ultimately had over him. He was completely weak and pliant when it came to her.

“Fine,” she snapped irritably, rising to her feet. “Freshen up and I’ll get your clothes ready.”

Before he stepped away, he pulled her into his arms to give her the hottest kiss he could manage. One that had her wrapping her arms around him and clutching at his back. When he forced himself to pull away again, she was breathless.

Blinking, she stared at him with a hunger in her eyes that matched his.

He ran his hand along her jaw. “Don’t you hate it when someone stirs a fire you can’t quench?”

She narrowed those amber eyes at him. “You better be glad I’m still not over the close call you just had. Otherwise, I’d make you pay for that.”