Bringing Maddie Home(17)
Author: Janice Kay Johnson

He’d brought underwear but not a bra, she saw. Despite the long soak, her arm was reluctant to lift, so she decided to skip putting the one she had back on. She squirmed and wriggled to get the T-shirt and fleece mock-neck over her head, then had to sit on the closed toilet seat to ease the jeans up and get on the heavy socks. Finally, she looked in his drawers until she found a comb and used it to restore order to her wet hair. For the moment, she decided to leave her pile of wet clothes on the floor. She could ask him for a plastic grocery bag to stuff them in so she didn’t drip all over the floor.

He must have heard the door open, because he was pouring boiling water into a mug when she reached the kitchen.

“Cocoa,” he said without looking at her. “I hope you like it.”

“It sounds wonderful.” She smiled tentatively as he turned. “You must have a sweet tooth.”

“Yeah, I do.” His gaze swept over her, head to toe. “You look a little better. You should take some ibuprofen, though.” He lifted a bottle from the counter and when she held out a hand shook out two pills into her palm. He’d already poured a glass of water, too.

Colin sent her to the living room and carried two mugs of cocoa when he followed her. This time he sat down beside her on the sofa and put the mugs on the coffee table.

“All right.” He was, momentarily, all cop. “Tell me what happened.”

She told him the story and watched his expression harden.

“No headlights.” It wasn’t a question.

She shook her head anyway.

“You think he was trying to run you down.”

Nell’s whole body tightened. “It…felt like it. But, honestly, I guess it’s possible the driver didn’t see me at all. Visibility was really bad, and if he just hadn’t turned his headlights on yet…”

“Where did he come from?”

Startled, she looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“Was there any other traffic? Would you have heard this vehicle coming down the street, turning the corner?”

Chilled, Nell gazed down into her cocoa, cradled to warm her hands. “I think so. Even if I wasn’t thinking about it, I wouldn’t have stepped out into the street without a glance and without being aware of a car engine. I mean, that’s automatic.” She frowned. “I think he must have been parked at the curb down the block.”

“Watching for you.”

“Oh, God,” she whispered.

He set down his own mug with an abrupt motion and clasped her free hand in a reassuring grip. “Nell, it may have been a neighbor or some idiot teenager.”

“But you don’t think so.”

His dark eyebrows rose. “Do you?”

Once again she hesitated, only reluctantly shaking her head. “It felt…malevolent.” She studied his face. “This is what you were afraid of, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t have encouraged you to come home if I’d expected anything like this. Like I told you, some of my worry really was a product of occupational paranoia. I may still be overreacting, but having something like this happen is too suggestive to make me happy.”

“Maybe I should leave.”

His eyes had darkened. “I think it’s too late for that, Nell. Now people know you’re alive, that your memory isn’t a complete blank. Whoever he is, he may be afraid that this visit home will have triggered your memory to return. He could follow you.”

“I haven’t told anyone where I came from or what name I live under.” Her voice had risen.

Colin held her gaze, his own steady, if worried. “You did tell your parents. Anyone could have noted the license plate number on your car. People could find out I was in Seattle a few weeks ago. I mentioned seeing you on the local news. Anyone could find you, Nell. I can watch out for you here. I can’t if you’re in Seattle.”

Her fingernails were probably digging into his flesh, but she held on to his hand anyway. “Yes.” She steadied her voice. “Okay.”

He grilled her on what she’d seen of the vehicle and she was embarrassed to admit that she couldn’t even swear it was an SUV versus a pickup with a canopy, and no, she wasn’t absolutely positive it was black, only that it was a dark color. And no, she hadn’t caught even a glimpse of a license plate.

“I was just so scared,” she explained. “And it was snowing and…”

“Getting out of the way was a lot more important than trying to see a license plate. Hey.” He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her instead.

After a stiff moment, Nell let herself relax against him, laying her head against his chest, broad and solid. A bubble of laughter arose, and when he cocked his head to look at her face, she had to explain what Emily said about men preferring to have a dainty woman instead of an Amazon.

He chuckled. “Can’t say I ever thought one way or another about a woman’s height.”

Of course she now burned with self-consciousness, because she’d implied he was cuddling her for, well, romantic reasons rather than simple reassurance. But he seemed to be rubbing his cheek against her hair even though it was still damp, and his big hand was gently kneading her shoulder. And did police officers make a habit of cuddling citizens even if they had just had a close call?

He let out a sigh. “Damn,” he murmured. “I’m sorry, Nell. I got you into this.”

Like another slap of snow in the face, he’d managed to remind her of his oversize sense of responsibility and, yes, his need to win, or maybe only find answers. One or the other of which had kept him looking for her all these years.

She didn’t look at him when she straightened. After a moment, his arm fell away from her. She knew he was watching her, but she made a production of picking up her mug and taking a sip. Nell tried to think of something to say, then remembered she did have one more thing to ask him about.

“Emily and Hailey told me something.” Finally she did turn her head and met his eyes. “They said I had a boyfriend, I guess right before I disappeared.”

His gaze sharpened. “Did they say who?”

“Only that his name was Beck, Emily thinks. She says she told an officer who interviewed her back then, so it should be in the reports somewhere. He wasn’t a student at the high school. I said he was on his own, like maybe a dropout. Or I guess he could have been older, like a community college student?” But Nell couldn’t imagine herself at only fifteen hooking up with a guy in college. “For some reason, I didn’t want to introduce him to my friends, but she did see him once when she ran into us by accident. She said he looked wary.”

“I read your file not long ago. I’d swear there was nothing about a boyfriend.”

She shrugged. “It may not mean anything. I might have only met him the week before or something, but… How?” she blurted. “I was shy! And I could never have told my mother. Can you imagine?”

“No.” He was scrutinizing her the same way he had that night at the library, before he’d introduced himself. As if she were a…a victim, or a suspect. It was disconcerting. What was it police spokespersons always said? A person of interest. Not a woman he’d tugged into his arms a minute ago.

“You don’t remember him.”

“No.” Why did that sound defiant? Maybe because she had one of those creepy feelings, as if a ghost had brushed her. If she pushed up her sleeves, would she have goose bumps? “I was shocked when they told me.”

All he did was watch her.

“You don’t believe me,” Nell said indignantly.

“I believe you.” But he said it slowly enough, she didn’t believe him.

“I really don’t remember him,” she insisted. Only…it didn’t come out as strongly as she’d intended.

One of Colin’s eyebrows quirked.

Dismayed, Nell looked down to realize she’d wrapped her arms tightly against her torso and was squeezing. Hugging herself for comfort.

“I don’t,” she said again. Third time’s the charm. Except the theory didn’t work.

“What is it, Nell?” It was the deep, tender tone that got to her, as it did every time.

“When Emily said that,” she told him in a low voice, “about me having a boyfriend, I was surprised but also really anxious.”

“Thinking about him scared you.”

She closed her eyes for a moment. “Yes.”

“Then we’ll have to find out why.” He sounded practical and calm, exactly what she needed.

“How can we? What if he was really on his own, like a runaway?”

“I doubt he was, at least in the sense you mean. I gave this some thought not long ago. We don’t have street people in Angel Butte, and there’s good reason. Winters are too damn cold. Admittedly, there wasn’t any snow on the ground when you disappeared. Even so, where would this guy have been sleeping? If he’d been homeless, he’d have been dirty, probably stunk. Would that have appealed to you?”

She was shaking her head before he finished. “No, I probably wouldn’t have let him get near me.”

“So this Beck had to be living somewhere he could take showers, wash his clothes. He might have been staying with a friend, who introduced you.”

She’d never hated more the giant empty whiteboard in her head where there should be a colorful riot of memories, impressions, life. All she could do was shake her head. Was Beck one of those bad things her brain was determined to block out?

“Tomorrow, I’ll look to find out what Emily said at the time, and what was done to locate this guy.”

Nell nodded, hopefully maintaining her dignity. “Thank you.”

He frowned at her. “You look beat.”

“It’s been an eventful day.”

“Yeah, it has.” Again he made one of those lightning assessments. “How do you feel?”

Nell had to think about it. “Better. The ibuprofen helped, I think. The hot bath, too.”

“You do know you’re going to hurt come morning, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Think you can sleep?”

“Probably.” Which would bring dreams. If only she could remember them better. She suffered from chronic nightmares that she suspected had to do with whatever had happened here in Angel Butte, but she couldn’t be sure because the images always faded no matter how hard she tried to hang on to them. Tonight’s near disaster was bound to make a nightmare surface.

Lines gathered on his forehead again. “Did you tell your friends where you’re staying?”

The question kicked up her pulse. “No. I only said I’d gotten an apartment and Hailey said cool, that meant I was staying for a while.”

His face relaxed. “Good. Let’s keep it that way.”

“Someone could follow me.”

“They could. Keep an eye out. Whenever you’re on your way back here, take a few extra turns and make sure no other vehicle is making them with you.”

Nell almost laughed, remembering her frantic efforts to shake any pursuit that night after he’d confronted her in the library parking lot and said, I know you.

“I can do that.”

She could tell she had made him curious, but he chose not to ask, only nodded and repeated, “Good. I’ll walk you over to the apartment.”

He was probably desperate to get rid of her. There was no reason whatsoever to feel hurt at the thought.

“Here I’ve consumed another one of your evenings,” she said in chagrin. “I’m sorry.”

He lifted her chin, and Nell realized she’d been hiding behind the fall of hair. I’m not like that, she thought, and wondered if she were reverting to the more introverted teenager she must have been. Shy was okay, a coward wasn’t.

A spark that might have been anger lit his eyes. “I’d have been upset if you hadn’t come straight here.”

She swallowed with difficulty. “Message received.”

His eyes narrowed, but he let her go. Only, it felt as if he were caressing her as pulled his hand back. It was all she could do not to turn her head to maintain the contact. Even…nuzzle a tiny bit.

They stared at each other for a moment. Nell had no idea what he was thinking. Her heart was pounding hard, but not in fear. Something more unnerving yet was happening to her.

“You ready?” he asked roughly.

Ready? For an instant she didn’t understand what he meant. Or maybe she wanted to think he meant… Oh, God. Her cheeks warmed. What was wrong with her?

“Yes.” She shot to her feet. “Do you have a plastic grocery bag I can put all my soggy clothes in?”

For a beat, he didn’t move. She could swear there was heat in his eyes—probably the reason for the glow she could feel on her cheeks.

Then he moved his shoulders as if to ease tension, and at the same time managed to erase from his face whatever he’d been feeling. “I’ll get one.”

He kept his distance on the walk to the apartment door, staying several feet away as she unlocked. “You didn’t say what your plans are for tomorrow.”

“I’ve gotten a couple more names of people who should remember me pretty well. I’ll try to talk to them. I also thought…” She hesitated. “I want to go to the park. I need to see where it happened.”

He closed the distance and gripped her arm. “Not alone, Nell.”

“I actually was hoping you could take a few minutes,” she admitted.

“Of course I can. Call me when you’re ready.”

Nell nodded, feeling shaky again. “Yes. All right.”

He looked down at her, his eyes shadowed in the artificial light. Then he nodded and let her go. “Good night, Nell.”

“Good night.” She whisked inside, locked the door behind her, and started up the stairs to the small apartment that didn’t feel nearly as safe as it had before somebody had tried to kill her.