Broken Dreams (Broken #2)(29)
Author: Kelly Elliott

“Reed, I know your heart. I know how kind, gentle, and wonderful you are. I don’t think you would ever do anything wrong, or—”

“Stop. Please don’t say anything else.”

His eyes snapped open, and I instantly became nervous. There was something in his eyes, and I didn’t know what it was, but it scared me.

“Please don’t say what a wonderful person I am. You don’t know the terrible things I’ve done.”

I shook my head, confused. “What do you mean? What terrible things?”

He dropped his hands, and I instantly missed his touch. He stood up, jammed his hands through his hair, and then slid them down his face. I wasn’t sure why, but I loved whenever he did that. When he looked back at me, he was crying as he shook his head, and I sucked in a breath of air.

“I’m so afraid that I’m about to lose the one thing I’ve waited for my entire life. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved, and if I lost you…” His voice cracked, and he turned away.

Holy shit. What in the hell is going on? “Reed, you’re really scaring me. Please talk to me.”

He looked back at me, and the hurt in his eyes killed me.

“I can’t lose you. You’re my entire life.”

I stood up and grabbed his hands. “You’re not going to lose me. I promise you. Nothing you say is going to make me stop loving you—ever.”

“I did things…things I’m not proud of.” A sob escaped from his lips.

“Reed, what you did in the past is in the past. You don’t have to tell me anything. I love you for the person you are right now, today, not the you before me.”

He ran his hand through his hair again and then leaned over as he dropped his hands to his knees. “I have to tell you. I have to tell someone because I can’t take the guilt any longer.”

My heart was pounding. I had no idea what he was about to say to me, but I knew it had to be big if he was worried it would push me away from him. I slowly sat down and looked up at him. “Reed, just tell me, and please know that I love you and will always love you.”

He gave me a weak smile and sat down next to me. He must have sat there for a good five minutes before he took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“There was this girl…Kelsey. I met her in college, and we went out a few times. It was nothing serious, but one night at a frat party, we both had too much to drink, and one thing led to another.”

A one-night stand? He’s worried about a one-night stand? “Okay, so y’all slept together. Reed, you’re not the first person to have a one-night stand.” I placed my hand on his knee.

He closed his eyes and whispered, “She got pregnant. I’m not even sure how because I wore a condom, but…”

It felt like someone had pushed a knife into my stomach. Reed has a child? I couldn’t say a word. I just sat there and waited for him to keep talking.

“When Kelsey told me she was pregnant, I didn’t hesitate to tell her that I would help with the baby. I had no intentions of marrying her because I didn’t love her, but I knew I would help out with the baby the best I could. She told me she didn’t need my help because she had decided to…to…”

Oh. God. Oh God…please don’t say what I think he is going to say. “Reed…” I whispered.

“She told me if her parents found out, they would disown her and stop paying for college. She came from a very strict Catholic family. She didn’t want to disappoint them, and she didn’t want this to ruin her life. I tried to talk her out of it. I told her we could put the baby up for adoption, or I’d take the baby…but she wouldn’t listen to me.”

He put his head in his hands and began sobbing. “I just let her do it. I didn’t try hard enough to talk her out of it. She told me it was her body and her decision, and when I tried to say I had a part in the decision as well, she said I didn’t, and she had already made up her mind. She asked me to take her…and…oh God.”

I felt the tears running down my face as I grabbed on to Reed and held him as he cried. I’d never in my life felt such heartache as I did at this very moment.

Reed was now sobbing while trying to talk. “I took her to the appointment, Court. I waited there and did nothing while they did it. I took her home, and her roommate just smiled at me and told me she would take care of Kelsey. I turned and walked away, and I never saw Kelsey again.”

“Reed, you don’t have to say any more.”

He began shaking his head as he looked up at me. “I do. I need you to know everything because I never want there to be anything between us—ever.”

I took a deep breath and nodded my head.

“I kind of just lost it after that. I began drinking and partying more, and I hooked up with a bunch of girls those first few months after.”

My stomach felt sick at the idea of Reed sleeping around with a lot of women, but at the same time, I understood.

“I woke up one morning with a girl in my bed, and I decided right then and there that I needed to stop. The last thing I wanted to do was end up getting another girl pregnant. I stopped with the partying and concentrated only on college.” He turned and looked at me, sadness filling his eyes. “I’m so sorry. None of them meant anything to me, and I felt so guilty for using them all for sex. I never promised them anything, and they were all one-night stands. They meant nothing.”

“Reed, it was in the past. It was long before me, and it means nothing to me now. I love you.”

I placed my hand on his chest, and he closed his eyes as he sucked in a breath of air.

“I love you for the man you are today, not who you were in college. I’m so sorry for what you went through. I can’t even imagine.” I shook my head. My heart broke for Kelsey as well.

The next thing I knew, Reed was on his knees in front of me. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that another girl, who I didn’t even love, was the first to carry my child. That should have been you. I want the mother of my children to be you, Courtney. My only dream was to find you, the love of my life, the one girl I’d lay my life down for and do anything to make her happy. I don’t want my dream to be broken because of something I did in my past or for the stupid way I behaved.”

He began crying harder, and I dropped to my knees next to him.

I placed my hands on his face and made him look at me. “That will be me. That is me. Reed, I’m not going to take away the fact that a precious little angel in heaven would have been your first child, but we will have all our dreams come true, you and me together. I want nothing more than to give you your first child. I can’t wait to give you that gift. Reed, our dreams are no longer broken, not when we have this kind of love together. I love you so much.”