California Girls (Page 36)

“When he dumped me, I was so angry and hurt and embarrassed, and I had to cancel the wedding.” She twisted her fingers together. “Since then, I’ve been busy with work and looking at apartments and helping my mom and stuff. I’m still pissed at him and I think he’s a jerk and I can’t believe I was so stupid to fall for him, but I don’t long for him or think about what we would have had if he hadn’t dumped me.”

“Is that bad?”

“No, but I don’t get it. My sister is devastated by what’s happening in her marriage. Shouldn’t I be feeling at least a little of that? And if I’m not, why did I want to marry him in the first place?”

“You were in a relationship and it progressed. That’s pretty natural.”

“I guess. What I don’t know is where it all derailed.”

His gaze sharpened. “You know that whatever went wrong is his fault. You didn’t do anything. Glen is the one who walked away.”

“Obviously he didn’t love me and while it hurts to say that, I’m not broken by the concept. I don’t feel much of anything. So what happened? Was I fooling myself? Taking the easy way out? I don’t want to be a shallow person.”

“You’re not. Ali, you believed him and trusted him and he betrayed that. Maybe you weren’t as in love with him as you thought, but I don’t think that makes you shallow. Sometimes love grows over time and sometimes it fades. Maybe your love faded.”

“You’re putting a very nice spin on it considering I was going to marry him,” she said, kicking off her shoes and tucking her feet under her. “I think I was impressed by Glen in the beginning. Not crazy about him, but I liked him and then as the relationship continued, I went along with it. I thought he was a nice guy who cared about me and that was appealing.” She hesitated again. “I’m not a super visible person.”

“What does that mean?”

“I got overlooked a lot as a kid. My mom totally focused on Finola, and Zennie was my dad’s favorite. There wasn’t a parent left for me.” She sighed. “That sounds so dramatic, but it was true. I had friends and stuff, but…” She looked at him. “Too pathetic?”

“Not pathetic at all. We are all the product of how we were raised. If your parents had been different, you would be different.”

“I’d had boyfriends before, but nothing really serious. Glen noticed me at a fund-raiser my sister hosted. He came right up to me and started talking to me. Nothing like that had ever happened before. He was funny and had a good job.”

She wrinkled her nose. “That’s not very romantic, is it? Shouldn’t I have said he swept me away? That I couldn’t imagine life without him? Did I want to be with him because that’s the stage we were at? I mean he broke up with me, so why did he propose in the first place?” She looked at Daniel. “I saw a comedian on TV once, talking about how the reason people get married is they reach a place in their relationship when there’s nothing left to say so one of them says let’s get married and then they have a lot to talk about. I don’t want it to have been that.”

“It wasn’t.”

“You can’t be sure.”

“I know you. You wanted what most people want—a connection. A partner who will love you back and be there when you need him. You wanted to be a part of something, you wanted to love and be loved. You wanted kids.”

She smiled. “Apparently Glen talked about me more than I thought. You’re right. I did want all those things. I wanted to be like everyone else. Not famous or anything exciting. I just wanted to belong.”

She felt tears burning in her eyes. “You know what? I miss that. I don’t miss Glen but I miss being a couple. What’s up with that?”

“I think it’s really normal.”

She managed a strangled laugh. “You’re really good to me, Daniel. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He looked at her. “You didn’t do anything wrong—I know. I was married before. We went into our relationship with the best of intentions and then it all went south. I can’t say she was a total bitch, because she wasn’t, and I didn’t cheat or do drugs or even hang out with my friends too much. We just weren’t happy together.”

“We both know Glen wasn’t happy with me.”

“We both know Glen’s a dick.”

She smiled. “There is that. Okay, let’s talk about something else. Do Jerome and Sam really work for you?”

“Sure. Why?”

“I don’t know. They were very polite but they didn’t seem like typical motocross guys and I’m not sure why.”

He surprised her by looking away. “I, ah, have some employees that, ah…”

She put her feet on the floor and scooted to the edge of her seat. “What? Are they undercover cops or something?”

“No. They’re part of a program run by the state to help former felons find their way in society. I hire a couple of guys at a time in a work-release program.”

She felt her mouth drop open and carefully closed it. “Really?”

“You were never in any danger.”

“I never felt in danger. That’s really cool. So you’re helping them.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

One shoulder rose and lowered. “I’ve been given a lot of opportunities. It seemed reasonable to give back.”

“Just like that?”

He nodded.

“Wow. Glen wouldn’t ever leave more than a twelve percent tip in a restaurant. It always bugged me. Sometimes I’d sneak back and leave a few dollars. How did you two get to be so different?”

“I have no idea.”

“Don’t take this wrong, but I’m pretty sure I like you better.”

The sexy grin returned. “I like you better than Glen, too.”

She laughed. A prison-release program. Daniel was kind of a cool guy.

“I loved their tattoos. I was thinking maybe I should get one. Except they do it with needles, right?” She shuddered. “I have trouble getting a flu shot.”

“Then you might want to avoid the whole tattoo thing.”

“You have several.” Glen had mentioned it, in a disapproving way.

“A couple.”

He was wearing a T-shirt over jeans and from what she could tell, there was no ink on his arms.

“Where? Oh, man, please don’t tell me one is on the small of your back. That would change everything.”

“Not on the small of my back and maybe another time.”

What did that mean? That they were in places not usually seen in public? The idea of exploring Daniel’s body, searching for the tattoos had instant appeal. His skin would be warm, his muscles honed. What would happen if she got up and sat next to him, then put her hands on his…

Stop, she told herself firmly. She had to stop. She was not going to repay his generosity with some creepy move. Coming on to him would totally change their dynamic. Worse, he would pity her and she honestly didn’t think she could stand that.

“Your wedding date is coming up.”

His statement was so not what she’d been thinking about that it took her a second to catch up.

“Yes, it is.”

“We should plan something for the day. We can do something you’ve never done.”

“Like skydiving?”

“I was thinking of something a little more earthbound, but yes.”

“I have a morning of beauty planned. I kept my spa appointments because I figured I’d want to be pampered, but I’m free after that. What did you have in mind?”

“A dirt bike lesson and dinner.”

Nice, nice and more nice, she thought. If she was willing to be the least bit stupid, she would so throw herself at him. He was totally irresistible offering to spend her would-be wedding day with her.

“A dirt bike lesson and dinner sound perfect,” she said. “Thank you. But after that, you have to get back to your real life and stop worrying about me. I’m going to be perfectly fine.”

His dark gaze settled on her face. “Ali, you do realize I enjoy spending time with you, don’t you?”

“Um, sure. But you don’t have to, you know, take care of me or anything.”

Was it just her or was it getting awkward in here?

“So we have a plan for your wedding day,” he confirmed.

“We do. I will come back from my appointments looking like a princess and then you can dirty me up.” She winced. “You know what I mean.”

One corner of his mouth turned up. “I do.”

“Great.” She pointed back toward her end of the house. “I’m going to make a graceful escape while I still can.”

He chuckled. “Probably a good idea.”

* * *

Finola couldn’t stop feeling weary. Her days weren’t any longer, her commute was actually shorter, but the ever-present sense of being exhausted only grew.

She knew it was a combination of stress and emotional pain. The news about Nigel and Treasure had exploded into the tabloids and she was pretty much under siege. The studio had put on more security to keep the photographers away and she was being deluged by interview requests. Her producers wanted a sit-down with her, and her agent was furious that she’d gone this far without letting the agency know what was happening. Finola knew she was right—her excuse was she had simply wanted it to all go away.