City of Fallen Angels (The Mortal Instruments #4)(19)
Author: Cassandra Clare

Simon tossed him one, and Kyle headed into the kitchen, which was separated from the living room by a long counter, to toast and butter his breakfast. Jace looked at the white bag and waved a dismissive hand. "No, thanks."

Simon sat down on the coffee table. "You ought to eat something."

"Look who’s talking."

"I’m out of blood right now," Simon said. "Unless you’re offering."

"No, thanks. We’ve been down that road before, and I think we’re better off as just friends." Jace’s tone was as lightly sarcastic as ever, but this close up, Simon could see how pale he looked, and that his eyes were ringed with gray shadows. The bones of his face seemed to be sticking out more prominently than they had before.

"Really," Simon said, pushing the bag across the table toward Jace. "You should eat something. I’m not kidding."

Jace glanced down at the bag of food, and winced. The lids of his eyes were grayish blue with exhaustion. "The thought makes me sick, to be honest."

"You fell asleep last night," Simon said. "When you were supposed to be guarding me. I know this bodyguard thing is mostly a joke to you, but still. How long has it been since you slept?"

"As in, through the night?" Jace considered. "Two weeks. Maybe three."

Simon’s mouth opened. "Why? I mean, what’s going on?"

Jace offered the ghost of a smile. "’I could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.’"

"I actually know that one. Hamlet. So you’re saying you can’t sleep because you’re having nightmares?"

"Vampire," said Jace, with a tired certainty, "you have no idea."

"Hey." Kyle came back around the counter and flung himself down in the nubby armchair. He took a bite out of his bagel. "What’s going on?"

"I went to meet Luke," Simon said, and explained what had happened, seeing no reason to hide it. He left out any mention of Camille wanting him not just because he was a Daylighter, but also because of the Mark of Cain. Kyle nodded when he was done. "Luke Garroway. He’s the head of the downtown pack. I’ve heard of him. He’s kind of a big shot."

"His real name isn’t Garroway," said Jace. "He used to be a Shadowhunter."

"Right. I heard that, too. And now he’s been instrumental with all the new Accords stuff." Kyle glanced at Simon. "You know some important people."

"Important people are a lot of trouble," Simon said. "Camille, for instance."

"Once Luke tells Maryse what’s going on, the Clave will take care of her," said Jace. "There are protocols for dealing with rogue Downworlders." At that, Kyle looked at him sideways, but Jace didn’t seem to notice. "I already told you I don’t think she’s the one trying to kill you. She knows-" Jace broke off. "She knows better than that."

"And besides, she wants to use you," Kyle said.

"Good point," said Jace. "No one’s going to off a valuable resource."

Simon looked from one of them to the other, and shook his head. "When did you two get so buddy-buddy? Last night it was all, ‘I’m the most elite warrior!’ ‘No, I’m the most elite warrior!’ And today you’re playing Halo and giving each other props for good ideas."

"We realized we have something in common," said Jace. "You annoy us both."

"In that vein, I had a thought," Simon said. "I don’t think either of you are going to like it, though."

Kyle raised his eyebrows. "Let’s hear it."

"The problem with you guys watching me all the time," Simon said, "is that if you do, the guys trying to kill me won’t try it again, and if they don’t try it again, then we won’t know who they are, and plus, you’ll have to watch me all the time. And I assume you have other things you’d rather be doing. Well," he added in Jace’s direction, "possibly you don’t."

"So?" said Kyle. "What’s your suggestion?"

"We lure them out. Get them to attack again. Try to capture one of them and find out who sent them."

"If I recall," said Jace, "I had this idea the other day, and you didn’t like it much."

"I was tired," Simon said. "But now I’ve been thinking. And so far, in my experience with evildoers, they don’t go away just because you ignore them. They keep on coming in different ways. So either I make these guys come to me, or I spend forever waiting for them to attack again."

"I’m in," Jace said, though Kyle still looked dubious. "So do you just want to go out and wander around until they show up again?"

"I thought I’d make it easy for them. Show up somewhere everyone knows I’m supposed to be."

"You mean …?" said Kyle.

Simon pointed to the flyer taped to the fridge. MILLENNIUM LINT, OCTOBER 16, THE ALTO BAR, BROOKLYN. 9 P.M. "I mean the gig. Why not?" His headache was still there, full force; he pushed it back, trying not to think about how exhausted he was, or how he’d push himself through the gig. He had to get more blood somehow. Had to.

Jace’s eyes were shining. "You know, that’s actually a pretty good idea there, vampire."

"You want them to attack you onstage?" Kyle asked.

"It’ll make for an exciting show," said Simon, with more bravado than he really felt. The idea of being attacked one more time was almost more than he could stand, even if he didn’t fear for his personal safety. He wasn’t sure he could bear to watch the Mark of Cain do its work again.

Jace shook his head. "They don’t attack in public. They’ll wait till after the show. And we’ll be there to deal with them."

Kyle shook his head. "I don’t know…"

They went a few more rounds, Jace and Simon on one side of the argument and Kyle on the other. Simon felt a little guilty. If Kyle knew about the Mark, he’d be a lot easier to persuade. Eventually he cracked under the pressure and reluctantly agreed to what he continued to insist was "a stupid plan."

"But," he said finally, getting to his feet and brushing bagel crumbs off his shirt, "I’m only doing this because I realize that you’ll both just do it whether I agree or not. So I might as well be there." He looked at Simon. "Who would have thought protecting you from yourself would be so hard?"

"I could have told you that," Jace said, as Kyle threw a jacket on and headed to the door. He had to work, he’d explained to them. It appeared he really was a bike messenger; the Praetor Lupus, despite having a badass name, didn’t pay that well. The door closed behind him, and Jace turned back to Simon. "So, the gig’s at nine, right? What do we do with the rest of the day?"

"We?" Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?"

"What, bored with my company already?"

"Let me ask you something," Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?"

"What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying."

"Stop it," Simon said. "Stop being sarcastic for a second. You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping. You know who else isn’t? Clary. I don’t know what’s going on with you and her, because frankly she hasn’t said anything about it. I assume she doesn’t want to talk about it either. But it’s pretty obvious you’re having a fight. And if you’re going to break up with her-"

"Break up with her?" Jace stared at him. "Are you insane?"

"If you keep avoiding her," Simon said, "she’s going to break up with you."

Jace got to his feet. His easy relaxation was gone; he was all tension now, like a prowling cat. He went to the window and twitched the curtain back restlessly; the late-morning light came through the gap, bleaching the color in his eyes. "I have reasons for the things I do," he said finally.

"Great," Simon said. "Does Clary know them?"

Jace said nothing.

"All she does is love you and trust you," said Simon. "You owe her-"

"There are more important things than honesty," said Jace. "You think I like hurting her? You think I like knowing that I’m making her angry, maybe making her hate me? Why do you think I’m here?" He looked at Simon with a bleak sort of rage. "I can’t be with her," he said. "And if I can’t be with her, it doesn’t really matter to me where I am. I might as well be with you, because at least if she knew I was trying to protect you, that might make her happy."

"So you’re trying to make her happy despite the fact that the reason she’s unhappy in the first place is you," said Simon, not very kindly. "That seems contradictory, doesn’t it?"

"Love is a contradiction," said Jace, and turned back to the window.

Chapter 8

WALK IN DARKNESS

Clary had forgotten how much she hated the smell of hospitals until they walked through the front doors of Beth Israel. Sterility, metal, old coffee, and not enough bleach to cover up the stench of sickness and misery. The memory of her mother’s illness, of Jocelyn lying unconscious and unresponsive in her nest of tubes and wires, hit her like a slap in the face, and she sucked in a breath, trying not to taste the air.

"Are you all right?" Jocelyn pulled the hood of her coat down and looked at Clary, her green eyes anxious.

Clary nodded, hunching her shoulders into her jacket, and looked around. The lobby was all cold marble, metal, and plastic. There was a big information desk behind which several women, probably nurses, were milling; signs pointed the way to the ICU, Radiation, Surgical Oncology, Pediatrics, and so on. She could probably have found the cafeteria in her sleep; she’d brought Luke enough tepid cups of coffee from there to fill the Central Park reservoir.

"Excuse me." A slender nurse pushing an old man in a wheelchair went past them, nearly rolling the wheels over Clary’s toes. Clary looked after her-there had been something-a shimmer-

"Don’t stare, Clary," Jocelyn said under her breath. She put her arm around Clary’s shoulders, turning them both so that they faced the doors that led to the waiting room for the lab where people got their blood taken. Clary could see herself and her mother reflected in the dark glass of the doors. Though she was still half a head shorter than her mother, they really did look alike, didn’t they? In the past she’d always shrugged it off when people said that. Jocelyn was beautiful, and she wasn’t. But the shape of their eyes and mouths were the same, as were their red hair and green eyes and slight hands. How had she gotten so little of Valentine’s looks, Clary wondered, when her brother had gotten them all? He had had their father’s fair hair and startling dark eyes. Though maybe, she thought, if she looked closely, she could see a little of Valentine in the stubborn set of her jaw…

"Jocelyn." They both turned. The nurse who had been pushing the old man in the wheelchair was standing in front of them. She was slim, young-looking, dark-skinned, and dark-eyed-and then, as Clary looked at her, the glamour peeled away. She was still a slight, youthful-looking woman, but now her skin was dark blue, and her hair, twisted up into a knot at the back of her head, was snowy white. The blue of her skin contrasted shockingly with her pale pink scrubs.

"Clary," Jocelyn said. "This is Catarina Loss. She took care of me while I was here. She’s also a friend of Magnus’s."

"You’re a warlock." The words came out of Clary’s mouth before she could stop them.

"Shhh." The warlock woman looked horrified. She glared at Jocelyn. "I don’t remember you saying you were going to bring your daughter along. She’s just a kid."

"Clarissa can behave herself." Jocelyn looked sternly at Clary. "Can’t you?"

Clary nodded. She’d seen warlocks before, other than Magnus, at the battle in Idris. All warlocks had some feature that marked them out as not human, she’d learned, like Magnus’s cat eyes. Some had wings or webbed toes or taloned fingers. But having entirely blue skin was something it would be hard to hide with contacts or oversize jackets. Catarina Loss must have had to glamour herself every day just to go outside-especially working in a mundane hospital.

The warlock jerked her thumb toward the elevators. "Come on. Come with me. Let’s get this done fast."

Clary and Jocelyn hurried after her to the bank of elevators and into the first one whose doors opened. As the doors slid shut behind them with a hiss, Catarina pressed a button marked simply M. There was an indentation in the metal beside it that indicated that floor M could be reached only with an access key, but as she touched the button, a blue spark leaped from her finger and the button lit up. The elevator began to move downward.

Catarina was shaking her head. "If you weren’t a friend of Magnus Bane’s, Jocelyn Fairchild-"

"Fray," Jocelyn said. "I go by Jocelyn Fray now."

"No more Shadowhunter names for you?" Catarina smirked; her lips were startlingly red against her blue skin. "What about you, little girl? You going to be a Shadowhunter like your dad?"