Collision Course(15)
Author: S.C. Stephens

But over time, the memories didn’t cause me as much pain and visions of us together filtered through my day: leaning against the wall with her in my arms while we watched kids go by in the hall, chucking gummy bears at each other as we studied in the library, her teasing me with those tiny, tight shorts when I’d come watch her finish up practice after my own was over with, her breath, her smell, her laugh, her eyes, her love…a love never spoken out loud, but evident in every move she made around me.

But the most intense memories were in dream form and this morning was definitely the most intense of all of them. It was in dreams when she almost seemed alive again. If I was having a good one, we’d spend it talking and laughing…and kissing. Last night was a very good one. As strange as it sounds, I was starting to live for those moments when I was asleep.

Deep in thought, I turned my coffee cup in my hands. A short honk broke the silence and I startled and looked out the window. Sawyer’s Camaro was idling in the drive, just like it was every morning when she came to pick me up. I stood up and grabbed my bag after giving my mom a kiss on the head. She stood as well and walked with me to the door.

"Have a good day, Lucas." She smiled warmly, as her eyes drifted over my features.

I paused, letting her soak me in, a momentary sadness filling me that she still felt the need to do that every time we parted ways. "You too, Mom." I gave her a brief hug and opened the door to meet Sawyer.

"She could come in sometime," my mom said as I walked out the door. She peered her head outside and waved at Sawyer’s form in the car. Sawyer waved back. "I don’t bite," she finished.

I laughed and looked back at her. "I know, Mom. We’re just…running late. Another time, okay?"

She nodded and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I let her and then walked over to Sawyer’s car and climbed inside. Sawyer’s jet black hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail and my name across her back stood out clearly. I tried not to worry about that. The school had most definitely associated her with me now, since we were rarely apart, and if they picked on her for it, well, she never let me see more than the occasional frown and a quick swipe of an eye.

Her pale eyes looked past me, to my mom still watching from the door. She put the car in reverse and quietly said, "Your mom seems really nice."

I leaned back in the now familiar bucket seat and looked over at her. "She is. You should meet her sometime."

She backed into the road and shifted her car into drive. "Umm…sure. Maybe… sometime." She bit her lip. "Parents…make me nervous." She looked over at the smirk on my face and giggled, her ponytail bouncing with her laugh.

I shook my head and smiled at her. She’d resisted coming over to my house after school, even though I asked her nearly every day. She always said her parents wanted her home right away, after our "purity club" meetings, but I often wondered if she just didn’t want to come over, and was using that as her excuse. When she picked me up in the morning, she always honked once for me, but never came in. My mom wondered about that too and I tried to give her plausible explanations…which were almost always ‘we’re running late’. I’m sure my mom knew we had plenty of time for the relatively short drive, but she didn’t question my answer. She rarely did.

I turned my head to watch the town go by while Sawyer turned the music up. I wasn’t sure what Sawyer was so reluctant about, but I didn’t press her on it. If she really wanted to come over, she would. And aside from the weekends, which pretty much consisted of me becoming one with my couch, we did spend a lot of time together, at school and after.

We’d both stuck with the club; her, because her parents demanded it, for some reason, and me, because I liked spending time with her. There were meetings three times a week that usually turned into "troubled teen" group therapy sessions. Sawyer and I usually tuned them out as we whispered away in the corner of the room, much to Ms. Reynolds’s annoyance. Outside of those meetings, the club met twice a week at "events". These were usually practices for one of the many sports teams, where the teachers seemed to think the problems stemmed from. Unfortunately, these events brought me in close proximity with people who didn’t much care for me, i.e. Josh, Randy, Will and the rest of the football team. I hid on the back row of the bleachers with Sawyer, while the rest of the club members walked up and down the field, trying in vain to recruit more members.

I shook my head at the memory of Josh glaring at me during the last event that happened to be his practice session. He’d stared at me the entire time, like I’d amassed this group of people personally, just to bug him. If Coach hadn’t been there, eyeing me with almost as much interest as Josh, since he still hadn’t managed to corner me into that "talk" he’d wanted, I’m sure Josh would have tried to start something.

Sawyer noticed me shaking my head in the car. "You alright?" She seemed to ask me some form of this question nearly every day.

I smiled and looked back over at her. "Yeah, I’m good."

The only reason I put up with all of it, was to hang out more with her. Our little purity club gave me an extra hour and a half with her and that was one more hour and a half that I didn’t have to spend alone. She brought me so much comfort. I only wished I could return the favor.

She looked over at me with a furrowed brow. "Are you sure? Did you have a bad dream again?" She said that last part quietly and I cringed internally.

She had picked me up once when I’d awoken late from a particularly bad dream, no, nightmare was a more appropriate description. I’d still been a crying, blubbery mess when I’d shuffled out to her car. Mom had wanted to pull me that day, but I’d wanted to be with Sawyer, so I sucked it up and went to school. I’d only been able to tell her that I’d had a bad dream. Sawyer hadn’t asked for any more details. She didn’t need them. She knew that any dream I had that brought me to my knees, could only be about one thing – and she didn’t need an explanation of that.

I shook my head at her question. "No, I had a pretty good dream." I flushed as I said that, remembering my steamy fantasy. Sawyer looked at me curiously but thankfully didn’t ask for any explanations on that either.

"Good. I’d rather your dreams were nice. You should get a release somewhere."

I bit my lip and looked out the window as my blush deepened. Luckily, Sawyer was looking back out the windshield and didn’t notice. God, nice choice of words. I sighed softly, running through this morning again. That had been one real feeling dream. If separating from the dream hadn’t been painful, even though I tried to make it not be that way, I’d damn near say that dream had been…amazing. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the seat, reliving that moment…reliving Lil.

"Luc?"

Sawyer’s voice startled me and I lifted my head to look around the school parking lot. I looked over to where her pale eyes were studying me; her head cocked slightly, like she was wondering if I’d left my body for awhile. I wondered how long we’d been sitting here while I’d been reminiscing over being with Lillian again. My body had felt warm and safe in that dream. I shuddered a bit as the chill of the quiet car hit me and I wished I could crawl right back into that warm dream.

"Sorry…spacing out." She looked about ready to ask if I was okay again and I interrupted her by cracking open my door and saying, "Ready?"

She nodded and cracked her door as well. We both exited and made our way across campus to the main building for first period English. We still brought stares as people watched us, but no one said anything or did anything to bother us. We were noticed, almost distastefully, and then disregarded. I was relieved for that, but as I looked down on Sawyer, I wondered if things would be better for her if she distanced herself from me too. Maybe she’d have more of a social life here if she wasn’t always hanging around the pariah.

She looked back up at me and smiled warmly, seeming to not care in the least at the student body’s reaction, not if she got to walk with me. That’s what I liked to think that she thought anyway. Forgetting that I shouldn’t, for her sake, I slung my arm over her shoulder and pulled her tight to me as we walked. This morning had started pretty wonderfully and maybe I could relax today and let the rest of it be…well, not sucky would be an improvement. Sawyer stiffened under my almost intimate move, but then relaxed and slung her arm around my waist. Warmth seeped into me that strangely reminded me of my dream. Before I could analyze it further though, I noticed Josh and Will. I couldn’t help but notice them…they were blocking our path.

I stopped us and took a step in front of Sawyer, breaking our contact. Whatever these guys wanted, it had nothing to do with her and I wouldn’t let them hurt her. I may have no desire to fight them, but I would if it meant protecting her. Josh looked over my shoulder at Sawyer and made a disgusted face. I bristled at the look and struggled to keep my anger in check. I didn’t need to be the one starting something. I needed to get through this year in peace, with nothing too damaging on my record.

"What do you want, Josh?" My eyes flicked over to Will, wondering what role he’d play in all this. He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at me, but said nothing.

A small circle of students started to form around us, feeling the tension building in the air and silently I cursed. If Josh hadn’t planned on fighting me before, he might if he had an audience. But he wouldn’t want to get kicked off the football team and Coach had a strict policy on fighting. If he punched first…he was out. I straightened from where I’d unknowingly been crouching in anticipation. He wasn’t going to attack me, not like this anyway. He couldn’t afford to.

He sniffed and frowned as he seemed to realize this too. Then a devilish smile lit his face with a dark glow. I swallowed under that look, wondering what it meant. "Have a good day at school, Lucas." His brows rose meaningfully as his voice darkened to match his eyes. "You deserve it."

Then he turned and brushed past, bumping my shoulder harshly and jostling me back a step into Sawyer. I risked a quick glance at her and she looked about ready to go off on Josh, if not outright assault him. I didn’t want her getting into trouble for me and quickly shook my head at her when our eyes met. She understood and bit her lip to remain quiet, her arms crossing over her chest defiantly.

I looked back to see Will uncrossing his arms and straightening in his stance in front of me. He stood there with a crooked grin as he watched me. He didn’t make any threatening move towards Sawyer or me, just continued to stand there. Feeling uneasy but wanting to leave, I carefully walked around him.

I should have expected it, I really should have. I did know he had the maturity level of a Kindergartner, but I’d truthfully been more concerned over the dark expression on Josh’s face – that had definitely meant something – and I didn’t notice Will’s foot. I didn’t catch it rapidly snaking out to catch mine and he did have fast feet. That made him a good replacement for me on the football field. Unfortunately, it was also my downfall this morning…literally.

I caught the edge of his toes with mine and stumbled. He raised his foot higher and I felt myself losing balance. Before I lost it completely, a shoulder went under my arm and a hand steadied my chest. I fumbled a bit, but managed to not fall. My face heated anyway as the small circle still loitering, hoping for a fight, found my near trip-up hilarious.