Collision Course(26)
Author: S.C. Stephens

He looked as if he wanted to say more, his face wrestling with some emotion before returning to the air of professionalism he generally wore. He patted my shoulder a few times while I ridiculously nodded. Was I agreeing with him? If I was, it wasn’t voluntary. He nodded back and then walked from the kitchen, leaving me with my swirling thoughts. A vague remnant of my dream rose up in me, ‘I want you too, Lucas’, followed immediately by the sheriff’s haunting words that night, ‘they’re all gone.’ I closed my eyes and forced out everything, only allowing myself to listen to the sheriff’s vehicle as it pulled away.

Seeing the sheriff disturbed the remainder of my day. Sawyer noticed when she came by after school. Although she usually did ask if I was alright, and if my "vacation" was going okay, she surprisingly hounded me for a more honest answer when I’d given her the typical ‘fine’ response. Maybe it had been the look on my face, or maybe I’d freaked her out enough with the pills that she just wasn’t going to let generic answers fly anymore. Whatever the case, she’d kept up on sussing out my mood until I’d confessed about the sheriff’s visit.

It wasn’t as though the visit was bad, or he’d done or said anything to upset me, not really anyway, but seeing him again, and especially being alone with him, had opened up wounds from that evening, and the fresh scars hurt. Instead of going over the day’s homework with me, Sawyer had sat with me on the couch, holding my hand and telling me that she’d help me through it. That she wasn’t going anywhere and she’d help me through everything. She assured me that I only had one more school day and one last weekend, and then we’d be together for most of the day, almost every day. I clasped her hand gratefully, not sure what I’d do without her, and both looked forward to being at school with her again, and dreaded being at school with her again. I’d left sort of a mess behind with my spectacle in the gym. The students weren’t going to easily let me forget about that.

My mother said nothing about the sheriff’s surprise visit when she came home late that night, only asking me how my day went and asking me how I was. My answer to both was most predictably – fine. She nodded and accepted that and gave me a soft kiss on the head before yawning and walking down the hall to her room. I watched the spot where she’d left my sight for a long while before standing and heading to my room, hopeful that maybe I could bring Lil to me. I wasn’t really looking to continue what we’d been about to do this morning; I just needed her to talk to me. I needed her tonight. I needed her comfort.

My head had no sooner hit the pillow that I was suddenly sitting upright…and behind the wheel of a car. Confused, I started panicking. I didn’t drive, I didn’t ever drive. Not anymore, not since the night of the crash. Why was I behind the wheel? And whose car was it? I didn’t even own a car?

My hands tightened on the wheel and my heart surged painfully as thick drops splattered on the windshield. The rubber wiper squealed in protest as it flicked rapidly back and forth across the glass, more smearing the rain than removing it. I could barely make out the yellow slashes in the middle of the asphalt. I couldn’t peel my eyes away from the road and my breath started hitching as I lifted my foot off the gas and prepared to slam it on the brakes. I wanted to stop.

"Hey, I wouldn’t do that."

I twisted my head sharply to the right and let out a heavy exhale at who I saw seated next to me. "Darren?" He twisted his lips and smiled at me and I instantly started relaxing. It was just a dream. I should have instinctually known that, but usually in dreams you don’t. My grip on the wheel, the wheel of Darren’s Geo I suddenly realized, loosened. I took in a deep breath and tried to calm myself, looking back to the road and focusing on the yellow lines again.

"What are we doing here? I don’t drive Darren…ever." I tried to lift my foot off the gas again so the car would gradually slow to a stop, but I couldn’t raise my foot, and the car actually sped up.

Darren beside me chuckled and I glanced at him. "Yeah, I know Miss Daisy." His amusement softened to seriousness. "That’s why I’m here. I’ll stay with you, Lucas." He put his hand on my arm. "I’m with you, man."

I swallowed and focused on the road again, wishing I could control my dream right now, change the setting, slow the car…stop the car. I thought of slamming the brakes again and my foot lifted from the gas successfully.

Darren coughed beside me and pointed his finger at my foot and then shook his head side to side while wagging his finger. I scrunched my brows in confusion and frustration and dropped my foot back to the gas. He raised his eyebrows at me. "You can’t slam the brakes, Lucas. I know you want to, but you can’t. That’s how you lost control the first time." He shook his head at me again. "Did you learn nothing from License to Drive?"

I relaxed farther and even laughed a little. "Right. I almost forgot your theory that all of life’s lessons can be learned through watching eighties movies."

He chuckled beside me and I turned to watch his happy face, momentarily forgetting my horror at driving again. "That’s right." He held his hand up to me and started ticking off fingers. "You’ve got The Breakfast Club – everyone can learn to get along if they’re locked in a room long enough," he ticked off another finger while I laughed silently next to him, my eyes still glued to his, "Top Gun – face your fear head on and you’re sure to conquer it," he splayed his fingers out and sighed contently, closing his dark eyes, "and my personal favorite…Weird Science."

I frowned and cocked my head at him. I’d seen that movie before, and aside from kids turning a Barbie into the world’s most perfect woman, I didn’t see any profound meaning in it. "What is there to learn in Weird Science?"

He opened his eyes, the glint in them matching the devilishness of his grin. "Oh…the things Kelly LeBrock could teach me." I laughed heartily at that and shook my head. Darren twisted his lips at me while I was still laughing at him. "Speaking of women…what’s up with you and Lil?"

I took a hand off of the wheel and twisted even more, so my body was nearly facing him. "What do you mean?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Um, I think you know. A little meeting in a field, a bed suddenly appearing, clothes suddenly vanishing…you remembering any of this?"

I rolled my eyes and narrowed them at him. "You were supposed to butt out of those dreams."

He sighed slowly. "Luc…you can’t do this, man. You can’t be with her like that…not anymore."

"Why can’t I? It’s my dream…my head." My tone was getting a little irritated, but I couldn’t help it.

Darren shook his head, holding my gaze with his. "Because it’s stupid. You’ll only hurt yourself. All of this is stupid. You should be letting us go, not pulling us tighter."

I leaned into him, my free hand going to my chest. "You know what, my life kind of sucks! And your a**hole of a brother isn’t making anything easier. If I can get even just a moment of peace and comfort when I’m with my girlfriend, then I’m going to take all I can get!"

Darren’s face stormed up as he looked at his lap. "I’m gonna kick Josh’s ass for drugging you," he muttered. Lifting his head, he brought his intense gaze to my equally intense gaze. "But that doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t be hiding out with us in your dreams." He shook his head roughly as his eyes narrowed. "She’s not your girlfriend anymore! You can’t keep ignoring real relationships for Lil, for us – we’re dead, Luc. Let us be dead!"

Sudden and unexplainable anger shot through me. "I didn’t bring you here, Darren. If you don’t want to see me, then don’t show up!" I instantly regretted saying that, as I loved seeing him. I immediately cooled and wanted to take back my words, but Darren scowled and turned away from me, biting his lip to hold in his quick temper.

The scowl vanished from his mouth as it fell open slightly. He noticeably paled before slowly turning back to face me. With a soft voice he said, "Hey, man, I’m sorry."

My eyebrows drew to a point as I tried to figure out why he was sorry for my outburst. "What…why? I’m sorry, man, I shouldn’t have said that."

He slowly shook his head and pointed out the windshield. I startled, remembering that I wasn’t really in a nice dream, having a friendly spat with Darren. I was in a nightmare, driving along a wet, dark road – the wet, dark road. My head snapped around followed closely by my body and I harshly gripped the wheel with both hands, trying to focus on what I was doing. My heart shifted to triple time and my breath came in ragged pulls as I could easily make out a disturbingly familiar curve in the road through the rain-streaked windshield.

Darren’s voice echoed hauntingly at my side. "I’m sorry, this is the part you’re not going to like."

The car started to skim across the water and I instinctively slammed on the brakes.

Chapter 9

First Day, Round Two

I woke up screaming and throwing my hands out on the bed, trying to stop myself from going over that cliff again. My heart raced as I screamed over and over, not able to fully disassociate from that horrid nightmare. Warm arms scooped me up and a soft voice hushed in my ear repeatedly. Eventually my mother’s calm voice tore me into reality and I let the dream go, my screams shifting to sobs. God, I hated dreaming about driving. Even with Darren’s help…I hated dreaming about driving.

Mom crawled into bed with me and stayed there until she had to work the next morning. I embarrassingly clutched her tight, reluctant to let her leave, scared the nightmare would find a way to return and haunt me, even awake. She softly kissed my forehead and whispered that everything would be alright and she’d be back as soon as she could.

I stayed awake, staring at the cracks of my ceiling and begging my mind to stay blank. It didn’t. Flashes of rain and road and blood streaked my vision. Memories of screaming swirled in my brain, some Lil’s, some mine. I was still staring at the ceiling when Sawyer appeared in my door. I blinked as I looked over at her, wondering how long I’d been lying in bed, swirling in dark thoughts. She started to explain that she’d been knocking for forever, when she noticed the look on my face and immediately stopped talking.

"Luc? What is it?" She came to the edge of the bed and sat, brushing some hair off my forehead.

"Nothing…I’m fine." Even as I said it, I felt a tear dripping down my cheek. Her thumb brushed it off and she immediately crawled under the covers with me, slinging both arms around my neck.

"It’s okay, Lucas. It’s okay." Her soft voice cooed in my ear and any strength I had left in me failed. I caved into the despair that my nightmare had filled me with. My arms slung around her body and I sobbed. Heart wrenching sobs that I couldn’t hold back anymore. It was embarrassing and I hated doing it, but I couldn’t stop the overwhelming grief anymore than I could stop the stuttered breaths I was taking.

Sawyer never complained or tried to pull away from my ever tightening embrace. She slipped a hand into my hair and rubbed her other down my back in soothing patterns. Eventually, her voice and her calming touch soothed me to silence. Either that or I’d exhausted every tear in my body. Probably the latter.

With a few ragged breaths, and a quick swipe of my nose on my sleeve, I pulled back to look at her. She smiled warmly at me, her black hair pulled back into the childish pigtails that I’d seen on her that very first day of school. I lay back on my pillow and she propped herself up on an elbow, gazing down at me. I sniffled a couple times and looked away from her, embarrassed. I felt her fingers brush over my forehead again and then down to my cheek, turning me to look at her. With sheepish eyes, I did.