Collision Course(84)
Author: S.C. Stephens

She smiled wider and rested her head on my shoulder. "You’re lucky to have her, to have someone who loves you that much." She looked up at me after she said that, moisture in her eyes as well as adoration.

I swallowed at the remembered look of love on her face, but a slight smile came to my lips at the remembered look of love on Sawyer’s face. "I know." My smile shifted to a frown as I turned my back on Darren and Sammy to focus solely on Lil. Gently grabbing her arms, I looked down on her and searched her eyes. "I loved you, Lillian, I always loved you." I looked down at the ground and shook my head. "I wish I’d told you that while you were alive."

Her hand came up to my chin, lifting my head so I met her eye again. "I always knew how you felt, Lucas." A brilliant smile lit her entire face. "And I always loved you too."

I sighed as I looked over her beauty, on the inside and the outside. As her arms went around my waist, mine went around her shoulders, drawing her in tight. Into her hair, I told her, "You will always be my first true love and I’ll never forget you or stop loving you." I kissed her head before laying my cheek on it. "Some things never stop."

She shifted underneath me and I lifted my head to let her look up at me. Her eyes were moist again. "I feel the same, Luc. I’ve always felt the same." She leaned up and gave me a soft kiss and I closed my eyes, memorizing it. When she pulled away, she whispered, "You and I will be eternally connected but…I want you to have a good life, Lucas." I opened my eyes after she said that and she shook her head, a smile on her lips even as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I want you to live and be happy…you and Sawyer both."

I brushed the tear away with my thumb. "I wish you’d known her. You would have really liked her."

She nodded, her smile widening. "Yeah, I wish I’d known her too." She laughed softly and my core brightened at hearing the sound; I’d never forget that sound. "Of course, if I’d known her…you wouldn’t." She gave me a twisted smile and slightly shook her head as she added, "At least, not like you do now."

I looked down, feeling that guilt that I hadn’t felt earlier, just slightly starting to creep up on me. Being okay while talking about sex with Darren was one thing, standing right in front of Lil while she referenced it, quite another. "Lil…"

Her hand came back up to my chin, making me stare at her again. "Don’t, Luc. It was meant to be. I wanted you with her, from nearly the beginning." She gave me a pointed glance. "There’s a reason you and I could never…go there." She shook her head. "We weren’t supposed to. It was always supposed to be you and Sawyer." She shrugged her shoulders. "You’re both alive and in love, and I don’t begrudge you for either of those things."

I sighed as I looked over her clear, untroubled blue eyes. "You’re right…you always were right."

She smiled and laughed lightly again. "I know." She bit her lip and tilted her head to the side. "I’ll miss you."

My arms around her shoulders tightened as I pressed her to me, nearly squeezing the non-existent life from her. "I’ll miss you too."

We held each other for long moments, while I memorized everything that I could about her: the peachy smell of her body wash, the way her pale hair caught the lights, the feel of her slender, but curvy body against mine, the way her fingers felt as she lightly rubbed them along my back. I inhaled deep, tucking it all away to the corner of my brain that would always belong to her.

My eyes were wet as we pulled apart. I raised a corner of my lip, feeling the end of this goodbye approaching, not that I’d say that word to any of them. Our arms simultaneously slipped from each other’s bodies down to our hands. Our fingers laced together as we leaned into the other, heads pressed together. "Until we meet again then?" she said quietly, feeling the approaching goodbye as well.

I smiled and lightly nodded against her head. "Yes…whenever that may be."

"I hope it’s a lifetime from now, Lucas." She leaned up to brush our lips together. I reveled in the warmth of her kiss, feeling both the love and friendship behind it. She met my eye when she pulled away. "We’ll be waiting for you."

As our bodies pulled apart, our fingers finally separating, Darren and Sammy stepped up to Lillian and each took one of her hands. She looked at each in turn and then the three of them turned to smile at me. I looked at each friend, at each loved one and slowly exhaled.

"You will always be a part of me…all of you." My eyes watered uncontrollably, and the tears finally did make it down my cheeks, but my smile was exultant and the overriding emotion I felt was joy – joy that I’d known them, joy that I’d loved them and joy that, in my own way, I’d always be connected to them.

They all beamed at me, all with tears either in their eyes or in Sammy’s case, dripping off her chin. Darren sniffed and reached out to clap my shoulder. "Just don’t let that part…be all of who you are. Stay in the real world, Lucas, you belong there." He nodded at me, clutching my shoulder before releasing it.

I nodded back at him and then at each of them. "I know. I will. But I’m keeping you all with me," I patted my chest, "here…always." As more tears dripped off my cheeks, I slowly shook my head. "I’m a better person for knowing each of you. Thank you, for the friendship you gave me. I’ll never forget it."

We each hugged again, longer this time than before, and then Darren grabbed each girl’s hand and started leading them down the hall, to the main doors highlighted in that slightly twisting paper curtain. I stayed standing in the same spot I’d been before, a huge smile on my tearstained face, as in my watery vision, I watched Darren sling his arms around Sammy and Lil’s shoulders and pull them in tight. He kicked at some of the papers and streamers on the floor, launching some up to land on the girls. They all three laughed, the sound nearly breaking my heart with the joy it gave me.

As they reached the door, they started to fade into a sort of transparency. When I could just barely make out their hazy appearance, Lil turned her head to me. Over Darren’s shoulder she smiled warmly, winked, and then nodded. I returned her warm smile and her nod, and just as they finally vaporized into the stale air of that hallway that we’d walked countless times in real life, a warm hand grabbed mine.

I looked down on my black-haired angel with the most beautiful shade of gray eyes. Sawyer looked up at me with clear love and adoration on her face. I smiled at her and felt the familiar, calming comfort that she always gave me. She squeezed my hand tight and leaned into my side. Wiping my tears dry with her fingers, she whispered, "Come on, Lucas…it’s time to wake up now."

I nodded, sighing contently, and then, for the first time since the accident that had taken my beloved friends from me…I completely woke up.

***The End***