Collision Course(9)
Author: S.C. Stephens

I took a seat in the back of class and ignored the stares around me. As the bell rang and the teacher stirred from the near asleep position at his desk, I felt eyes on the right side of me. A couple girls were staring at me relentlessly – and not just the curious or baleful stares I was used to getting. No, these two held…determined stares, and I mentally sighed. Here we go again.

"Lucas," one whispered. I looked over at the strawberry blonde and recognized her as Eliza Wood. Darren had had a crush on her in the fifth grade. She’d dated him for a day and then left him for a sixth grader; he’d been crushed.

I smiled at the memory but didn’t show it on my face. I only glanced over at her while the teacher went about prepping class, writing something in large letters on the white board, the smell of dry erase markers suddenly filling the small room.

Eliza looked up at the teacher and then back to her friend. I recognized the short Latino girl too – Gabriela Hernandez. Sammy had once nearly socked the girl for spreading rumors about Darren sleeping with her. It was the only time I’d ever seen Sammy really mad. Darren had found the whole thing, well, his words were "effing hot".

Eliza leaned towards me and I suppressed the urge to lean away. "So…Luc, tell us…what do you remember?" She raised her eyebrows expectantly, like I was suddenly going to lean into her and confess all of my innermost secrets. I resisted every urge in my body to scowl and tell her to f**k off.

I exhaled slowly and looked back down to my desk. I didn’t talk about this, to anyone. I’d never said anything to my mom. I’d never said anything at the hospital. I’d never even said anything to the cops. I had nothing to say to anyone, except, what I was about to say to the nosey girl beside me.

"Nothing, Eliza. I remember nothing."

She sighed exasperatingly. "Oh come on, Luc, no one believes that. I mean, how do you forget something like that?"

Gabriela popped up beside her. "Right, that should be like, seared in your brain or something." I clenched my jaw as her tone got thoughtful. "Unless…you were just too wasted to remember? That makes sense." I glared up at them as they nodded to each other knowingly.

"I was not drinking!" My tone was heated…and a little louder than was necessary. Every head in the room swung around to me and I felt my cheeks flush. Great.

"Lucas West." The teacher, Mr. Davis, a graying man with thick glasses and a wide stomach, looked down at me from the front of class. Crossing his arms over his chest he practically glared at me while Eliza and Gabriela giggled quietly. "So glad you could join us today. How about keeping it down while you’re here?"

He raised an eyebrow at me and I quickly looked back to my desk, blocking out the amused voices in the room. "Yes, sir." I usually didn’t say "sir" to teachers, but it was an easy way to slip back into their good graces and really, I just wanted to sit here and quietly disappear.

The girls snickered beside me, but didn’t ask anymore questions. It wouldn’t have mattered if they did, I was done answering them. My answers never mattered anyway. I glanced at the chair to my left. In English, Sawyer had been in that seat and I suddenly wished I was back in that class, even with Will and Randy there. Her presence was just so calming.

Currently, a pale, blonde guy named Simon was sitting there, ignoring me. That seat was supposed to have Darren. This was our class together this year – just us guys. We would have used this class to catch up, without the constant interruptions of our beautiful, but chatty girlfriends, and plan "outings."

Darren was great at finding things to do in this small town, and this would have been the class we’d tune out to discuss it. I pictured him over there, an annoyed look on his face at hearing the dribble the teacher was spouting about the civil war, and in a hushed voice, going over his plan to abduct his neighbor’s cat and see if the mewling creature could find its way home from a mile away. I had quickly talked him out of that plan last year.

The rest of class went by quietly, with no one else brave enough to ask me anything. I’m pretty sure they’d all heard my answer anyway. Again, I let most of the room filter out before I left it – less awkward moments that way. I headed back upstairs to the second floor, where my Philosophy class was. It was the last door in the hallway, and I slowly trudged towards it. There were stares and whispers in the hall. I vaguely heard my outburst in class repeated back to me and of course, by the time I made it through the dwindling crowd of people, the story had been altered so that I had shouted, "I was drinking."

I sighed and pushed it from my mind. I couldn’t stop the gossip train and I couldn’t alter its course. These people needed a villain and my survival had ensured them one. We all have to play our parts, right?

I paused with my hand on the door to my third period class, suddenly nervous. Not for the stares that I was getting more and more used to, no, my nerves were for the fact that Lillian and I were supposed to have this class together. I’d signed up for it, because the class looked good on college applications. Lil had signed up with me, because she loved the subject. She’d even had lofty goals of becoming a counselor some day. I wasn’t sure what demons were going to haunt me when I opened this door. I turned the knob with my dream last night in my head; maybe it wouldn’t be so bad picturing her again. I had sort of enjoyed seeing glimpses of Sammy and Darren today, maybe seeing Lil like this would be pleasant.

I quickly opened the door and stepped through. I’d made good time and the class was only half full. I halfway expected a specter of Lil to hover in the middle of the room, but she didn’t. The room was empty; a generic high school classroom with mass-produced posters of Socrates and Freud on the walls.

I hurried to take a seat in the back while they were still open. Luckily, our school adopted a first come, first serve policy on seating. Students started piling in, and as I could have predicted, none of my former teammates walked through the door, choosing to get easier A’s elsewhere. But a pleasant surprise did enter as the bell rang.

Sawyer hopped through the door right as the obnoxious thing sounded and she quickly sprinted to a seat. She looked a little winded as she plopped down in her now traditional spot on my left. Her gray eyes turned to sparkle at mine as a playful smile curved her lips. She’d known I’d be here. She’d known we’d have this class together.

I smiled as I watched her work on calming her breath. It was sort of a long way from the Science building to all the way back up here in the main building’s second floor. I leaned in close to her. "You didn’t plan your schedule very well."

She frowned as she took a couple deep breaths. "I planned it just fine."

I smirked at her. "You just went from the second floor, to the farthest building away, and then right back to the second floor. How is that good planning?"

Her lips twisted as she thought of a response. "I didn’t sign up for gym this year." Her head indicated the path she’d taken. "That just made up for it." I shook my head at her and she sighed and shrugged. "I registered late. They gave me what was still open."

The smirk left my face as I realized that she was taking spots that had been vacated…by my friends. I turned back to the front of the room, suddenly seeing that vision of Lillian – right over the top of Sawyer. It was too much, too hard. I felt the tears forming and the overwhelming desire to run. I closed my eyes and took long, deep breaths. I felt Sawyer’s hand on my arm and felt that peaceful heat that she seemed to generate, all the way through my jacket. Not caring who was watching at the moment, I reached up and grabbed her hand with my own. I squeezed it, and for long minutes, we sat in the back row, our hands clasped together in the aisle way between us.

I finally felt normal enough to open my eyes. The teacher had already begun class and was taking attendance; my name was last, as usual. While I waited, still clutching Sawyer’s hand, I felt the stares around me. I felt them and ignored them. I heard the whispers too and I heard Sawyer’s name repeated in those whispers. I felt bad that my attempt to keep her out of the gossip circle this morning, by not doing exactly what I was doing, had failed horribly. If yesterday hadn’t already, I’d finally dragged her into my misery.

Feeling guilty, I dropped her hand. I glanced over at her and thought she looked hurt for a moment. The look faded as she met my eye though, so I couldn’t be sure. She only gave me a small, reassuring smile…and it did reassure me. The peace in her gaze washed over me and I felt myself returning to normal, my previous painful moment pushed back. I couldn’t think about Lil here just yet, not like I could the others. My dream had brought every detail of her right back to the surface. She was crystal clear in my head and memories of us right now would tear me to pieces. It was too hard. With her, it was just too hard.

I missed hearing my name being called the first time and the teacher had to repeat it. I looked back and Mr. Varner was staring right at me, he obviously knew I was here, but was waiting for a response. "Here," I muttered and he smirked at me.

Mr. Varner was the male equivalent of Ms. Reynolds: young, stylish and as Sammy had informed me once – "hot as hell". There were rumors around the school that he was sort of a playboy, and from the thick, dark hair, piercing blue eyes and overall movie star good looks, I could see that. Darren had told me once that he’d heard Mr. Varner "dated" students sometimes. I didn’t think that was true, and certainly no one had ever caught him, or accused him of anything, but the girls in the class were all staring at him like he might try and sweep them off their feet at any moment. While the gossip floating around this teacher was more socially acceptable than my gossip, I thought maybe of all the teachers in the school, he would understand my situation and be all the more compassionate for it.

I was wrong.

He berated me for a good five minutes on ditching class the first day of school, and then loaded the entire class down with a paper due by Friday, which he highly indicated was my fault. The girls in the classroom never lost their adoring look for him, only hardened their glances at me, like I had actually given them the assignment. I decided that no amount of Philosophy studying would ever help me understand the female gender – they were just not understandable.

After class, Sawyer walked around her desk to come over and stand by me. As most of the bodies shuffled out of the room, she indicated the door with her head, her long, dark hair flowing over her shoulder at the movement. My eyes rested on her jacket, my jacket, and I hoped my name was still covered on her back, for her sake.

"Come on."

She put her hand on my elbow and gently pulled, and I had the sudden feeling that she’d really wanted to grab my hand again. I debated grabbing hers, that had felt so nice during class, but I was loathe to create more problems for her, and only a handful of students had seen our intimate contact. Us walking down the hall hand in hand, even if it was just a friendly gesture, would be a neon announcement in this school. I didn’t want her being scrutinized like that, so I scooted away from her touch and started walking towards the door. She frowned slightly, but followed me.

"Where are you off to next?" I asked, as we started walking side by side down the hall.

She grinned crookedly at me. "I need to make a pit stop at my locker and then we have fourth together."