Dare to Submit (Dare to Love #4)(17)
Author: Carly Phillips

Isabelle immediately reached for Gabe’s hand. “I think I want to know. That way I can plan the nursery and layette.” Her voice pitched in excitement.

And for the first time ever, a feeling of extreme longing overtook Amanda.

NINE

Amanda and Decklan didn’t talk about his family, but he seemed content after the breakfast. His brother and wife left, and they spent the rest of the rainy day watching movies on Netflix and just hanging out like a normal couple. Which scared her, because she enjoyed their time together so much, going home would be difficult this time.

He didn’t bring up the subject of her leaving, and neither did she. Instead, they ordered in dinner and enjoyed one another in bed. He cuffed her to the headboard, his dark blue gaze hot on hers, as he brought her to orgasm after orgasm before filling her body with his. Prior to Decklan, she’d been satisfied with meaningless encounters, but they connected on a deep, intimate level. One that’d grown stronger after she’d met and spent time with his family.

As the sunlight streamed through his bedroom window, Amanda studied his handsome face, memorizing each feature. She wished she had better answers to what she wanted. Needed. Instead, she had him for a little while longer.

She leaned close, about to brush a kiss over his lips and wake him up, when, without warning, he came awake with a yell, jerking into an upright position.

“Are you okay?” she asked, reaching for him. He withdrew, lying back down but not touching her.

“Yeah. I was dreaming.” He grew silent, obviously remembering.

“Can you talk about it?” Would he?

Decklan stared into the face of the woman who’d made him feel again. She waited patiently, her beautiful face watching him, staring at him, thoughtfully. Expectantly.

He didn’t owe her anything, least of all an explanation, yet he found himself starting to speak. “I was dreaming about the night my parents died.” He hadn’t had this dream in years. It had begun when he was nineteen and had suddenly found himself dealing with shocking and profound loss.

“They were killed driving home from Gabe’s college graduation. We’d all taken separate cars because I wanted to go out with my friends. Lucy wanted to ride in the front, so she came with me, and Gabe stayed at school to hang with his friends one last time.” Decklan swallowed, but his throat was dry.

The memory assaulting him hurt his chest, impacting his breathing. “If I hadn’t wanted to go out, we’d have been in the same car. An eighteen-wheeler barreled into them. They didn’t have a chance.”

“Oh God.” Amanda placed a hand on his shoulder.

He didn’t flinch, finding unexpected comfort in her touch. “Afterward, I felt so out of control. I’d have these horrible nightmares. That I was in the car and being suffocated by wreckage. I’d wake up thrashing and screaming.” Gabe used to shake him back to reality, and he’d be covered in sweat, breathing hard.

He blew out a harsh breath. “That’s what happened this morning. That dream.” He hung his head, not wanting to think about that suffocating feeling of losing everyone and everything. At least, that’s what it had felt like at the time and what he experienced over and over during each awful dream.

“Decklan?” Amanda asked, her sweet voice ripping something open inside him. He didn’t know how to handle this kind of emotional discussion or the turmoil beating at him.

“Would you rather be alone?” she asked into the silence surrounding them.

He reached out a hand and grasped her wrist. “No.” She’d be leaving this afternoon anyway. His heart sped up inside his chest at the thought of her gone. Though it would be a hell of a lot easier to let her leave, he couldn’t. He needed her.

Admitting that ripped apart something inside him. Before he could allow himself to think things through, he had her flat on her back, his naked and now fully aroused body coming down on top of her.

He met her gaze. Her lips parted, eyes glazed. She was with him. He gritted his teeth and thrust deep, her tight walls clenching around him. She raised her hands and grasped the headboard of her own volition. He pounded into her. She lifted her hips, meeting him with each thrust, taking him deeper.

He wasn’t going to last. Not when he felt the familiar tingle in the base of his spine, signaling he was close. But he wasn’t coming alone. He slid his hand between them and pinched her clit. She threw her head back and called out his name, her body convulsing, her orgasm a hell of a sight to see. Seconds later, he came hard, losing himself inside her warm, willing body, all thoughts of the past gone, for now.

Breathing hard, he rolled to his side and curled her into him. This felt good. Right.

“Decklan, just so you know, I’m on the pill.”

Her words slammed into him, shocking him to his core. “Shit. I didn’t even think.” He’d been too far gone emotionally. “I’m sorry. I swear I’m clean.”

“The club requires tests. I know.” Which explained why she was so much calmer than him. She was thinking clearly.

She touched his cheek. “It’s okay.”

But he broke into a sweat, knowing how stupidly irresponsible he’d been. For a man who prided himself on control, he’d certainly had none a few minutes ago.

He managed a nod. “Okay.”

They lay in silence, his heart beating hard, the nightmare and what he’d stupidly done torturing him.

“Hey.” She curled into him, and he pulled her back into his arms. “I’m here.”

He knew. And maybe that’s why he was able to fall back to sleep. Later, they woke up and, by silent agreement, took separate showers because they were starving and needed to go eat, not get distracted. Neither spoke of his nightmare, for which he was grateful.

While she was in the shower, he’d picked up her phone and programmed his number into it, then added her cell phone number to the contacts in his phone. Decklan was invested in her now, and he didn’t want to risk another month lapse once she returned to DC and he had too much time to think.

They’d returned to the same restaurant they’d eaten at with Isabelle and Gabe and ordered breakfast. While waiting for the food, she’d excused herself to use the ladies’ room. The waiter arrived with their dishes just as Amanda returned.

As she headed his way, he found himself unable to draw his gaze from the sexy sway of her hips. He had it bad and he knew it. Maybe it had been Gabe’s and Isabelle’s easy acceptance of Amanda, or maybe it had been how perfectly she’d meshed with them that had sealed the deal. But this was no longer casual for him. At all.