Dare to Submit (Dare to Love #4)(19)
Author: Carly Phillips

“Isabelle did what?” How had she been in touch with Amanda when Decklan hadn’t?

Gabe laughed at that. Decklan hadn’t even realized he’d said that last part out loud.

“Apparently, the women exchanged phone numbers while we weren’t paying attention. And since Isabelle seems to think she’s the one, she wants to get to know her better.” Gabe shrugged. “Regardless, it’s not like you to let some chick mess with your head.”

Decklan’s head was spinning, but he held on to the thread of conversation enough to answer his brother’s stupid comment. “Amanda’s not just some chick,” he snapped back.

Which had been the problem from the minute he’d laid eyes on her.

Gabe chuckled. “Yeah, well, I already figured that out.”

“You always were the quick one,” Decklan muttered.

Decklan took more time, thought things through before acting. Yet Amanda, who he’d known a short time, already had him rethinking what he believed in and thought he wanted out of life. Everything that had been enough for him suddenly wasn’t. He no longer wanted to be a man trapped by the fear of loss. And he desired more than the solitary existence he’d carved out for himself so far.

Hell, he wanted what Gabe and Isabelle had, something Decklan had discovered during the short breakfast he’d spent with his family and with Amanda.

“What’s changed?” Gabe asked.

A man of few words, Gabe always left Decklan to sort out the meaning of the question for himself and come up with his own answer to whatever spin or interpretation he chose.

Decklan lowered himself onto the wooden bench, and Gabe joined him. He thought of his chosen life, his lack of dating, the first time he’d gone to a BDSM club and discovered a lifestyle that suited him. Not one he’d shared with his older sibling.

“After Mom and Dad died, I never wanted to give up control—of my emotions.” And more.

Gabe nodded. “I get that. I lived life the same way.”

As Decklan knew, Gabe had tried marriage once and suffered a tragic loss. Afterwards, Gabe had chosen women he couldn’t possibly love and kept his relationships cold. Until Isabelle.

“And control works for a while. Until you realize it doesn’t keep you warm at night. Neither do women you tie up and never let get close,” Gabe added in a knowing voice, forcing Decklan to meet his gaze.

“I never thought we had that in common,” Decklan said, still surprised.

“We never talked about it.” Gabe shrugged. “You think I didn’t know you have the same control issues I do?”

“I didn’t realize we dealt with them the same way.”

Gabe inclined his head. “Whatever works works. Until it doesn’t anymore. Are you still dreaming?” he asked.

Decklan groaned at the reminder of this weekend. “Just started up again.”

“Because of her. Because she’s gotten in. She makes you emotionally vulnerable, like you were after Mom and Dad died.”

Decklan shivered at the reminder. “How do you figure this shit out so easily?”

“I’m older. Wiser. Lived through more before I came out the other end.”

He admired his brother, he really did. “And how did you manage that? Coming out the other end, I mean?”

“Once Iz got through my walls, she was in. My problem was keeping her there. I sense you have the same problem?”

Decklan nodded. “How’d you get Isabelle to come around?”

“Different situation. Isabelle needed to know she could trust me to let her live and breathe, to be independent. Then she needed for me to really let her in. That’s not your problem. You’ve got a woman living in another city.”

“And she keeps everything wrapped tight inside her.” Which meant she was keeping herself emotionally apart from him.

Gabe rose and paced the empty locker room. “Do you think she’s hiding something? I can find out anything you want to know. Then you can make the problem go away.”

Decklan rolled his eyes. “I’m a cop. I can do the same thing. But no, I don’t think she’s hiding something big. She’s just got issues. Who doesn’t?”

“Then go all out. Balls to the wall. See if you can win her over. If that doesn’t work, back off and wait for her to come to you.” He paused. “And if that doesn’t work, lure her to Fantasy Island.” Gabe grinned and flicked the damned towel again.

Decklan jumped up and out of the way in time. “In other words, try everything?”

Gabe grinned. “You said it, brother.”

Decklan didn’t know which approach to try first. He’d spooked her the other day by changing the rules. Well, hell. He’d spooked himself. But now that he knew what he wanted, he had no problem taking risks.

And Amanda just might be the biggest risk of all.

* * *

Amanda finished scheduling Brad’s speaking engagement at an upcoming conference and updated his calendar both online and by hand. She had a to-do list a mile long, and her mind wasn’t on task. How could it be?

Amanda couldn’t get Decklan out of her mind. The confused man who’d lost his parents and locked himself behind impenetrable walls. And the heartbreaking man who had trusted her and let her in. He played her body well, but the truth was, in a short time, he’d gotten into her head as well. As for her heart…

Her cell phone rang before she could finish that thought, and she grabbed it without checking the screen. “Hello?”

“Morning, sunshine.”

Amanda’s skin warmed at the low, sexy tone of Decklan’s voice. Then her heart skipped a few beats. “How did you get my number?”

“I have my ways. I wasn’t letting you disappear for a month this time.”

She hesitated, then said, “I’m glad.”

“Good to know, considering how we left things.”

She swallowed hard. “Yes, I believe I asked for time.”

“Time will only let you think too hard. So how have you been keeping busy?” he asked, changing the subject. Smart man, she thought.

“Working. Lunch with some girlfriends. The usual.”

“Well, that’s the thing. I don’t know what your usual is. And I’d like to.”

She panicked at the thought but only because she couldn’t imagine her two lives colliding. But it was only days and she missed him already. “What are you thinking?”

“That I have time off coming to me and I’d like to come to visit.”