Dark Secrets (Dark Secrets #1)(118)
Author: A.M. Hudson

I drew a breath to quieten my heart, then stepped out to show the girls my dress.

“Oh my God!” Emily jumped up and ran to me. “Ara, you look like a princess.”

Alana shook her head, walking slowly over. “No way, she looks like an angel.”

“Look at the way it sets off her eyes. They’re bluer than the sky against that dress, Ara.” Emily ruffled the layers of my skirt, then sighed. “I wish I could find a dress like this.”

“You will. Hey, why don’t we all go shopping next week? We’ll find something just as perfect for you,” I said.

Emily nodded eagerly. “I’m in.”

Alana cringed. “I’d rather not. I hate shopping.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah, I mean, not hate it, but I’d rather do other things,” she said.

I shook my head. “I’m sure you and I are kindred spirits, Lani.”

“Perhaps.” She shrugged. “Except I have better taste in boys.”

As I turned away, chuckling softly, I caught my reflection in the window; the sky was dark, and though the howling wind and the pattering rain outside made my stomach sink—for fear there might be a storm on the way—I saw only a smile on the face of the dark-haired beauty in the glass.

“Oh my God, Ara!” Emily grabbed the price tag, her mouth gaping. “Was this dress really a thousand dollars?”

Crud! My shoulders rolled forward. “Actually, yes. David bought it for me.”

“What?” Alana picked up the tag and flipped it over, searching for a sale price, I guess.

“He wanted me to feel special. I tried to stop him, but he did it anyway.” And without that cheeky grin distracting me, I found it so much easier to be mad at him.

Emily sat down on my bed, her gaze distant, hands folded into her lap. “I can’t believe it, Ara. I never thought I’d see the day when David Knight fell in love.”

“Did you not think he was capable?” I asked.

“No. I’m sorry. I didn’t. I was sure that, ten years from now, when we met for our high school reunion, he’d be America’s most eligible bachelor.”

She had no idea how right she was. Ten years from now, I’d be so much older than him, and our high-school-sweetheart-romance would be a memory I thought about when I was alone. “He might still be,” I added with a light giggle. “Just because we’re in love now doesn’t mean we’re gonna get married or anything.” Only, I knew we would—if things were different. We loved each other enough to commit to a lifetime together, but I just couldn’t commit to eternity—and David couldn’t commit to a life.

“Are you serious?” Emily stood up. “He spends a thousand dollars on a dress, because he wants you to feel special, and you’re not sure if you’re going to marry him?”

I sighed, feeling utterly defeated. I wished I could tell her the truth. I knew she’d understand—be able to give me advice and take some of the burden of life and death decisions off my shoulders. If it just slipped out, if I just said it, right here, right now, maybe David wouldn’t be that mad with me—maybe he’d understand that I needed someone to talk to. And if Emily helped steer my decision toward becoming immortal, then David would only be grateful, right?

I opened my mouth and, as Alana sat down in my desk chair, with my pillow in her lap, the squeaky hinge woke me to reality. I snapped my big gob shut.

Emily squinted, studying my face. “There’s more to it, isn’t there?”

“More to what?” I shrugged casually and started untying my dress.

“Is it…are you still in love with Mike?”

“What? I never said I was in love with him.”

“Then, I don’t understand?”

Of course she couldn’t. How could anyone? David was perfect. Why would I not want to marry him? “What’s to understand, Em? David and I—we’re in love, but we want different things in life.” I grabbed a shirt off the end of my bed. “Eventually, we’ll have to go our separate ways. We both know that. David understands.”

“Who are you trying to convince, Ara? Us, or yourself?” Emily asked.

I held my dress in front of my chest, pulled the shirt over my head and, once covered, stepped out of the dress and threw it on the bed. “What does it matter? It’s not like you’re losing him, Emily.”

She shook her head. “It matters because I care about him. We’ve been friends for years, Ara, and I’ve never seen him like this. He’s happy. And it was like he knew you were coming—like he predicted it, or something, because, about a month before we even met you, he changed—became the David everyone else can tolerate.”

About the time I arrived at Dad’s. “So?”

“So, he smiles. He laughs,” Emily continued. “And the only time that hasn’t been true, since the moment he finally asked you out, was the day of Nathan’s funeral. What’s going to happen to him if you don’t love him like he loves you?”

Her ignorance just made me insanely mad. “Who says I don’t?”

“You just said you had no plans to marry him. Ara—” She pointed to my door, “—that boy is practically picking out goddamn rings. You have no idea how lucky you are.”

“I do. Actually.” I sighed, dropping my arms to my sides as I sat on the bed, wishing I could fall into her shoulder and cry hysterically. “I hate that we can’t be together. More than you know. But it isn’t my decision to make. Not really. There are outside factors stopping us from being together.”

“Why should it matter? When you love someone, you give up everything for that,” she said.

I kind of laughed. I didn’t know Emily went so deep. Everything she said was true, though, and it hurt. I just wasn’t brave enough to risk everything for love. My mother taught me better than that—taught me to follow my head, because the heart could lead a girl down paths that may destroy her life. I just wanted to forget about decision-making for the summer; just wanted to enjoy the time I had with David and maybe, somewhere in time passing, the answer would just come to me. “That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard, Emily.”

She opened her mouth and drew a long breath. “You’re just too blind to see the logic.”

“Or maybe too sensible.”

“Guys—” Alana ditched a pillow between us. “Stop fighting.”