Dark Secrets (Dark Secrets #1)(138)
Author: A.M. Hudson

“Yes.”

“Don’t try to justify it, David.” I hopped down off the desk and leaned on my dresser—away from him. “You working for two weeks before you leave has no bright side.”

“Everything has a bright side.”

I raised a brow at him, then looked away, scoffing internally.

“You will be happy again, one day.” David’s voice softened as he whispered in my ear, suddenly beside me. I spun into his arms and let my head fall against his chest.

“I wish you could stay for just a few more years.”

His arms tightened ever so slightly around my shoulders. “I do too, my love, but even if I could stay with you, why would I? So I can watch you fall in love with someone else, or see you miss your chance?” I looked up to see his jaw stiffen and his eyes narrow. “I don’t know which is worse.”

“I still won’t promise you goodbye, David.”

“You will—” he nodded, “—because you can’t promise me eternity. And one day, I know there’ll be some boy who’ll come along and sweep you off your feet, just as I have.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I won’t let that happen.”

“And I will not let you lose your chance at love, at life, Ara.” His voice rose an octave. “When you feel it—that pull toward love, I want you to take it. I want you to go with it.”

“But I’ll never truly love another—not the way I love you.”

“But it will be enough,” he said. “And you can have your life; you can watch your babies grow, become an old lady and—” he smiled, “—get arthritis.”

“Somehow that all seems kinda silly now.” I rolled my eyes at myself.

“But it’s not silly, my love. It’s not silly at all.” His eyes softened, his thumb gently waking the hairs on my face, calling them to stand on pleasant ends. “Our love is a gift, Ara. It’s more intense and inexplicable than any love I’ve ever known, and it will always be a part of us.”

“Just not a physical part,” I said solemnly.

“Love is stronger than the physical being. I don’t need to feel your lips, your touch, or to hear your words to know you will always love me. And you know that, too, deep inside.”

“But I’ll feel another’s. And so will you. If I can’t bear that thought—the thought of you touching anyone—” I placed his hand over my heart, “—how can you possibly bear to think of me being with someone else?”

He laughed out a breath. “It makes me feel hollowed out in the pit of my stomach. But what choice do I have? I am a mourner without tears, a wild stallion locked in a stable—powerless to change my position.”

“I’m sorry, David.” I looked down.

“I know you are, Ara.” He hooked his finger under my chin and rolled my face upward. “But you should not have to apologise for the desires of your heart.”

“My heart should learn to shut up.”

“I disagree. I love you the way you are. Never change that.” He touched my chest.

“Do you…” I looked up into his green, loving eyes. “Do you think we’ll ever stop missing each other, or that maybe, one day, you’ll be able to forget me?”

“Forget you?” His tone dropped all comprehension. “Do you not understand? My love, I won’t just miss you. I will exist as if I were a rose without the grace of rain. There will be no peace for me—ever.”

“Then why?” I pushed away from him and took a step back. “Why did Fate bring us together? Why did we find each other only to be forced apart?”

“We found each other, my love, but maybe Fate had nothing to do with it. What if we just weren’t meant to be?”

“So we were a mistake—a cosmic glitch?”

“Perhaps, but, if so, you are the one mistake I will never regret.”

“I don’t want to be somebody’s mistake.”

“Cosmic glitch then,” he said kindly, and I smiled. But, sadly, I knew exactly what he meant, because I felt the same way. Neither of us would recover from this, but it’d been worth all the pain. I knew a love more perfect and more devastating than any other feeling I’d ever had in my life, and I owed that to this man, who had very unfortunate timing.

Our eyes met in a standstill of anguish and indecision. Neither of us could find the words to make everything okay—it would never be okay.

The school bell ringing in the distance broke the silence in my room. It seemed so stupid to me then; school, life, everything in the wake of the thought that I’d lose David forever. Going to school, living life like normal was an empty, silly idea.

“You better call the school and tell them you’re sick today,” David said, standing across the room, his shoulder against the window frame. “Roll call will start soon. They’ll alert your dad if you’re not there.”

I didn’t even see him move. I wanted to walk over and touch my fingertips to his spine where the morning light shadowed and highlighted the contours, but I wasn’t sure why he walked away—or if he wanted me to touch him. I stayed motionless, watching David’s thoughts fall away from the hold of his gaze and onto the world below my room, while my thoughts consumed the empty space around us. I didn’t care that he could hear them, and I didn’t care that if Vicki came home early from shopping she’d find David and I ditching school. Nothing mattered to me in the same way it used to. It all just seemed inconsequential with the idea that these were the last touches of light I would ever see on his skin. I would never know the summer sun glistening behind his emerald eyes again, never see it kiss his hair with tones of gold, and never again feel it warm his fingers while he played my guitar, sitting in front of me in a world of childhood dreams, as innocent as a sweet smile.

All we had was one last day, where we would watch the sun set before our eyes, and bring with it the darkness of eternal nights. There would be no way to prevent it; it would come, and even the nights would disappear in a countdown around us until he was gone.

But I would forever be David’s girl. I knew I’d look for him in the face of every man I passed for the rest of my life, and though my physical existence on Earth would end one day, I knew in my heart that I would love him, too—for eternity.

“Come on.” He turned suddenly and smiled, offering his hand. “Let’s not waste this day on solemn thoughts.”