Dark Secrets (Dark Secrets #1)(168)
Author: A.M. Hudson

“Mike? What a horrid thing to say.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It…it wasn’t like a suicide mission or anything. But, I could’ve joined tactical six months ago. I chose not to because I didn’t want to leave you alone if anything ever happened to me.” Mike’s eyes softened as they scanned my cheeks and my lips. “When you told me you fell in love with David, I—I died inside, Ara. I thought everything was lost. So, if I have to give up Tactical to stay here and be with you for the rest of my life, it doesn’t even need a second thought. All I ever wanted was you.”

“So you’d move here? Throw it all away? What would you do for a job?” My voice of reason challenged.

“I’ll be fine. I used to be a chef, remember? I can get work anywhere.”

“But you’d need a working visa.”

“Or—” He took my hands again and looked into me with those charming, caramel-colour eyes, melting my heart like maple syrup on pancakes. “Or, we could get married. You’re an American citizen now, right?” His tone softened on the end into a shrug of his shoulder.

“You’re never getting married. Remember? You hate weddings.” I laughed.

“No.” He shook his head. “I said I wouldn’t get married until I found the right girl.”

“But you’d only be marrying me for a visa.”

“Oh, come on, Ara.” He brushed a quick hand through his hair. “I was using it as a line to open that door. I’ve bloody been trying to cough out a proposal since the first day I got here.”

Holy crap! “Why didn’t you just ask me?” I played neutral, concealing the little girl inside me who was jumping up and down, throwing confetti.

“Because you would’ve said no.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I didn’t wanna risk it, Ar. I uh…I don’t take rejection as well as I’d like to think I do.” We both laughed softly. Then, he inched closer, and the serious Mike I’d come to know more recently slipped into place. “All I’ve been waiting on is you—for you to realise you love me, and then, that night, when I didn’t kiss you—”

I looked away, feeling the pain of the night I lost my mother etching into my heart.

Mike hooked a finger under my chin and pulled my face toward his. His lips were so close I could smell the peanut butter on his breath. It smelled nice. “You took me by surprise, Ara. It was all I’d ever wanted, you know? I’d imagined it so many times and, when it finally happened, I acted like a damn fool. And I lost you. I had to accept that you were being dragged away from me, had to accept that you wouldn’t even speak to me, and then, worse, had to break apart hearing you speak about loving another guy. Do you know how hard it was for me to play the supporting friend, when all I wanted to do was coax your naive little mind into believing he didn’t want you?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I love you.” He squeezed my hands. “I wanted you to be happy, and you sounded happy with him. But…I don’t know now, Ara. I’m glad he’s gone, because, all I’ve seen so far is the damage he’s done to you.”

I rubbed my hand over my neck. “It wasn’t like that, you know. He loved me.”

Mike nodded. “I know.”

“Do you?” I asked conceitedly.

“Yes, I do. I uh—” He scratched his brow. “I have a confession to make.”

“Uh-oh.”

His shoulders dropped. “I stole David’s number from your phone and…I called him.”

“What? Why?”

His arched brow gave half the answer. “Come on, Ara. Why do you think? I’m not stupid. I’ve watched you pretending to be happy, but I knew there was something up with you. I’ve known you all your life. I knew he was hurting you. And I was afraid he might be one of those controlling types; you know, who makes you feel like you need him to feel good about yourself.”

“Mike? He’s so not like—”

“I know.” He smiled and flattened my frown with his thumb. “He’s a decent guy, Ara.”

“So, when you talked to him,” I asked delicately, “like, what…what did he say?”

“He told me he’s leaving—that you couldn’t be together. He told me you wanted a family one day and a normal life, but he couldn’t give you that.”

“So—” his words echoed in my mind, “—he…what, he told you to have me?”

“It wasn’t like that, Ar.” Mike rolled his head to one side. “He just said he knows I’ll make you happy and that’s all he ever wanted for you.”

David gave me away?

“Please don’t be mad, Ara.”

Mad? I wasn’t mad that he called David. I felt hurt that he knew everything—embarrassed, but it wasn’t Mike’s fault. It was so like him to do this. He was my protector—he always had been. My best friend. My Zorro. “I’m not mad at you, Mike. Okay?”

“Well, don’t be mad at David, either, baby.” His fingers tightened over my hand. “He just wants you to have a—a normal life.”

“And you think you can give me that?”

“Ara, I’ll give you everything. I’ll be whatever you want me to be. I’ll be a husband, a father to our children, a provider, a protector, but most of all, Ara, if you say you’ll marry me, I will love you—more than anyone has ever been loved in the history of mankind, and I will devote every breath I take to being the best husband you could ever have.”

“But what about what you want, Mike? I don’t want you to be what I want. I want you to be happy, too. I mean, do you even want children?” We’d never discussed that. Mike was good with kids—he always adored Harry, but never spoke of wanting a family.

He took a breath, lifting his shoulders as he did. “All I ever wanted was you, baby girl—a thousand times over and every day for the rest of my existence. I’ve never really thought about kids before.”

I nodded, looking down at my fingers.

“But…” His gaze settled on my belly, lost in a smile.

“But?” I said.

“If I could place a piece of myself inside of you and—” he lifted my top and traced little circles around my navel, “—and that would grow, and become something so beautiful as life—a life that’s a part of you and me, combined? I can’t imagine something more magical. So, yes.” He broke eye contact for a second and reached into his nightstand, closing the drawer with his pinkie after. “I want to have babies—with you. I want a hundred little dark-haired, blue-eyed babies running around, and you and me, we’ll be together. We’ll have each other. Always. That’s what I want.”