Dark Secrets (Dark Secrets #1)(176)
Author: A.M. Hudson

“No. She just doesn’t understand.” I turned and closed the front door. “She thought David and I were a sure thing. And so, all of this—” I held up my ring hand, “—is a little sudden for her.”

“I get it. No offence taken. So?” He stood taller and grinned. “Terminator or The Mummy?”

“You choose. I’ll get popcorn.” I grinned.

Mike walked up the stairs and when the door to his room closed, I headed into the kitchen.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, honey.” He looked up from his newspaper for a second.

“Any good news?” I asked, opening the pantry.

“No news is the only good news,” he scoffed.

I shook my head. “You know, Mum still said that all the time.”

“Did she?” he said absently, staring up blankly at the wall.

Poor Dad. With a soft sigh, I walked over to sit on the chair beside him. “How long, Dad? Before you stopped missing her when she left?”

He sniffed once and folded his paper, smoothing it out on the table. “Never.”

“Never?”

He looked into my eyes then. “I never stopped missing your mother. Sure, after about ten years or so it got easier to bear, but I still miss her, even now.”

“Oh.” I looked out the front window.

“I did wrong by her, Ara. I made one stupid mistake and I lost her. But when you love someone, like I loved her, you will always miss them. I try not to think of her if I can.”

“But, you love Vicki, right? Doesn’t that make it easier?”

He nodded thoughtfully. “That’s the only reason I didn’t go back and beg your mom to forgive me. I did love Vicki—do love Vicki, I mean,” he said with a laugh. “But, I loved your mom, too.”

It hurt to hear him speak of her in the past tense like that.

“I don’t think you ever truly get over losing someone you love. But, it gets easier after time passes, and you can get through the days without missing them so much,” he added, probably in response to my horrified expression. He couldn’t know how much I was relating his story to my own experiences with boys. He was the only person I could think of that suffered a loss as great as mine. I needed to know if there was a life after love—after true love. “Is this about David?” he asked.

“A little.” I smiled at the table.

“Ara, Mike loves you. He’s been trying to ask you to marry him for the last year.” Dad cupped his hand over mine. “He was so worried you’d turn him down that he almost asked me to ask you for him.”

“Really?”

“Yes, honey. Look, I know you love David, but you loved Mike first—and if you thought you could move on from love once, then there’s a good chance you can do it again, right?” He patted my hand.

He was right. It was just going to take some time. But, of course I’d move on—eventually. Nothing ever lasted forever, right? “See? That’s why you’re a teacher, Dad. The all-knowing.” I waved my hands around in the air, then stood up and kissed him on the cheek. “Love you, Dad.”

“Ara?”

I turned back to his insistent tone. “Yeah?”

“I uh…I need to talk to you.”

“Okay…” I sat back down.

“I received a call today—from Ray Bougerstern.”

“Dad!” I slammed my palms on the table and stood up.

“Ara. Sit back down. We need to discuss this.”

“Why now?” I felt the blanket of fury wrap my shoulders. “Mike’s waiting for me to watch a mo—”

“And he’ll wait. You can’t keep avoiding this. The insurance policy has cleared the account. I need to know what you want me to do with the money.”

My lip quivered as I looked down at my feet. Blood money. The money a company paid out because my mother no longer existed. A consolation. Condolences in the form of green notes. “Keep it. Give it to Sam.”

“Ara. Your mother took that policy out so that you could take care of yourself if she were no longer around.”

“I can do that without money, Dad!”

“No, you can’t,” his voice grumbled, peaking above anger. “She’s gone, Ara-Rose. She’s not coming back, no matter what tortures you inflict on yourself. No amount of your own suffering will change what happened.” He reached for my hand; I kept it tight in the fold of my arms, biting my lip. “Honey, just take the money. Use it to start your life. Use it to—”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“I’m sorry. I haven’t wanted to bring it up again. I know it’s hard for you, but—”

“Just put it in a trust fund,” I said finally. “Put it in a high interest account until I turn eighteen or something.”

“Thank you,” Dad said with a nod.

“I hope you’re happy.” I spun on my heel and stormed away.

Chapter Thirty-One

Something about the lazy tone of the day made me edgy. Dad and Mike played chess in the formal dining room, Vicki hung laundry on the clothesline, and Sam stood talking to Mr Warner over the fence. My old companion, the swing, rocked gently under me while I strummed my way through months of painful memories, trying to find some sense in it all.

My life had changed so quickly; from being a normal teenager, going to school, practicing for my big ballet recital, to losing my family, then my first true love, all while discovering the existence of monsters.

Perhaps that was it. Perhaps it wasn’t the calm quiet that had my gut churning. Perhaps it was the monster called truth—the knowing in my heart that tonight, on the last stroke of midnight, the part of me that wouldn’t believe David was gone would turn, look up at the clock tower on the chamber building and hope he’d tap me on the shoulder and ask me to dance. But it was only a hope. Both me and myself knew he wouldn’t show.

Vicki looked over, shaking her head. “Ara, dear, you should be inside doing your makeup.”

I sighed, tuning my guitar. “I don’t need makeup under a mask, Vicki.”

“Of course you do. It’ll—”

But I fazed her out, strumming random chords while the representation of my confused brain paced around in my head, calling himself Holmes. Nothing really made sense anymore. When things happen in life, after time passes, I could usually always see some reason, some lesson I needed to learn from it. But losing my mum, moving here to meet my first true love, then losing him, too, made no sense at all. It all just seemed pointless.