Derailed (Clayton Falls #1)(6)
Author: Alyssa Rose Ivy

“It’s okay, but it isn’t going to happen.”

“I didn’t think so.”

I laughed. “I’m that obvious?”

“No, but if you are getting together with anyone in this town, it’s Ben.”

“Oh come on, you know that’s not happening. Besides, he hates me.”

Kelly pulled the car to a stop behind my Civic.

“He doesn’t hate you. You hurt him, but he still has feelings for you.”

I paused with my hand on the door handle. “How would you even know that?”

“He still writes songs about you.”

“How do you know they’re about me?”

“They are. Trust me. How many blond haired, blue eyed girls have stolen his heart?”

“Well, it doesn’t matter; I’m hoping to avoid him.”

“You do realize how impossible that is, right?”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“Okay, be delusional.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and reached over to pull me into a hug. “I’m glad you’re home. Call me if you need me, okay?”

“I will.”

I got out of the car and to the front door, glad I had the three beers to protect me from the loneliness of stepping into an empty home.

Chapter Four

His arms reached out for me as he struggled to keep his head above water. “I need you, Molly, I need you!” His anguished cries pierced me. I fought to reach him. It was like some invisible hook had me and wouldn’t let me jump in after him. If I could only free myself from the hook’s hold, I’d be able to save him. His head disappeared into the water just as the hook released me and sent me plummeting into the cold abyss.

I woke up screaming and covered in sweat. Confused by the complete darkness, I felt around, trying to figure out where I was. As my eyes adjusted, I remembered I was in my childhood bedroom. I was home. The red numbers on the digital clock read 4:15, and I knew I wouldn’t be getting anymore sleep.

Digging through a suitcase, I found a sports bra, tank, and shorts. I tied up my running shoes before heading out the front door into the still dark morning.

I ran toward the beach, taking the route I’d always taken back when I lived at home. Running in the dark felt strange at first, so different from the constant light of the city. I liked knowing I was nearly invisible.

I couldn’t shake the dream. Even the pounding of the waves failed to drown it out. I kept seeing Adam’s face, his pleading eyes, and the helplessness in his voice. My feet hit the sand, and I tried to concentrate on the way the wind felt on my face. Only two miles in, I sank down, unable to run through the pain. The tightness in my chest threatened to suffocate me as I leaned back onto the damp sand. Closing my eyes, I silently begged for relief.

“Are you okay? Miss, are you hurt?” The voice startled me, and I sat up too quickly, feeling dizzy. My hands moved through the grainy sand. The rising sun told me I had fallen asleep on the beach.

I searched around for the source of the voice, but still disoriented, I accepted the outstretched hand before finding the face.

“Molly?”

“Oh, Mr. Mathews.” I couldn’t believe it. In town less than twelve hours and I’d been found passed out on the beach by my ex-boyfriend’s father.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” He dropped my hand, but stayed close.

“Yeah, I must have fallen asleep. I’m sorry to have worried you.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” His brow wrinkled with concern. “I didn’t know you were home. Is your mom here too?”

“No, it’s just me.”

“Oh. Just taking a break before the big day then?”

Big day? It took me a minute to realize he was talking about the wedding. “Oh, no. That’s not happening.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m glad to see you. Does Ben know you’re in town?”

“No… I don’t think so; well, unless Jake told him.” I held in a groan, remembering his less than amicable reception.

“You should give him a call, I’m sure he’d love to see you.”

I shook my head. “I doubt that. I’m pretty sure he hates me.”

“Ben could never hate you. I know my son enough to assure you of that.” He smiled.

“I have seen Jake though… at Gill’s last night.”

“Ah, now I see. Don’t listen to anything Jake says, especially if he’s been drinking. He’s always been particularly defensive of Ben, even though he’s the younger one.”

“I remember.”

“Are you sure you’re all right? I’m just heading over to the marina, but I can call someone.”

“I’m fine. I promise.”

“Okay, but don’t be a stranger. I know Mary would love to have you over for dinner or brunch. And call Ben.”

“Aren’t you going to tell him I’m here?”

He smiled. “No, I think I’ll let you do that yourself. It’s good to see you, Molly.”

“You too.” I waved goodbye before jogging toward home.

***

I needed a job. The student loan money I had left for the semester wouldn’t carry me forever, but even more than that, I needed something to keep me busy. As much as I hated law school, it had given me something else to concentrate on. Left to its own devices, my mind was a dangerous place.

I scoured the kitchen for something to eat. Thankfully I found some coffee and put on a pot before heading upstairs for a shower. I let the hot water run over me for slightly longer than necessary, not ready to face an empty day. Coming back to Clayton Falls had seemed like a good idea when I was still in Boston, but once I got there, I started to doubt it. I could have gone out to Seattle, but I didn’t want to face my mom or my perfect sister and her perfect family. They’d just worry about me, try to get me to see someone, and mostly try to convince me not to feel so guilty. It’s easy for someone to say that when they weren’t the cause of the deaths of two of the most important people in their lives.

As the dark thoughts settled in, I turned off the water, dried myself, and got dressed in my usual uniform of a jean skirt and tank top. Some girls have 20 pairs of jeans. I had 20 jean skirts in assorted colors and styles. It had started out as a statement in high school, one I never outgrew. Adam used to make fun of me, but all I had to do was threaten to stop wearing skirts entirely, and he’d shut up. For such a straight-laced conservative boy, he had a weakness for exposed skin—at least on me. Becca said it was his form of rebellion, but that was probably just her psychology major side talking. I think he was just a guy who liked to have a girl who looked sexy.