Dire

Outside the wind howled, reminding me just how dumb I’d been. Putting myself in danger was one thing, but Mary Anne was another story. I already cared about her, but now it was different. We were involved on a whole new level.

“No. For caring. For having those dreams.”

“Why? Was it a letdown or something?” I’d never had complaints before, but maybe I hadn’t lived up to her expectations. She’d blown mine out of the water.

“No.” She rested her head on my chest again. “It was good.”

“Just good?” I ran a hand through her hair.

“How was it for you?”

“Fantastic. I’d always heard the quiet girls were the best in bed.”

“Quiet? Do you really think I qualify as a quiet one?”

“Ok, not quiet, but bookish.”

“And those are the same?”

I let out a silent sigh of relief. I had us back on normal ground. I didn’t know everything about girls, but I knew enough to realize she was embarrassed. She had absolutely no reason to be, and I had to make sure she knew that. “Close enough.”

“I can’t believe you’re ready again.”

I laughed. “I can’t really hide it right now.”

“Too tight of a space I suppose.”

“Despite our precarious situation, I don’t mind the tight space—or the position.”

“If we make it out of this alive you can reflect back on your crazy lapse of judgment when you had sex with me.”

“Lapse of judgment?” I took her face in my hands. It was too dark to see much, but I needed her to look at me anyway. “Stop. I’m glad this happened. I want it to happen again, and not just out here.”

“I’m not signing up as your fuck buddy, Gage.”

“Fuck buddy? Who says that?”

“People.”

I ran my thumb over her lower lip. “I have no intentions of using you if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“Then what are your intentions?”

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. What were they? I couldn’t just pretend it never happened. First, I wasn’t leaving it at one night. And aside from that, it was Mary Anne. I’d know her for years. Our parents lived two blocks away from each other, and I still saw her brother over breaks and the summer. She wasn’t going anywhere. Maybe we’d figure it out. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but we could have fun. Maybe a little bit of time together would help her unwind. So why was I promising she wasn’t going to be a friend with benefits, or fuck buddy, as she called it?

My rock hard dick probably had something to do with that promise. At least that’s what I told myself. I preferred that excuse to one that involved my own feelings. I had to protect her, but protecting her couldn’t involve cutting myself off. At least not yet.

“What are you thinking about?” She pulled me from my guilty thoughts.

“You.”

“Come on.”

“It’s true.”

“And did those thoughts have to do with the body part pressed against me right now?”

“The body part? Come on Mary Anne, you can say the word.” I could picture her blushing. Damn, that just turned me on more.

“Of course I can say the word penis.”

“You make it sound so clinical. You’re not talking about mine specifically.”

“What is this? You keep pushing me and pushing me. I put out, isn’t that enough?”

“Put out? Now you’re making me feel bad.” I wished I could see her face. “If it weren’t so damn cold I’d get out of this sleeping bag and get dressed.”

“And what would you do with that then?” She took me in her hand.

I groaned. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Didn’t I already prove that?”

“Yes.” I closed my eyes reveling in the feel of her hand. What was I worrying about?

“What was that?” She let go of me.

I felt the absence of her hand immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“That noise. It was like a howl.” She shivered, and I knew it wasn’t from the cold.

“A howl?” I held her tighter. “Like a wolf?”

She didn’t need to answer, a loud howl filled the silent night.

“It sounds close.” Her whole body shuddered. “Do you think it can get in here?”

“No. The truck is solid. The biggest risk tonight is still the cold.”

“I’d be flipping out if you weren’t here.” Her body relaxed slightly.

“That’s hard for you to admit isn’t it? You like feeling independent.”

“Would you rather be alone?”

“Of course not. And just to be frank, there’s no one else I’d rather be stranded with in the middle of nowhere during a blizzard.”

She laughed this sing-song laugh of hers.

We lay there quietly, and I rubbed her back trying to help her relax. Mary Anne tried to act so tough, but she was human. She was terrified. I was probably a horrible person for taking advantage of the situation, but I’d make up for it. I’d make sure she understood she was more than a notch, but first I had to make sure she got some rest.

We were focused on the night, but I knew the morning wouldn’t necessarily bring us any easy solutions. The storm continued to rage on, and we’d be lucky if a car came by in the next twenty-four hours, let alone one that saw us off in the ditch. I pushed away those fears and focused on taking care of the frightened girl in my arms. She was relying on me, and there was no way I was going to let her down again.

***

A few rays of sunlight filtered in through the camper windows that were mostly covered in snow. I blinked a few times, quickly remembering where I was—and who I was with. Mary Anne’s breathing was even, and I knew she was still sleeping. At least she’d been relaxed enough to sleep. She looked so innocent, so peaceful, so fragile. Maybe she wasn’t fragile, but she was vulnerable. She’d put herself in my hands, and I’d done what only an asshole would do. Any rationales I was able to muster the night before were gone. I had no excuse. I’d wanted her, and I’d taken her. The worst part is I wanted her again, and I was going to have her. One taste wasn’t enough. But I couldn’t have more yet. I didn’t deserve more until I got us the hell out of the woods and headed home.

She stirred in my arms, moaning softly.