Dirty Secret (The Burke Brothers #1)(28)
Author: Emma Hart

“He’ll probably ask me how long it took you to get inside my pants.” I sigh. “Then he’ll go all jealous and proceed to pin me up against a wall somewhere and kiss the shit out of me.”

“You don’t sound so averse to the wall-pinning.”

“Mmph,” I grunt as he pulls into my drive and I stare at the front door. “Know what I hate? I hate that we still feel the same as we did when I left Shelton Bay. That fucking nothing has changed. I wish he could hate me without loving me at the same time, because then maybe I wouldn’t love him as much back.”

“Still happy?” Kye turns in his seat and raises his eyebrows at me.

I backhand slap his chest. “I was. Once. Now all that gives me even a modicum of happiness is Mila. I love her, so much, Kye, but I wish I didn’t love her daddy. I wish with everything I have that I didn’t want him the way I do.”

“You need to go to bed, Sof,” he cuts in.

“Why? I’m only saying my thoughts out loud.”

“I know. But I’m not the person you should be saying them to. Problem is, the person you should be saying them to, you probably shouldn’t say them to.”

“You make no sense, Kye.” I unbuckle my seat belt, grab my purse, and shove open the door, jumping out of the truck.

“Look, Sof.” He comes around the truck and stops in front of me. “Don’t feel guilty for feeling the way you do. We’re all entitled to feel the way about people that we really shouldn’t.”

He smiles sadly.

“Kye, I swear, if you tell me you love me, I will twist your dick off.”

“Once.” He winks. “Once.”

“You’re an ass.”

I wrap my arms around his waist. His go around my shoulders and he squeezes me lightly.

“Now go inside and try to get to bed without rousing the beast.”

“The man or his penis?” I ask dryly, stepping back.

“They’re one and the same.” He winks again, this time with a chuckle, and backs toward the truck.

“Pshhh.” I head toward the front door and insert my key.

At least, I try to. Before I can, it’s pulled open by a very shirtless, very angry Conner Burke.

“You’re not good with lines,” I snap, pushing past him.

I kick my shoes off in the hall and dump my purse. He stares at me for a minute before going outside to talk to Kye. I stand in the doorway with my arms folded across my chest.

Who the hell does he think he is? My dad?

Conner and Kye and exchange some words before Conner nods and comes back to the house.

“Inside,” he snaps.

“We’re bossy tonight.” I turn on my heel and stalk into the house.

I shrug my jacket off and hang it on the hooks, then turn in the direction of the kitchen. Water. I need water.

“Good night?” He follows me.

“Why don’t you ask your chaperones?” I slam the cupboard shut and pour myself a glass of that much-needed water.

“I tried. They were both too afraid of losing their balls to tell me anything. Imagine that.”

“Yeah, how convenient.” I drink the water in one go and set the glass down. I turn to him, my eyes finding his. “I don’t know what kind of bullshit trick you were pulling tonight or what game you’re playing, but cut it the fuck out. It’s pathetic.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you don’t.” I walk up to him and stop an inch in front of him. “We don’t belong to each other, Conner. We’re here for Mila. How many more times does that have to be said, huh? If I want to go on a date with someone, you can’t stop me, and I can’t stop you doin’ the same thing. We’re parents together, but we’re not a couple. That’s the end of the damn story.”

“You’re right. So maybe I should sit here every night watching Mila while you go on dates?”

“Why not?” I raise my eyebrows. “I sure as hell spent every night for the last two and a half years doing nothing but crushing on the latest hot American Idol contestant while you were out doing whatever the hell you wanted to do.”

“Because I didn’t know!”

“You still would have gone on tour!” I shove at his chest. “You still would have gone away, and you still would have had the girls and everything you ever wanted!”

I duck around him and run past him, my heart pounding. Jack—not such a brilliant idea after all.

“That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” he asks, following me. “Your fears. Not her. You.”

“Don’t you dare!” I lash out at him. “Don’t you dare stand there and pretend I put myself over her. Never, Conner! Never! Anything I felt always came second to you and her. Always!”

“And now I’m giving you a chance to let it come first. So talk.” He rests his hands on the wall above my head.

“No,” I whisper, turning my face away. “No, because it doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.”

“Well, not to me!” I push his arm down and walk away. “Not anymore. I took her to give you everything you’d always dreamed of. I took her to give you everything you ever wanted. That’s all there is to it.”

“You’re wrong,” he calls as I walk upstairs. “You didn’t give me everything I ever wanted. The day you left town, you took it. I only ever wanted you, Sof.”

I pause at the top, tears burning, and close my eyes. I don’t want to believe him. Yet I do want to believe I was everything he wanted, because he was that for me.

He was my teenage dream, my escape, my go-to guy. He was everything to me.

Was.

Because nothing lasts forever, even when there’s a gorgeous little girl tying you together.

Leaving him staring after me, I turn the corner and run into my bedroom.

I throw my clothes in the corner and grab a T-shirt from my drawer. Tugging it over my head, I climb into bed, my eyes stinging, and curl into a ball.

I put Mila’s toast on her high-chair tray and sit next to her at the table with my own. I watch her as she grabs it vigorously and shoves a piece in her mouth, grinning as she does.

Shit, she’s adorable.

I chew my slice of toast, watching as she mashes a piece into both Bunna and Dolly’s mouths. When I heard her wake up this morning, I thought I’d get up and leave Sofie in bed.

For all my chaperoning efforts, it seemed like my brothers didn’t keep an eye on alcohol consumption.