Dizzy(16)
Author: Nyrae Dawn & Jolene

“I’m not sulky. Who even uses that word?” Except I am sulky, and I know it.

I flip down the sun visor. I can’t stop thinking about the sort-of date, and how I didn’t hate the idea. Did it start that way with Derrick? No, I can’t let myself think like that. I don’t like her. She’s angry voodoo-doll chick.

“I use that word, and you’re definitely sulky man. Is it the wedding shit?” Paul’s been my friend forever. He’s the one who knew us before and after Mom. Besides Derrick, no one else would even know to bring up the wedding pissing me off.

Well, except Ziah, I guess, but she doesn’t know why.

Paul also knows I won’t want to talk about it.

“I don’t want to talk about the wedding.”

He doesn’t push it. We’re cool like that and know when to go there and when not to.

“Chastity asked me about you at school today. She wants us all to go do something.”

This is where I should be jumping at the opportunity to go out with another girl. To get my mind off Hanes, but I’m not sure I’m feeling it. It doesn’t sound as cool as it usually does—which I chalk up to being tired and busy playing wedding planner.

“We’ll see. Things are kind of crazy right now.”

“That’s cool. Derrick asked me to be in the wedding, too. I didn’t see that one coming.”

I glance at Paul and see him scratch his head. He has the huge-ass Paul smile on his face. He’s stoked.

“You’re like a brother to him. We’ve been making his life hell ever since we could walk.”

Paul laughs and then my cell goes off, letting me know I got a text. Picking it up, I see Hanes flash across the screen. Damn it. I just stopped thinking about her.

Z: LORA JUST ABOUT EXPLODED BECAUSE I’M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR WEDDING STUFF. DID SHE AND DERRICK GET IN A FIGHT OR SOMETHING?

I smile, imagining Ziah blowing her sister off, and Lora taking it to mean it’s the end of the world. Girls in love are a little psycho. Or at least the ones getting married are.

“You’re smiling. Why are you smiling? Who is that?” Paul fires questions at me.

“I’m not smiling.” Only I sort of am, but not because it’s Ziah. It’s psycho Lora.

After I pull into a parking spot, I text back.

D: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? WE’RE DOING TUXES. COME DOWN. I’M SURE SHE’LL BE HERE.

After I give her the address, I toss my phone down and get out of the car. Derrick is already inside when we get there. Pacing back and forth.

“You’re late! What the hell, man.”

“Ten minutes. Chill out. I had to pick Paul up. Geez, you’re worse then Lora.”

Derrick groans and plops down into a chair. The guy who works here is behind the counter, trying to look like he’s not paying attention to us. Derrick ruffles his hair, obviously freaking out about something.

“Trouble in paradise?”

When he groans again, I start tripping out a little bit. I’m just giving him a hard time. The wedding is a mistake, but I also don’t want anything to hurt my brother.

“What’s up? You cool?” I sit down next to him. Paul takes the seat on the other side.

“Lora’s all stressed out. She’s not big on any of the places we picked out. She really wants this Vista place, but it’s all booked. I don’t see what the big deal is. I told her it didn’t really matter where we did it, which was obviously the wrong thing to say. She took off and isn’t answering her phone.” He starts popping his knuckles, and I’m a little lost here.

“So you guys had a little argument. What’s the big deal? That happens all the time, right?”

I mean, that should be normal. People fight and as long as it’s not huge fights you get over it and move on.

“You don’t get it. I don’t want to be like Mom and Dad. The fighting and the taking off.”

Huh? “What are you talking about? I don’t remember Mom and Dad having any big fights, and what you’re explaining sounds more like a disagreement than anything.”

Derrick looks over at me. “You don’t remember, D. I told you things weren’t what you think with Mom and Dad.”

And that’s about enough of that. I’m definitely not in the mood to go there. Especially with Paul and the sewing guy here.

I push to my feet. “I’m sure it’s fine. Let’s get this over with.”

***

“The ties are pink.”

I can’t believe my brother expects me to wear a pink tie. I don’t ever remember him liking pink before. The suits are okay. They’re kind of thin, which to me is weird since the wedding is in March. They’re a khaki color, called summer suits or something like that.

“Mauve.” Derrick stands in front of a mirror while the guy measures him. He’s got a huge smile on his face like he’s not setting us up in suits for the wrong season and pink ties.

“Then mauve is pink because the tie is definitely pink.”

“It’s mauve, you dumbass. It’s not pink.”

“Paul, tell him the tie is pink. I’m not wearing this.”

Paul laughs. “I’m staying out of this one.”

“Derrick.” I walk over to him. “Seriously. Talk to her. You can’t want pink ties.”

The bell over the door rings. I look over to see Ziah walking toward us. I sort of suck in a breath and then realize that’s stupid.

“You guys aren’t wearing pink ties are you?” She laughs.

“Ha! I told you, man. My brother says they’re mauve.” I roll my eyes.

“Isn’t mauve pink?”

I seriously consider asking her to marry me. Okay, not really. I’m not crazy, but I am pretty damn thankful.

“You guys are both being ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with mauve ties,” Derrick tries to defend himself.

Obviously he’s not going to do anything about this, so I plead my case to Ziah instead. “Can you talk to your sister about this?”

“No!” Derrick looks at Ziah. “Just let it go. She’s having a hard time. You know how she gets. She worries about everything. I don’t want to stress her out anymore.”

I take a step back. I don’t know what it is about what he just said, but things really start to sink in. How much he cares about this girl is finally getting slammed into my brain. He loves her so much he just wants to make things easy on her—even if it means wearing a pink tie or being freaked out over a little argument. When it comes down to it, he just wants to do what he can to take care of his girl.

I remember how cool it felt when I helped Ziah. Not that she’s my girl or ever will be, but it still made me feel like something more because I somehow helped her. I suddenly don’t want to make things harder on him. Not at this moment, at least.

“Nah, it’s cool. I’m man enough to wear a pink tie. I’ll rock it.”

Derrick catches my eye over Ziah’s, and I see him relax. He nods at me like he’s saying thanks, and I nod back.

When the bell over the door rings a second time, I somehow know it’s Lora.

She walks over to Derrick all slowly like she’s unsure, but then he gives her a half-smile. Hers is triple the size of his, and she gives him a huge hug. They’re whispering to each other. The suit guy huffs away, obviously pissed we’re screwing up his schedule, and Paul, Hanes, and I just kind of stand and watch.

For the first time, I think I might actually be happy for him. Well, even though he’s making a huge mistake.

Fourteen

~ Ziah ~

Lora picked me up from school, but I’ve been sort of zoned out on our drive into downtown. Apparently her body has gone too long without Voodoo Donuts, so we’re in the colossally long line, halfway down the block waiting for some. I’ve seen it worse.

The picture of Derrick being able to make her feel better in about two seconds at the tailor shop still hits me. He’s not a bad guy, it’s just still weird.

“You okay?” she asks. “Anything different with Alyssa or James?”

“I finally told them both I wasn’t ready to talk, and I’d tell them when I was.”

“Been silent since then?” she asks.

“Yeah.” But it didn’t give me the relief I’d been hoping for. The whole blow-up happened a month ago, and maybe I should be ready to talk to them. But I’m just not.

“You’re not keeping anything from me? No new developments or anything?”

I think about how part of me wishes they were still trying to talk to me and how another part of me wishes Dylan would want to do some non-talking with me, but I keep it to myself.

“You’re so much like I used to be.” Lora takes a long drink from her coffee.

“Why do I feel like you don’t mean it as a compliment?”

“Sometimes it’s okay to break rules, Ziah. Relax a little.” She bumps her shoulder to mine.

I stare at my shoes on the sidewalk. “Lora. I was with the safest guy in the universe, and—”

“No, you weren’t.”

“What?”

“You weren’t, or what happened wouldn’t have happened. He seemed like the safest guy, but he wasn’t. Not really. First impressions and outward appearances can be deceiving.” She raises a brow, and I’m jealous again of my sister’s ability to wear hats. The off-white knitted cap sits just right, making her look… well, like she could be marrying a Gibson boy.

I have no idea how to look this way.

“I guess.”

“It’s just sometimes good to be impulsive.”

I roll my eyes. “Just because you found your true love in a game of truth or dare gone horribly awry doesn’t mean it’ll work for the rest of us. On top of which, being single is probably best, since I’m about to go to college and then to med school.”

“Maybe.” She shrugs. “I just don’t want you to miss out on something really great because you’re afraid to take chances, that’s all.”

“Noted.” I suck down another swallow of coffee.

“Yeah. I have to get this location figured out, Ziah. If we don’t get out invites soon, we might have to push the wedding back.” She sighs and looks down at her boots.

I want to tell her she could have a smaller wedding, and that would solve the problem. But my guess is she doesn’t want to hear that, and I’m not going to ruin our afternoon because I can’t keep my mouth shut. We shuffle a few steps closer to the door.

“Has Dylan mentioned their mom?” Lora asks.

“No, why?” I figured that’s one of those things you don’t ask about, it just comes up. Dylan’s pretty tight-lipped about the reality of his family.

“Just curious, that’s all.” Only now Lora looks distracted, and I wonder if there’s something she’s keeping from me.

***

“So, I gotta ask. What’s your problem with their wedding?” I sit next to Dylan as Derrick and Lora wander through what feels like location one million. We’re against the wall in a ballroom in some random hotel near the river.