Dizzy(30)
Author: Nyrae Dawn & Jolene

“Ummm, Dad. Can’t. Breathe.”

He laughs, letting go of me.

Derrick gives me a half hug, a twelve pack of beer in one of his hands. I look back and forth between him and my dad, who shrugs, giving me a smile. My dad may have turned a blind eye, but he has never, ever let me drink in front of him before.

“We’re having a guy’s night. Derrick informed me it’s not a guy’s night without beer. Makes me wonder about what you two do when you’re together.”

Guy’s night. The thought makes me smile.

“Not me. It’s those college kids. Always partying,” I tease. Derrick gives me a playful push in reply before walking toward the kitchen. Dad and I follow.

“It’s a bachelor party. We need beer for that. You guys have to know that one.” Derrick sits at the table.

“I’m sorry, Derrick. For screwing everything up. You’re supposed to be at the party.”

“Brought the party here.”

“You’re supposed to be with Lora.”

He shrugs. “She knows I need to be with you.”

I nod at him. Lora’s awesome. I’m glad my brother’s marrying her. Glad she’ll be family.

“Cool. She’s cool.”

As much as I want to pretend it’s all okay, I can’t. Not without saying what I need to say. “I can’t forgive her. I don’t know what you guys have planned, but—”

Dad clasps a hand on my shoulder. “You don’t have to. And I hope you know her decisions weren’t about us or our worth.” Dad sighs. “It’s been a long time, son. I should have given your mom up a long time ago. Maybe if I would have, it would have been easier for you. That’s my fault, and I apologize.”

Before I can reply, Derrick jumps in. “It wasn’t about forgiving her, D. I just needed to make my peace. To finally free myself of her before getting married. We never expected her to just show up like that. I knew you’d take it hard, so I didn’t want to tell you unless—didn’t know how to tell you—”

“That’s the problem.” I cross my arms. “You guys never knew how to tell me anything. You always left me in the dark. How did anyone expect me to believe I could handle anything if you guys didn’t think I could?”

“You’re right,” Dad says. “I just… you were so young. I wanted you to have those good memories. I wanted to hold onto your mom because I thought it was best for you guys. Or hell, maybe I just wanted her. You’re a man, Dylan, and it’s time I treat you like one. I’m proud of you, son.”

I can’t find my words, but Derrick saves me. “Okay, okay. Enough of the sappy stuff.”

He pulls out three bottles, opens one, and gives it to me. He does the same for Dad and saves one for himself. We all hold them up.

“To the Gibson Boys,” Dad says.

“And girls!” Derrick adds. “Well, at least Lora, and from what I’ve heard, Dyl probably wants to cheer for Ziah, too.”

Dad shakes his head, but he’s smiling.

I do want to cheer for her. Yeah, I don’t know what’s going on with the James thing, but I know her, and I know I probably overreacted. And I like her.

“Definitely to girls. And to growing up, getting over the past. Yeah, and girls.”

We clank our bottles together and drink.

Twenty-Six

~ Ziah ~

I’m not sure what time I crashed last night, but this morning is the first day where my legs don’t feel like lead. Last day before Spring Break. The morning of the rehearsal, though with Dylan still MIA, I’m not sure what will happen.

Dylan is too draining to think about. I’m mad and I’m hurt and I’m sorry. Those are some exhausting emotions to roll through day after day. I take a shower, spend some time on my hair, and even run mascara over my lashes.

No mid-terms today. I already have an A in English, so I’ll be able to spend that class time buried in a book. I may just survive my day a little better than I’ve survived the week so far.

Then Alyssa picks me up with James in the backseat. The drive is tense, but we’re all in the same car and no one explodes. The conversation rests on the weather, calculus, and biology. I take a deep breath when we hit the parking lot.

“We survived.” Alyssa rests her arm over my shoulder as James jogs to catch up with another friend.

“We survived.” It hits me hard. We’ll be able to be friends, and we’ll be okay. Not perfect, not the way we were before, but okay. And I guess that’s enough.

School passes in a haze. We’re all half on Spring Break already. I check my phone like a million times, but I guess I’m sort of resigned to silence. And I’m starting to get nervous about maybe seeing Dylan tonight.

***

Lora’s handling the cancellation of her rehearsal incredibly well. Like I’m almost suspicious as she chomps down on her fiftieth carrot stick since her dinner salad.

“How hard could it be?” She smiles, but it looks a little forced. “I walk up the aisle. You all stand on either side. It’ll be fine.”

“What about…” Dylan?

“They’re driving back from the coast tomorrow morning. Sounds like he’ll be with them.” She studies my face more carefully.

Hours before the wedding. “And you’re okay with this?”

“I love Derrick. I want to be part of their family. So, yeah. I’m okay with this.” She sits back.

“Wow.” Not only are we gaining a Derrick, their family is gaining a Lora. They’d better recognize how amazing she is.

“You’d better go put on those heels and get some more practice.” She nudges me with her elbow.

Yeah, I’d better because not only will I have to walk in those heels tomorrow, I’ll have to walk in those heels while holding Dylan’s arm.

Twenty-Seven

~ Dylan ~

I’m freaking out. Yeah, I know. I should totally be over freaking out by now, but this time it has nothing to do with the wedding, Mom, or even wanting to run away from Ziah. It has to do with seeing her and putting it all out there with her again. It’s the second… third time I’ve had to do it, but she’s worth it.

We’re both worth it.

All I have to do now is hope she’s not with James.

Dad and Derrick were obviously thinking ahead because they brought their tuxes with them to the beach house. Paul showed up, and now we’re all decked out on our way to Vista House.

“Is she coming?” I ask Derrick.

I’d been afraid to ask him before, but I need to know. Regardless, I’ll be good. I’m over it.

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “It was never about that, D. I think I just needed her to know we’re good—that we turned out okay without her.”

I nod. “Yeah, I can kind of get that.”

“Are you nervous?” he asks. He’s in the passenger side of Mary. Dad and Paul are in Dad’s car.

“Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that? You’re the one about to go down the aisle.”

“And I’m seriously going to celebrate the hell out of it. I can’t wait, but that’s not what I mean. Rumor has it some stuff went down with you and Ziah.”

A laugh jumps out of my mouth. “Rumor has it? Why don’t you just say Ziah said something to Lora who then said something to you? Dumbass.”

I glance over and see my brother smirk at me. I wonder if I should feel weird talking to him about Ziah, or if he’s going to warn me away from her again, but I squash those thoughts quick. Somehow, I think we’re past that.

“I like her a lot, but she was with James. I don’t know what’s going on.”

Derrick sighs. “What’s going on is you reacting before you think, like always. She was upset, D. Talk to her. It’ll be cool.”

We don’t get a chance to continue because I’m pulling into parking lot of Vista House.

***

I’m outside when the limo pulls up. My heart rate kicks up a few notches. Ziah is the first one to step out. I expect to see her in her dress, but she’s wearing a tiny tank top and a pair of jeans and running shoes. Only her. Her hair is all done though—curls and knots on the top of her head with little strands falling down.

Her eyes catch mine and holds them. She’s got a lot of make-up on—way more than usual—but she’s still gorgeous. Stupidly, I hold my hand up and give her a small wave.

“Ziah! Hurry. Derrick’s not out there is he?” Lora pulls her attention away from me as I walk over to see if they need any help.

“Hey,” I say to Ziah. “He’s not out here.”

“Hey,” she says.

“Crap. I’m stuck,” Lora says from inside the limo, and I hear girls giggling while they do whatever it is they’re doing in there.

Ziah takes a step toward me, her face looks so uncertain. “James is just a friend. It was a project. It’s not—”

“Dylan! Come here, man. I need your help.” Derrick steps outside, and all the girls start screaming and yelling for him to go away because he can’t see Lora.

Knowing they’ll lose it, and Derrick needs me for whatever, I smile at her and touch one of those strands of hair before I turn and jog inside—already missing her.

***

I clutch my phone to my ear. “What do you mean the cakes got ruined? Don’t we have like, insurance on them or whatever?” Again, I’m freaking out a little here.

The guy on the other end of the phone starts yapping like crazy, and what he’s saying doesn’t even matter. All I know is the cake got screwed up while they were putting it in the van, and Lora is going blow a gasket. And after all the cake I gorged myself with, I’m a little pissed about it, too.

My first thought is to tell my brother, but I also don’t want to stress him out. He’s tripping out about this day because he wants it perfect for Lora, but I know he really wants it perfect for both of them. He’s just as into this as she is.

Ziah. She’ll know what to do.

I hang up the phone, which probably isn’t cool, but we’ve got a wedding disaster here. I mean, the cake is important, right? Lora and Derrick put way too much into it for cake-tastrophe to screw it up.

So now I’m scouring Vista House like crazy trying to find the maid of honor because I’m the best man, and it’s our job to handle shit like this.

I hit the room Ziah was in last, but as soon as I raise my hand to knock my brother’s voice drifts out from inside. He’s not supposed to be in there.

“I love you, Stiches.”

Stiches? What the hell kind of nickname is that? And wait, I thought it was like the end of the world for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding.

“I love you too.”

“Thanks for being cool about last night… Missing the rehearsal and the party.”

Guilt stabs into me. I screwed up last night, but I’m fixing this cake shit.

“It’s okay. It was important. You would have done the same for me and Ziah.”