Echoes of Scotland Street (On Dublin Street #5)(71)
Author: Samantha Young

“Messed up how?”

“I wanted to make this right for you.” Feeling the burn of tears in the backs of my eyes, I fought them. I was sick of crying. It felt like I’d spent the last four nights crying. “You wanted our family back, and I wanted to give that to you. I owe you that. But I don’t think I can, Logan.” I shook my head, anger stinging in my blood. “They gave me an ultimatum. Them or Cole. Them? They’ve never once asked me how I’ve coped with Ollie’s attack. Not once. They act like I was asking for it or something.”

Logan’s violet eyes darkened with anger and I knew it wasn’t directed at me. I knew because the anger mingled with disappointment. I’d seen that look on his face many times over the years when he was thinking about our parents.

I took a shuddering breath. “Because I hesitated I’ve lost the only guy who’s ever really loved me.” Losing the battle with my tears, I swiped at them in frustration, unable to meet Logan’s gaze. “Cole broke up with me because of them.”

“Shay, I don’t understand . . .”

So I told him everything.

“I was happy, Logan,” I concluded. “I felt guilty for being happy while you’re in here and I wanted to do something for you, but I can’t do this. I’ve screwed it up with you, with them, and with Cole.” I tugged on my hair. “Ugh, maybe it’s not unsalvageable. I mean Cole’s gone, so Mum, Dad, and Amanda will accept me back into their lives. Maybe we can be a family again.” I’ll just bury my resentment.

“Shannon.” Logan grabbed for my hand and my full attention. Concern was written all over his face. “You’re looking and acting like you haven’t slept in days.”

I pulled gently on his hand. “I’ve only ever had two people in my life that I adore . . . and I’ve hurt them both. I put you in prison and I broke Cole’s heart.” I swatted at my tears. “And I can’t stop crying. It’s ridiculous. Even Rae’s being nice to me. That’s when you know you’re pathetic.” I shrugged. “Stu’s probably going to fire me anyway. The atmosphere between me and Cole at work is horrendous and Stu warned me he’d get rid of me if I was causing problems wi—”

“Can you please shut up for two minutes?” Logan interrupted, scowling at me. “One: I’m not going to repeat this again. You did not put me here. I put me here. Two: Shannon, I would never have asked you to do anything that would make you unhappy to make them happy. As long as you and I are good, what does it matter?”

“But you said—”

“You didn’t have to take it so much to heart. I didn’t realize how guilty you’ve been feeling. I mean, I knew you felt guilty for some fucked-up reason, but I didn’t realize it was this deep-seated. Sweetheart.” He shook his head. “You’ve got to let that go.”

I was silent. There was no point replying, because I couldn’t give him the assurance he was looking for. I felt remorseful. That feeling wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“As to Cole . . . I’ve never seen you this bad before. I’d never seen you as happy as I had last time either, so I can tell this guy is different. Forget everyone else, Shannon. Go back to Edinburgh and make it right with him. And when you do, come back here and let me thank the guy who’s been taking care of my wee sister while I can’t.”

I smiled tremulously. “Were you always this awesome?”

Deadpan, he said, “Wise since birth, wee ane. Wise since birth.”

I laughed softly and then stopped at a sudden, terrible thought. “He’s not going to take me back. I don’t know how to make him see how much he means to me.”

Logan winked. “Go big . . . or go home.”

CHAPTER 26

T he Georgian town house on Dublin Street was stunning. Beyond stunning. I couldn’t stop gawping at the gleaming dark hardwood floors and the expensive but simple furnishings.

The gorgeous property belonged to Joss and Braden and was currently filled with the couple’s closest friends and family, who were there to celebrate the birth of baby Jarrod. I’d gate-crashed and was incredibly worried I was about to vomit all over their hardwood floors.

Joss didn’t seem too concerned I’d gate-crashed. In fact, she got this almost satisfied sparkle in her gaze when she opened her front door and found me on the stoop.

“I’m here to go big or go home,” I said without preamble.

She grinned and stepped aside. “Then by all means come in.”

The noise from the sitting room jolted me as I followed the hostess into it. Light streamed in from the huge floor-to-ceiling windows situated on opposite ends of the long room. Nate, Liv, Mick, and his wife, Dee, were chatting to Cole and Cam, who was holding Belle in his arms by the old Georgian fireplace. Dylan led Elodie across the room toward Luke, William, and Bray, who were huddled around toys on the floor. Clark, Declan, and Marco stood laughing by the nearest window at whatever Braden was telling them, while Jo sat perched on the armchair Ellie was sitting on as they ate finger food. Squeals of laughter sounded from the back of the room where Beth, Lily, and January were watching a Disney movie on the large television. Beth had little Sophia in her arms.

As if he sensed me, Cole glanced over. He stiffened at the sight of me and I braced myself. A hush fell over the room as the adults noted my presence.

“Cole, Shannon is here to see you.” Joss stared him down on my behalf until his feet started moving toward me.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, appearing a little shell-shocked to see me.

The dark circles that had been under his eyes all week hadn’t gone anywhere and his usual scruff was turning into a beard. It was selfish of me, but I was relieved he wasn’t dealing well with our separation either.

I licked my dry lips, glancing around at everyone staring at us. Finally I looked up into Cole’s handsome face. “I’m here because I love you, and I need to ask you something.” I took a deep breath. It was time to go big.

I lowered myself to one knee.

Cole’s eyes grew round and I heard a few female gasps behind him. “Shannon, what—”

“Cole Walker, I once told you in fear that you were nothing, but there has never been a day of your life that that was true and there has never been a day I’ve ever really thought that. You’ve been extraordinary to me since we were fifteen.” I smiled shakily, feeling vulnerable and frightened but hopeful too as he stared down at me with growing tenderness in his expression. “Apart from Logan I’ve never had a real family. The kind you can count on through everything. The kind that gives you second, third, fourth chances because the other option is no option at all. Because they love you and they’re there for you. Unconditionally. Logan was the only one who ever gave me that. Until you. You’re my family, Cole. I want you to be my family forever.” I laughed hoarsely. “I don’t have a ring or anything. I just have me. And I know I’m not perfect and I know you deserve perfect . . . but I love you more than anyone else in this world and I promise you I’ll never let you forget that again.” My heart slowed its rapid beating as a sense of calm came over me. A sense of rightness. It was as if I’d found the balance I’d been missing ever since I got in that car and left Cole behind on that stoop on Scotland Street all those years ago. “It’s always been you, and I always want it to be . . . Marry me, Cole.”