Embracing the Wolf

I stood, hugging my arms to my chest. “I’m thinking clearly now, and I’m telling you I’m not ready. When I go into heat, it’ll be my wolf wanting them—not me.”

Adam let out a heavy breath. I wasn’t sure if it was out of anger or contemplation over the discussion. My hands drifted down to my flat stomach. Then a thought occurred to me; if I was on the pill, how could I get pregnant even in heat?”

“I’m not going to quit taking the pill, Adam. I’m sorry, but I can’t get pregnant.”

Adam watched me, his mouth opening and then shutting. He looked away and then back at me.

“What?”

“Our bodies burn off human drugs quickly, but when you’re in heat, your body will burn through them twice as fast. The best possible way to avoid getting pregnant during that time is sustaining from sex, and believe me, that will be the last thing on your mind. When our mates are in heat, we males become ravenous. I remember Alec and his wife not coming out of their bedrooms for three days.” Adam stood and came toward me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Would it be so bad to carry my child, Anna?”

“No,” I said, “but it’s only been a couple weeks and …”

“What?”

“The vision, Adam. It freaks me out that you’re not worried about it, and if you were to die, how could I raise a child on my own? I would be devastated, useless.”

“That’s not going to happen. I think you had that vision so we could stop it. It was a gift from the spirits. Most people don’t get warnings and are caught off guard. We won’t be. As for the length of time we’ve been together, I wanted you as the mother of my children from the moment I first laid eyes on you. I knew right then that you were it for me. Whether we’ve been together for a day or ten years, you will always be the one.”

Adam always said the right things, words made to make women swoon and fall at his feet. My anxiety lessened, but my mind didn’t change. I knew kids were not in my immediate future.

“Would you hate me if I told you I wanted to wait?”

Adam smiled. “I don’t think you understand what you’re saying and the intensity to which your desires will be during the heat, but I could never hate you, Chante.”

“Then lock me up in the cage in the basement if you have to, but I will not lose my wits simply because my body is under some kind of baby-making spell. I will endure the torture so long as a decision isn’t made with a horny brain.”

Adam laughed. “I will be in torture, too. My dick will be fighting to fill you and spill my seed into your womb. It will be agony.”

This werewolf thing just kept getting better and better. The cage in the basement was built for new werewolves. It was the perfect solution, but it wouldn’t help Adam.

“Well, it looks like you’ll be tugging your meat stick until it passes.”

Adam grinned. “I haven’t tugged the meat stick since I was in high school.”

A thought occurred to me and turned my stomach inside out. “How did Eve not get pregnant? If the heat is so overpowering, how is it that you didn’t have children with her?” I hated asking about Eve, or even thinking about her with Adam. I didn’t care that he was hers before me. She’d been psychotic and unfaithful to Adam, sleeping with his brother.

“I ordered her to stay away from me during that time.” Adam shrugged and sat down. “I was mated to her so it was my duty to impregnate her during that time, and I knew I did not want kids with that woman. Our union was political, and I didn’t want to bring children into something like that. She disappeared during the heat and came back after it was over. I always assumed she went to Anthony, but I never asked. I didn’t care. She never carried, though. I don’t know if she couldn’t have children, or if Anthony’s wolf refused her during that time because she was mated to me. Our wolves are very possessive—”

“I’ve noticed,” I joked.

“Anthony could fuck Eve all the time while not in heat, but once it was upon her, his wolf would have rejected what he knew wasn’t his.”

I frowned, thinking for a moment. “But you said even the men go crazy. Why would his wolf reject her when she was out of her mind with horniness?”

“I forget there’s still so much you don’t know,” Adam added. “Mated wolves cheat from time to time—”

I gasped, surprised by the confession. Was he saying he had cheated on me because it was a normal werewolf thing to do? Vomit crawled up my throat at the thought of him with another woman.

“Not me, Anna. I would never do that. You are the only woman I will ever want. I don’t look at any other women in that way. I just meant, some men look outside of their unions for sex—mostly because their pairings weren’t for the right reasons. But during our woman’s heat, it’s in our DNA to produce offspring with our mate—the woman we vowed ourselves to as a way to grow our bloodlines. We would never want children with one of our mistresses.”

The meaning dawned on me, and anger filled me. “You mean because your mistresses are mutts, right? You wouldn’t want to soil the alpha bloodline with dirty blood. Why the hell do you want a kid with me then? Last time I checked, I was a mutt, Adam.”

“I don’t believe you’re a mutt, Anna. You’ve had alpha tendencies since you first turned. You may not have been born alpha, but make no mistake, you are alpha.”

I started getting dressed, pissed beyond belief. Sure, Adam thought I had alpha tendencies and we were paired together, but had we not bonded, he wouldn’t have wanted children with me. Would he have even made me his mate?

“What are you doing?”

“Getting dressed and leaving.”

Adam yanked my clothes from my hands and threw them across the room. He curled his fingers around the back of my neck and held me in place.

“You’re blowing this out of proportion. You know I don’t think of you as a mutt. I am proud that you’re my mate.”

“Just because you don’t think of me as one, doesn’t mean that isn’t what I am, Adam. Had the Chante mark not appeared, would you even be with me right now, or still trying to make me your mistress?”

“Stop it,” Adam growled. “You know damn well I never wanted you as a mistress. I never treated you as such so get that thought out of your head right now. Don’t throw your insecurities onto me.”

I snorted in derision. “Didn’t you?” I retorted. “You tried sleeping with me while with Eve. You told me that you couldn’t leave her because it was your duty to be mated to her. How is that not treating me like a mistress? And the only reason it didn’t work was because I didn’t fall at your feet and worship you like every other pack whore.”

Adam gripped my arm and tossed me onto the bed. Spreading my legs, he positioned himself at my center, his erection pressing against my folds. Without warning, he buried himself in me and began moving his hips.

“I want you to listen to what I’m saying and believe it word for word,” he said, thrusting harder, deeper. “I never tried to turn you into a whore or thought of you in those terms. You cannot hold my merit against me. Staying with Eve was just as much for the pack’s benefit as it was yours.” Adam gripped my hips and yanked me against him hard so my center met him thrust for thrust. I moaned despite myself.

“I’ve wanted you by my side since you appeared on my mountain, Anna. I didn’t care who you were, where you came from, or if you had a man. The only reason I kept my distance is because I knew it wasn’t fair to want you while I was mated. Make no mistake that I will never stop wanting you.”

His mouth clamped down on my breast, his tongue twirling around my erect nipple. I writhed beneath him, my hands going to his shoulders.

“Fucking you is a perk,” Adam growled. “Having you by my side is the real reward. Do. Not. Ever. Forget. That.”

We both came at the same time, and boy did that orgasm blow the other two out of the water. It was raw, angry, and amazing. My anger dissipated with my release, my body limp and exhausted.

“We got way off track,” Adam said, standing up. “I didn’t set all this up to talk about babies, or what some purebred men do. I had a plan, and you come in here and made me forget myself. Stubborn ass woman.”

“Hey,” I said, disgruntled. “I wasn’t the one who brought up babies or mistresses. That was all you.”

Adam turned, grinning while he pulled on a pair of nylon track pants. My eyes absorbed his thick shoulders, and slim waist, and all the ridges of muscles making up his flat stomach. No matter how frustrated or mad I got with him, it all faded away when I thought with the shallow part of my brain. I couldn’t help it; the man was scrumptious.

Going to my dresser, Adam took out a cotton nightgown and handed it to me. Sitting up, I slipped it on and pulled my hair into a ponytail. It was sticky with sweat. I’d definitely have to take a shower before I even thought about sleeping.

“So, what was your plan?”

Adam reached into his pants pocket and knelt before me. Reaching a hand up, he trailed soft fingertips along my cheek.

“You have done nothing but test me since the first moment you arrived. You defied me at every turn, talked back, and made me crazy. I’ve never met a woman with a head as hard as yours.”

“Ah,” I said. “Your plan was to put me down?”

“Shut up, Anna,” Adam snapped. “What I’m saying is, despite how frustrated I get with you, I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. I love your strong will and your passion. I love that your left eye crinkles when you’re mad. I love that you crack your knuckles when you’re nervous. I love that even though you put on a brave face, your insecurities show when you don’t think anyone is looking. I love that you don’t back down from me or anyone else. I love every single cell that makes you who you are. And I would love it if you said yes.”