Embracing the Wolf

“Since when do you care what people think about you?” I asked my reflection. I smiled to myself and shook my head, realizing I was freaking out over nothing. Who cared that our two new visitors were tall and built like Victoria’s Secret models? I had a few assets of my own—and Adam. What else mattered?

Tucking my little green monster away, I exited the bathroom and headed back out to the deck. Just in the short amount of time I was gone more people had arrived. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and wove between the large bodies. I was halted to a stop when someone slung an arm around my shoulders.

“Have you met our little alpha?” Joe asked, squeezing me closer to his chest. “Anna this is Sage. Sage this is Anna, our new alpha female.”

I smiled at the woman standing next to Joe. Her raven hair fell to her waist like an oil slick. Almond shaped brown eyes smiled back at me. Her skin was the perfect combination of brown sugar and cream, and she was tall. I felt very tiny by comparison. She wore a leather bustier and low-slung jeans with a tooled leather belt. Turquoise earrings dangled from her ears.

“Hi, Anna. Thank you for having us to your home.” She held out her hand, and I did the same.

“No problem, we’re happy to have you.”

She smiled wider, as though amused with my response. Joe leaned in close and whispered in my ear.

“Classy, very regal response.”

I glared up at him, and he chuckled. I realized then that this week was going to be a lot more difficult than I expected. Our pack was laid back in the manners department. How was I to know there were polite werewolves?

“I should mingle,” I said as an excuse to leave. “I look forward to getting to know you, Sage.”

She bowed her head and smiled. I took it as my cue to escape the discomfort and made a beeline for Elle. She was in the middle of talking with Sawyer and one of the other females in our pack, Rachel.

“Hey guys.”

Sawyer and Rachel stopped talking as soon as I stepped into the conversation. My stomach rolled with nervousness. It seemed I was the odd man out all of a sudden. In a sea of new faces, I felt like the stranger.

“I see some of the visitors have already arrived.” I was looking at Elle, but slid a sideways glance at Sawyer. He shifted his gaze from my face to Rachel’s. She was pretty in a girl-next-door sort of way. Not much of a talker. In the five months I’d been on the mountain, I think we had only a handful of conversations, though she seemed pretty chatty with Elle and Sawyer. Maybe she just didn’t like me for whatever reason.

“Yeah, did you see the hot blonde?” Elle said with a smirk and a nod of her head. I looked over my shoulder to see the blonde from earlier. She was sitting on the railing of the deck chatting with the brunette and Adam.

“Yeah, I’ve seen her,” I said between clenched teeth.

“Competition sucks, huh?”

I swiveled my head back to face Sawyer. “He’s just talking to them. I’m confident enough that it doesn’t bother me.” The lie slid through my lips so easily. Sawyer and I were locked in a stare down when Elle cleared her throat.

“Anna doesn’t have anything to worry about. That girl doesn’t bat for Adam’s team.”

“How do you know?” Rachel asked. “She looks pretty chummy with our alpha.” She looked up at me and then away, embarrassed. “Sorry,” she muttered.

“You don’t have to apologize,” I told her and then glared at Sawyer. “I’m not worried about her or any other woman who talks to Adam.”

Elle flipped a couple steaks, resting a hand on her hip. “Because she’s been flirting with me since she got here.” She turned and looked past me to the blonde. “All I’m sayin’ is, if the beds a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’ tonight.”

I laughed and bumped her hip with mine. “Don’t worry; no one wants to see that.”

“Speak for yourself,” Asher said walking up to us. His shaggy brown hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and his normal scruff was shaved clean.

“Asher ... did you … shave?” My eyes fell to his clothes. “And you tucked in your shirt?”

He rubbed his stubble-free jawline and shrugged. “I figured I’d clean the mug for the ladies to enjoy this week. And I only tucked the shirt in because there’s a hole at the hem.”

“You’ll bring ‘em to their knees, you stud muffin.”

“That’s the idea.” He winked and took a swig of his beer.

I slapped his arm and laughed. “You’re disgusting.”

Elle, Rachel, and I were all laughing over Asher’s comments, but Sawyer stepped away. I watched him head down the porch steps and into the yard. Someone had started building a bonfire for later tonight.

“I’ll be right back,” I told my friends and followed Sawyer out into the yard. I couldn’t stand the awkwardness between us. Just a short time ago, we were sort of a couple, if being forced on dates was considered being a couple. Still, I had grown to like Sawyer and, before bonding with Adam, imagined us being mates. In the end, the undeniable pull toward Adam ruined any chance with Sawyer. I knew it was still a sore subject for him, but ignoring me wouldn’t fix it.

“I’m sorry if I ruined that back there,” I said, coming up alongside Sawyer. He looked over at me and then out at the trees. “I can explain to Rachel that nothing is going on between us anymore. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me, but I can make her listen.”

“Rachel?” he asked quizzically.

“Yeah, weren’t you two … you know, hitting it off before I came along?”

“No, it’s not like that. We were just chatting with Elle. Rachel’s nice, but not for me.”

I didn’t question why. I wanted our conversation to stay on safe ground, and I was afraid of what his response might be. Not that I thought he was still hopelessly into me, but it’s never easy to talk to an ex about present or future relationships.

“So, why did you leave?” I sat down beside him on one of the hay bales surrounding the stacked bonfire wood.

“It’s still a little weird … being around you. I’m happy for you, but I’m not …” He looked over at me. “Ya know?”

I nodded as my stomach churned with dizzy butterflies. “Yeah. I’m sorry, Sawyer. I wish things would have gone differently.”

He leaned over so that his arms were resting on his legs and looked over at me. His spiky, sandy blond hair glistened in the falling sun. “How do you mean? You’re not happy with Adam?”

My bottom jaw dropped in surprise. “What? No. I just meant, if he hadn’t forced me to date you, then you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. I love talking to you, and now things are just …”

“Awkward?” Sawyer supplied.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “And I don’t know how to fix it.”

“You don’t have to,” Sawyer said. “It’s the way of our world—the strongest prevail.”

“It’s not like that,” I told him. “I didn’t choose Adam over you because he’s the alpha. I didn’t really have a say in the matter. It just … is what it is. We’re Chantes.”

Sawyer was nodding his head, but not saying anything. I figured I said what I had to say and staying longer would only undo what I had done. I stood up and was on my way back to the deck when Sawyer finally spoke.

“It’s not you I’m mad at.”

I stopped and turned. “What?”

“Adam knew how he felt about you when he paired us together. He may have been trying to fight it, but he knew damn well he would eventually claim you, and he did. He made me … and then took you … just like that.”

His green eyes turned hard as he stared at me. I could see the pain hiding within them, and it made my heart break. In a normal situation, a girl would have a choice between the two men. In my predicament, there was no question, no doubt who I was supposed to be with. It was Adam. It would always be Adam. Since the bonding, every other man fell off my radar. I didn’t see Sawyer, or anyone else, in the same light as I saw Adam. That just made my relationship with Sawyer that much harder. I couldn’t give him even an inch of hope, and my compassion would only make him think I pitied him.

“He didn’t have a choice either,” I told him again, turning and heading back to the group. I hugged my arms to my chest and lost myself to my thoughts as I walked. I could feel familiar eyes on me. His gaze licked my skin and awakened my wolf. I lifted my head to see Adam standing on the steps staring out at me.

“Everything okay?” he asked as I reached him. He wasn’t staring at me anymore. His eyes locked on Sawyer’s back.

“Yeah, why?” I smiled, hoping he couldn’t feel the inner turmoil roiling through my stomach. There wasn’t much we could hide from each other now that we were Chantes, but I still hoped he didn’t pick up on my guilt.

“You’re upset,” Adam stated. “Is it because of him,” he nodded toward Sawyer, “or have I done something?”

“It’s nothing,” I reassured him. “Nobody did anything.” I stepped up the first couple of steps and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. Closing my eyes, I inhaled his scent. It eased my mind and washed away any semblance of worry I had.

“Food’s ready,” Elle called over the loud crowd. Everyone stopped talking and bowed their heads. Adam bent over, kissed the top of my head, and then grabbed my hand.

“Come on, my Chante.” Together we walked up the steps to join the others. Adam walked over to the front of the deck. There were at least thirty people on the porch and more lingering in the yard. The ones mingling on the lawn began walking forward.

“It is with great pleasure that the Everwood pack welcomes the Annual Conference to Wyoming. Some of you know my family and me, but have not met my mate, Anna.” Adam held our joined hands up to signal to me. I met everyone’s eyes, a smile on my face, and nodded in greeting. A few of the responding faces were not so welcoming. The blonde Adam was speaking to earlier stood in the back with her friend, both of them eyeing me like a hungry cat facing a mouse. My wolf responded with a vibrating growl I hoped no one heard.