Fallen Too Far

"What did I say to make you frown?" he asked, slipping a finger under my chin and tilting my head up so that I was looking at him.

I didn’t want to answer this truthfully. I was enjoying our time together. I knew if I delved too deep too soon he’d take off running. "When you kissed me last night I didn’t feel the silver barbell thingy."

Rush’s eyelids lowered and he leaned forward. "Because I wasn’t wearing it."

He was now.

"When you, uh, kiss someone with it in can they feel it?"

Rush sucked in a sharp breath and his mouth came even closer to mine. "Blaire, tell me to leave. Please."

If he was about to kiss me then I wasn’t telling him anything of the like. I wanted him here. I also wanted to kiss him with that thing in his mouth.

"You would have felt it. Everywhere I want to kiss you, you would feel it. And you would enjoy it," he whispered in my ear before pressing a kiss to my shoulder and taking a deep breath. Was he smelling me?

"Are you… are you going to kiss me again?" I asked breathlessly as he pressed his nose to my neck and inhaled.

"I want to. I want to so f**king bad but I’m trying to be good," he murmured against my skin.

"Could you not be good for just one kiss? Please?" I asked, scooting closer to him. I would be in his lap soon.

"Sweet Blaire, so incredibly sweet," he said as his lips touched the curve of my neck and shoulder. If he kept this up I would start begging.

His tongue came out and took a quick swipe at the tender skin on my neck then he trailed kisses along my jawline until his mouth hovered over mine. I started to plead again but he pressed one soft kiss to my lips and it stopped me. Then he pulled back but only an inch. His warm breath still bathed my lips.

"Blaire, I’m not a romantic guy. I don’t kiss and cuddle. It’s all about the sex for me. You deserve someone who kisses and cuddles. Not me. I just f**k, baby. You aren’t meant for someone like me. I’ve never denied myself something I want. But you’re too sweet. This time I have to tell myself no."

As his words sunk in I whimpered from the erotic sound of those naughty words rolling off his tongue. It wasn’t until he stood up and grabbed the doorknob that I realized he was going to walk away from me. Again. Leaving me like this.

"I can’t talk anymore. Not tonight. Not alone in here with you." The sadness in his tone made my heart hurt a little. Then he was gone and closing the door behind him.

I leaned back against the headboard and groaned in frustration. Why had I let him in here? This hot and cold game he was playing was out of my league. I wondered where he would go now. There were plenty of females out there he would kiss. Ones he had no problem kissing if they begged.

The stomping of people going up stairs rattled above my head. I wasn’t getting any sleep for a while.  I didn’t want to stay in here and Woods was expecting me. There was no reason to stand him up. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him but I could at least tell him that I wasn’t up for a beach chat.

I walked into the kitchen. Grant’s back was to me and he had some girl pressed up against the counter. Her hands were tangled in his wild brown curls. They seemed very preoccupied. I quietly exited out the backdoor hoping I didn’t walk up on any other makeout sessions.

"I didn’t think you were going to show," Woods’ voice came from the darkness.

I turned to see him leaning against the railing watching me. I felt guilty for not coming out here first and letting him know I wasn’t going to meet him. I couldn’t manage to make wise decisions where Rush was involved.

"I’m sorry. I got sidetracked." I didn’t want to explain.

"I saw Rush exit the little cubby hole he has you in back there," he replied.

I bit my lip and nodded. I was busted. Might as well fess up.

"He didn’t stay long. Was it a friendly visit or was he kicking you out?"

It was… it was a nice visit. We did talk. Up until I asked him to kiss me again it had been fun. I’d enjoyed his company.  "Just a friendly chat," I explained.

Woods let out a hard laugh and shook his head. "Why don’t I believe that?"

Because he was smart. I shrugged.

"We still on for our walk down to the beach?"

I shook my head. "No. I’m tired. I came out here to get a breath of fresh air and hopefully find you to explain."

Woods gave me a disappointed smile and pushed away from the railing. "Well, all right then. I’m not gonna beg."

"I wouldn’t expect you to," I replied.

He walked back toward the doors and I waited until he was back inside before breathing a sigh of relief. That hadn’t been so bad. Maybe now he would back off some. Until I figured out what to do with this attraction I had for Rush I didn’t need anyone else confusing me more.

I gave it a few minutes then turned and followed him inside. Grant was no longer at the bar with the girl. They’d gone for a more secluded spot apparently. I started toward the pantry door when Rush walked into the kitchen followed by a giggling brunette. She was hanging on his arm and acting like she couldn’t walk steadily. Either it was from alcohol or the six-inch heels she was bobbling on.

"But you said," she slurred and kissed the arm that she was clinging to. Yep she was drunk.

Rush’s eyes met mine. He’d be kissing her tonight. She wouldn’t even have to beg. She’d also taste like beer. Was that a turn on for him?

"I’ll take off my panties down here if you will," she said, not even taking note that they weren’t alone.

"Babs, I’ve already told you no. I’m not interested," he replied without looking away from me. He was turning her down. And he wanted me to know.