Fearless In Love

She sighed. After they’d made love, after he’d made her feel like she mattered, it turned out that letting Matt go wasn’t easy at all.

Get a grip, Ari. After all, she’d walked into his arms with her eyes wide open, hadn’t she?

She kissed the top of Noah’s head and forced herself to smile at Matt as she waved good-bye. In the huge garage, as she unlocked the door of her ancient car, the shiny frame of Noah’s bicycle caught her eye, the training wheels on the back. Behind it was the mountain bike.

She needed a distraction to take her mind off her one and only night with Matt. And Noah needed a distraction to take his mind off his mom. What better way than learning to ride his bike without the training wheels? They could surprise Matt after Noah had mastered it. It might help him reevaluate his position on the water wings or letting Noah help cook breakfast or…heck, any number of things.

And it might end her fixation on how seductively her sexy boss kissed. Because she needed to concentrate on being the best nanny Noah had ever had. Even better than Mary Poppins.

* * *

Ari had been here only one week. How was it possible that the house could feel empty without her? Matt had itched to ask her to spend the day with them, but he’d have driven himself to the edge of insanity keeping his hands—and mouth—off her all day long. Hell, he’d barely been able to sleep last night. It had taken all his willpower not to walk down the hall and beg her to come back to his bed, back into his arms. Back to the place where everything finally felt right, if only for a few precious hours in the dark.

No question about it, she was worth a beating from his brothers. But it was Susan’s gaze he couldn’t face if she knew he’d taken his nanny to bed, abusing the trust of his employee.

“So, buddy, what shall we do today?”

“The zoo.” A pout hinted on Noah’s mouth.

Ari had mentioned Irene’s broken promise. There were obviously residual effects of her casual thoughtlessness.

“I haven’t been to the zoo in ages.” He always tried to do something fun with Noah on their weekends together. “I heard about a great place close by from a guy at work. With a puppet theater and a petting zoo. You can even talk to the parrots. How does that sound?”

“Fun!” Noah’s eyes bugged with excitement.

“I just need to drop off some work papers on the way, okay?”

Half an hour later, they were in the car. Doreen had the day off, and he enjoyed driving Noah himself. He had the guilty thought that it would have been so damn sweet with Ari beside him, leaning between the seats to inspire Noah with endless questions or comments, teaching him with everything she said and did.

Wending their way through surface streets to reach the San Jose office, Noah chattered about school, the mummy museum, meeting Ari’s friend and her son. He was glad Noah was distracted, because the neighborhood wasn’t the best. He was pretty sure he saw a drug deal going down in an alleyway, and an inappropriately dressed lady attempting to attract business, even on a Sunday morning.

He’d seen worse in his old Chicago neighborhood. A stabbing or a shooting on a Friday night was common. But when Noah came along, he’d realized the true importance of having made it out of that life. His mission was to make sure his son never lived the kind of childhood Matt had, the kind of life all the Mavericks had experienced. If not for Susan and Bob, he didn’t know where they’d all be. The Mavericks were his blood brothers. But Susan and Bob had been their heart.

Turning a corner, he almost hit the brakes. Golden-blond hair, skinny jeans, and an innately sensual walk that stopped his heart—he’d know that rear view anywhere.

What the hell was Ari doing here?

She stopped at a corner apartment building, its flaking paint faded to gray and the awning ready to fall off its struts. His foot unconsciously lifted off the accelerator, and the car slowed as she opened the outer door and disappeared inside.

This was where her friend lived?

This was where she’d brought Noah?

It couldn’t be. She’d vowed to keep his son safe, and he trusted her to keep that promise. Ari wouldn’t bring Noah here. So what was up? Had she lied about where she was going? Maybe she planned to meet up with a man instead of her friends.

After what they’d done Friday night, Matt’s mind twisted imagining another man’s hands on her, another man’s lips covering hers…

“Daddy?”

Damn it. He’d stopped paying attention to Noah. “Yeah, buddy?”

“Do parrots bite?”

“We’ll find out today.” His son was priority number one, not what had happened with Ari the other night. But he still couldn’t strip the image of her with another man from his mind—or the jealousy that knifed deep into his gut.

Because even if he couldn’t have her now, for one perfect night Ari had been his.

* * *

Noah adored the puppet theater, and he’d gone back to the petting zoo three times, hunkering down to stroke his hands along the goats’ sides. They learned that parrots could bite and their beaks had tremendous pressure per square inch. Matt approved of how carefully the docent handled both the birds and the kids surrounding them. When the talking parrot repeated what Noah said, he giggled, his hands over his mouth. By the end of the day, they’d vanquished Irene’s ghost completely—at least until the next time she dropped in to stir things up. Happy, laughing, joyful Noah chattered all the way home.

“We have to tell Ari about the llamas, Daddy.” Matt had lifted him up to pet them.

That had been Noah’s refrain all day long: We have to tell Ari.

It was impossible to stop thinking of her when Noah clearly wished she had been with them too.

If Irene was the specter…Ari was the dream.

A dream Matt couldn’t let himself have. Not just because she was his son’s nanny, but also because he didn’t have anything to offer her beyond wild, beautiful, fabulous sex. Matt didn’t have what it took to cement a real relationship that would last, not after Irene or a childhood like his. He could still see Ari’s horror when he’d told her about Natural Born Killers.

It was close to dinnertime, and Matt stopped for takeout pizza. The closer they got to home, the faster his heart beat with anticipation for the mere sight of her car parked in the garage.

Damn it, he had it crazy bad for her.